Is cancer your best kept secret?

In the news recently both David Bowie and Victoria Wood died from cancer, but kept it a secret from everyone until the very end. So is it best to hide your diagnosis or just let everyone know from the outset?

When first diagnosed I kept it to myself, I did not want my family to worry unduly and wanted to continue with as normal a life as possible. So I hid the hospital letters, deleted phone call records and went on my own to the clinics. Eventually I needed major surgery (difficult to hide) and then had to let everyone know. My partner was quite angry I'd not told her earlier. However I was gratetful for all the help I got from family and true friends, quite a few people dissapeared off the scene, I'm told this is a normal reaction, whilst others seemed to avoid speaking to me. I guess folks feel awkward and don't know what to say when you've got cancer, while they can easily find something to say if you've a broken leg. Having had this disease for coming up to two years now I am open about having cancer and discuss it freely with anyone. I find that it helps me and also helps those I talk to, understand more about cancer and dispel the many myths there are surrounding cancer.

So what's your take on it, keep it to yourself like David and Victoria, or just let everyone know.

Parents
  • Hi folks,

    This is an interesting thread.

    I had to eventually tell Mrs B as she was the one who made me go to my GP. Right from that first appiontment I was fairly sure I had prostate cancer but didnt want to tell Mrs B at that time. As each appiontment passed I sort of raised the warning level. Th worst day was when I had to tell her it had been confirmed as prostate cancer but she took it far better than I could have hoped for. We told the rest of the family at that point and I am so glad I did as I recieved so much help and support which made my journey so much easier.

    A couple of years later Mrs B told me why she wasnt worried. She said, "You never let anything get you down and I just knew you would get over it". Womans Intuition. She knows me better than I do myself for when I take her out for a surprise car ride, she always knows where I am going to take her even before I have decided myself ha ha.

    I agree with River's point about celebrtities.

    Thank you Kim for starting this thread and to Lorrain and River for your contributions, Brian

Reply
  • Hi folks,

    This is an interesting thread.

    I had to eventually tell Mrs B as she was the one who made me go to my GP. Right from that first appiontment I was fairly sure I had prostate cancer but didnt want to tell Mrs B at that time. As each appiontment passed I sort of raised the warning level. Th worst day was when I had to tell her it had been confirmed as prostate cancer but she took it far better than I could have hoped for. We told the rest of the family at that point and I am so glad I did as I recieved so much help and support which made my journey so much easier.

    A couple of years later Mrs B told me why she wasnt worried. She said, "You never let anything get you down and I just knew you would get over it". Womans Intuition. She knows me better than I do myself for when I take her out for a surprise car ride, she always knows where I am going to take her even before I have decided myself ha ha.

    I agree with River's point about celebrtities.

    Thank you Kim for starting this thread and to Lorrain and River for your contributions, Brian

Children
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