Hi Joanne,

I understand how you are feeling and my heart goes out to you. I think you are coping really well at this difficult time.  I found out on easter weekend that mum has a brain tumour and only weeks left.It was very sudden and I'm still in shock how quick it has happened, Like you, I try to be strong, especially when I am with her. I have done my best not to cry in front of her.  Mum is loosing her memory, some days worse than others.  She tries to say what she wants me to do after she has died which, is hard to listen to, but then she's forgets and tells me again on the next visit!  Each time we talk about it she is comforted to know that I will deal with everything. I think your dad will feel the same. Hang in there, take one day at a time,  I will be thinking of you

Dear jo,

Just had to say hello and wated to give you a big hug, via the computer.  My dad also has terminal lung cancer, started in his throat but spread and now there is nothing to be done but wait.  My world, like yours collapsed when i was told the news about my dad, my super dad dad, my strong dad, who could beat anyone and anything..i look at him now and he looks nothing like the man he was two years ago, cancer is a horrible, vicious disease that takes the ones we love so much so far away from us..i know you are going through what i will be going through in the next 6/12 months and i can only say be there for the people that need you, your dad, mum, other family members, try and stay strong together..and i know you have prob told him countless times but keep telling your dad just how much you love him..he might not always say it back as he might not always have the strength but please tell him..he wont say it (like my dad) but it will mean the world to him...im thinking of you, please dont feel alone because you are really not xx

Hello Joanne, My dad has recently died of lung cancer and it's horrible. But I like to think of it as he's been relised of the pain that he had while he was alive.

Sometimes thats the best thing. From Zaswza2002

Hi Joanne. I know this is a post from last year but i stumbled upon it and had a read. I am 20, with an older and younger brother and 3 nieces. My father was diagnosed with terminal oesophageal cancer in june 2012. The news was not good as it was so far advanced ( his oesophagus, down to his stomach, through to his intestines and on his lymph-nodes spreading fast. This was a shock, and we were never given much information on how long we had the focus was on prolonging his life. We all thought is would be a matter of months (if we were lucky) as he became drastically ill, so quickly and seemed to deteriorate. He lost so much weight and became gaunt and frail. But he never once stopped living his life as normal. Throughout his chemo course he helped me to move into my flat (3 floors up with no lift) lifting heavy furniture against our wishes, he began renovating his house and converting it, big jobs. We are so proud to see him fight. I thought i understood what we were told, and i know its happening, and know we are lucky for each day is a miracle. But i feel that as time has went on, rather than grieving more, i am becoming reluctant to believe the truth, the truth being any day he could pass away. I feel like at the begining i understoon and accepted it better and now i am not and am scared that it will be harder when the time comes. I was wondering if i am alone in feeling this way? Keileih.

Hello I just want to say your not on your own, yesterday we got told that my dad has officially chosen to be taken of his treatment as it is no longer working and is now making him feel so so weak  and tired so they are sending him home when he is well enough to spend the rest of his time in his garden. But again my dad is my world and yesterday's news made me feel like the world was coming crashing down and j completely agree that you don't want them to suffer but at the same time you don't want to lose them. They haven't given him a time but to the waiting game that I find the hardest. It is every day to the next. I just tell him in a morning that I love him and then last thing at night during the day I don't mention his cancer I just tell him about my day trying for some normality. He is so weak now and sleeps for most the day however the next day he will be ok but then in hours he could be on oxygen it is so hard. My dad has been crying also but only really yesterday when he had to say he was tired and has had enough. I hope you are ok. The world is such a cruel place. Xxxx

I completely sympathise. My dad's been told he has weeks after we thought he had a successful surgery. I feel completely numb and can't imagine life without him. I don't want him to see me worry and I want him to know I'll be fine but I never thought it would happen to me and our family. I always imagined how things would be, I get married next year. But life throws things that no one can understand and like many we deal, cope and move forward. Keep talking. 

Life is so un fair your born into a family they care for you look after always there for you no matter what but at the end of the day they leave you it's  all so sad

My dad has been given 3 months yesterday  I'm finding it hard to go and see him , I don't know what to say  but I know it's  me being selfish I don't  want to watch him die 

It's  just life .stay strong ,your not alone your never alone

Big hugs x x

Hi darling I am in the same boat my dad was working till 5 weeks ago due to the neglect from the nhs he is now dying with cancer. I go and be positive he jokes around but he knows he is dying x I went to see him today he now is in bed he is 75 ! He hasn't even retired x he looked dreadful this morning x 

We had out cry together on the phone he was crying and I was crying my best friend in the world. He said people have to die Nat. 
If he can be this amazingly brave and lovely munchkin I will be strong I go into another room have a cry then go back and take this kick out of him x

Sadly he doesn't have long it is so aggressive he has it all over his body now because the nhs didn't give him chemo or radiation after they operated.

Need to be strong hun I tell myself that and if I get negative I have a word with myself or I will utterly loose my *** x

Be with him and be positive he won't want to see you upset and will worry about you. 
If you need to chat I am here

hugs 

Natty xx

Hi Joanne, 

im in the same *** boat, my dad has colon cNcer secondary liver (advanced) theres nothing they can do for him now Nd watching him day by day loose a little more of himself if heart breaking. My dads a mans man doesnt do feelings lol but ive seen him cry a few times now and ive done cleaning up of sick etc and i know he hates it we dont talk about the embarrassing things but every now and then he will just msg me and say u do so much thanks and thats the end of the convo. 
 

I feel like i dont get time to cry im too busy with caring flr him, my son, helping my mum and working, i know i would have cracked by now otherwise. 
sometimes i wake up and forget its happening to us untill i hear a groan from his room then reality kicks in again and i feel that awful feeling of when we were first told. 
 

Ur doing amazing considering the circumstances and im always here for a chat xxxx