Is cancer your best kept secret?

In the news recently both David Bowie and Victoria Wood died from cancer, but kept it a secret from everyone until the very end. So is it best to hide your diagnosis or just let everyone know from the outset?

When first diagnosed I kept it to myself, I did not want my family to worry unduly and wanted to continue with as normal a life as possible. So I hid the hospital letters, deleted phone call records and went on my own to the clinics. Eventually I needed major surgery (difficult to hide) and then had to let everyone know. My partner was quite angry I'd not told her earlier. However I was gratetful for all the help I got from family and true friends, quite a few people dissapeared off the scene, I'm told this is a normal reaction, whilst others seemed to avoid speaking to me. I guess folks feel awkward and don't know what to say when you've got cancer, while they can easily find something to say if you've a broken leg. Having had this disease for coming up to two years now I am open about having cancer and discuss it freely with anyone. I find that it helps me and also helps those I talk to, understand more about cancer and dispel the many myths there are surrounding cancer.

So what's your take on it, keep it to yourself like David and Victoria, or just let everyone know.

Parents
  • Hi Kim, unlike you, I decided from the onset that I was telling people (those close to me) that I had been diagnosed. I've never been one to keep things under cover when it wasn't necessary to do so. It has worked for me because I don't have to start explaining when I have treatments, surgeries, etc. that I'm unable to attend this or that function, or cancel plans at the last minute. In my years of growing up, families kept things private and for me, it just made things a whole lot worse when the news got out. I won't go into detail about what that was but it just didn't work to keep it under wraps. It isn't something I discuss in detail with all and sundry, and only family and close friends know all the details.

    It will be interesting to know how others on the forum have handled this one. Thanks for posting.

    Lorraine 

Reply
  • Hi Kim, unlike you, I decided from the onset that I was telling people (those close to me) that I had been diagnosed. I've never been one to keep things under cover when it wasn't necessary to do so. It has worked for me because I don't have to start explaining when I have treatments, surgeries, etc. that I'm unable to attend this or that function, or cancel plans at the last minute. In my years of growing up, families kept things private and for me, it just made things a whole lot worse when the news got out. I won't go into detail about what that was but it just didn't work to keep it under wraps. It isn't something I discuss in detail with all and sundry, and only family and close friends know all the details.

    It will be interesting to know how others on the forum have handled this one. Thanks for posting.

    Lorraine 

Children
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