Is cancer your best kept secret?

In the news recently both David Bowie and Victoria Wood died from cancer, but kept it a secret from everyone until the very end. So is it best to hide your diagnosis or just let everyone know from the outset?

When first diagnosed I kept it to myself, I did not want my family to worry unduly and wanted to continue with as normal a life as possible. So I hid the hospital letters, deleted phone call records and went on my own to the clinics. Eventually I needed major surgery (difficult to hide) and then had to let everyone know. My partner was quite angry I'd not told her earlier. However I was gratetful for all the help I got from family and true friends, quite a few people dissapeared off the scene, I'm told this is a normal reaction, whilst others seemed to avoid speaking to me. I guess folks feel awkward and don't know what to say when you've got cancer, while they can easily find something to say if you've a broken leg. Having had this disease for coming up to two years now I am open about having cancer and discuss it freely with anyone. I find that it helps me and also helps those I talk to, understand more about cancer and dispel the many myths there are surrounding cancer.

So what's your take on it, keep it to yourself like David and Victoria, or just let everyone know.

Parents
  • Hi Kim

    Like Lorraine I told family and friends - got it out of the way if you like  - so that when people wanted to arrange things I could just say sorry I cant go its a treatment day - unfortunatly I missed my nieces wedding because of surgery and my uncles funeral because of radiotherapy (both events were not local).

    I could also arrange round my treatment and my bad chemo days and everyone understood.

    On the other hand If I was famous then I would not have told the wider world because I would not want the unwanted press intrusion which would probably have caused more stress to myself family and friends.  I know some in the public eye have announced their cancer but these are the ones who have had to cancel events or disapear from our screens.

     

Reply
  • Hi Kim

    Like Lorraine I told family and friends - got it out of the way if you like  - so that when people wanted to arrange things I could just say sorry I cant go its a treatment day - unfortunatly I missed my nieces wedding because of surgery and my uncles funeral because of radiotherapy (both events were not local).

    I could also arrange round my treatment and my bad chemo days and everyone understood.

    On the other hand If I was famous then I would not have told the wider world because I would not want the unwanted press intrusion which would probably have caused more stress to myself family and friends.  I know some in the public eye have announced their cancer but these are the ones who have had to cancel events or disapear from our screens.

     

Children
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