Is cancer your best kept secret?

In the news recently both David Bowie and Victoria Wood died from cancer, but kept it a secret from everyone until the very end. So is it best to hide your diagnosis or just let everyone know from the outset?

When first diagnosed I kept it to myself, I did not want my family to worry unduly and wanted to continue with as normal a life as possible. So I hid the hospital letters, deleted phone call records and went on my own to the clinics. Eventually I needed major surgery (difficult to hide) and then had to let everyone know. My partner was quite angry I'd not told her earlier. However I was gratetful for all the help I got from family and true friends, quite a few people dissapeared off the scene, I'm told this is a normal reaction, whilst others seemed to avoid speaking to me. I guess folks feel awkward and don't know what to say when you've got cancer, while they can easily find something to say if you've a broken leg. Having had this disease for coming up to two years now I am open about having cancer and discuss it freely with anyone. I find that it helps me and also helps those I talk to, understand more about cancer and dispel the many myths there are surrounding cancer.

So what's your take on it, keep it to yourself like David and Victoria, or just let everyone know.

Parents
  • Interesting post. I can see why celebrities have kept it a secret. On the other hand my dad went to the doctors the beginning of October who told him there and then they thought he had cancer which he chose to share with us. He passed away 3 weeks later, 3 days after being diagnosed. My point is, he must of known how poorly he was (within reason) the months prior to it. Looking back he had so many excuses why he'd lost some weight, or why he couldn't do something. He was building a garage last year and hadn't finished tiling the roof and kept coming up with excuses why not, the wheelbarrow had a puncture, he thought it was going to rain when it was sunny! He'd lost weight because he stopped drinking beer. Whether it was denial or what all I can say is it hurt like hell that he went so quickly. It left no time to get your head around it. I know my mum hurts that he never said anything to her after being married over 40 years.

Reply
  • Interesting post. I can see why celebrities have kept it a secret. On the other hand my dad went to the doctors the beginning of October who told him there and then they thought he had cancer which he chose to share with us. He passed away 3 weeks later, 3 days after being diagnosed. My point is, he must of known how poorly he was (within reason) the months prior to it. Looking back he had so many excuses why he'd lost some weight, or why he couldn't do something. He was building a garage last year and hadn't finished tiling the roof and kept coming up with excuses why not, the wheelbarrow had a puncture, he thought it was going to rain when it was sunny! He'd lost weight because he stopped drinking beer. Whether it was denial or what all I can say is it hurt like hell that he went so quickly. It left no time to get your head around it. I know my mum hurts that he never said anything to her after being married over 40 years.

Children
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