Hi Blobs. 

I'm so sorry to hear about the passing of your wife. My dad passed away 2 months ago from liver cancer, like you it is still very raw and the images of his final days really do haunt me sometimes.  

You shouldn't feel stupid at all for feeling like you do, losing someone so close to you completely turns your world upside down and makes decisions that seem simple a lot more confusing and emotional. 

My dad passed away 6 days before my 23rd birthday, my mum wrote 'from mum and dad' in my birthday card as she said she couldn't bare not to, which I completely understand but i did get a bit upset and it felt a bit strange. 

Each family are very different and i cant be certain how your children would feel, but i am sure they would never think that you have forgotten their mum. Perhaps you could find a way of honoring your wife at Christmas in a different way, maybe giving your children a candle to light in her memory, or taking on a tradition that your wife did like making a certain kind of food. Last week I scaled a 12 foot ladder to put up the Christmas lights on the front of the house (very much one of my dads traditional Christmas jobs) but I felt like I had to do it on his behalf and that it would make it feel like a more normal Christmas and like he was still with us. 

Whatever you decide to do I'm sure your children will know that you are just trying to do your best for them. Don't to be too hard on yourself, coping with losing a loved one is difficult enough without all the emotion of Christmas. 

Louise 

Hi Blobs. 

I'm so sorry to hear about the passing of your wife. My dad passed away 2 months ago from liver cancer, like you it is still very raw and the images of his final days really do haunt me sometimes.  

You shouldn't feel stupid at all for feeling like you do, losing someone so close to you completely turns your world upside down and makes decisions that seem simple a lot more confusing and emotional. 

My dad passed away 6 days before my 23rd birthday, my mum wrote 'from mum and dad' in my birthday card as she said she couldn't bare not to, which I completely understand but i did get a bit upset and it felt a bit strange. 

Each family are very different and i cant be certain how your children would feel, but i am sure they would never think that you have forgotten their mum. Perhaps you could find a way of honoring your wife at Christmas in a different way, maybe giving your children a candle to light in her memory, or taking on a tradition that your wife did like making a certain kind of food. Last week I scaled a 12 foot ladder to put up the Christmas lights on the front of the house (very much one of my dads traditional Christmas jobs) but I felt like I had to do it on his behalf and that it would make it feel like a more normal Christmas and like he was still with us. 

Whatever you decide to do I'm sure your children will know that you are just trying to do your best for them. Don't to be too hard on yourself, coping with losing a loved one is difficult enough without all the emotion of Christmas. 

Louise