Hi Joanne. I know this is a post from last year but i stumbled upon it and had a read. I am 20, with an older and younger brother and 3 nieces. My father was diagnosed with terminal oesophageal cancer in june 2012. The news was not good as it was so far advanced ( his oesophagus, down to his stomach, through to his intestines and on his lymph-nodes spreading fast. This was a shock, and we were never given much information on how long we had the focus was on prolonging his life. We all thought is would be a matter of months (if we were lucky) as he became drastically ill, so quickly and seemed to deteriorate. He lost so much weight and became gaunt and frail. But he never once stopped living his life as normal. Throughout his chemo course he helped me to move into my flat (3 floors up with no lift) lifting heavy furniture against our wishes, he began renovating his house and converting it, big jobs. We are so proud to see him fight. I thought i understood what we were told, and i know its happening, and know we are lucky for each day is a miracle. But i feel that as time has went on, rather than grieving more, i am becoming reluctant to believe the truth, the truth being any day he could pass away. I feel like at the begining i understoon and accepted it better and now i am not and am scared that it will be harder when the time comes. I was wondering if i am alone in feeling this way? Keileih.

Hi Joanne. I know this is a post from last year but i stumbled upon it and had a read. I am 20, with an older and younger brother and 3 nieces. My father was diagnosed with terminal oesophageal cancer in june 2012. The news was not good as it was so far advanced ( his oesophagus, down to his stomach, through to his intestines and on his lymph-nodes spreading fast. This was a shock, and we were never given much information on how long we had the focus was on prolonging his life. We all thought is would be a matter of months (if we were lucky) as he became drastically ill, so quickly and seemed to deteriorate. He lost so much weight and became gaunt and frail. But he never once stopped living his life as normal. Throughout his chemo course he helped me to move into my flat (3 floors up with no lift) lifting heavy furniture against our wishes, he began renovating his house and converting it, big jobs. We are so proud to see him fight. I thought i understood what we were told, and i know its happening, and know we are lucky for each day is a miracle. But i feel that as time has went on, rather than grieving more, i am becoming reluctant to believe the truth, the truth being any day he could pass away. I feel like at the begining i understoon and accepted it better and now i am not and am scared that it will be harder when the time comes. I was wondering if i am alone in feeling this way? Keileih.