Hi Debbie. I am so sorry for your loss. I just read your story and had to reply. In April of this year I lost my mum to this awful disease in an almost identical way. She went to the doctors with all the same symptoms you’ve described, the jaundice being new on the day she went and was admitted to hospital that same day. She had liver stents fitted 5 days later and a biopsy taken which confirmed the diagnosis and she suddenly took a turn for the worse. Less than 3 weeks later she was gone. She was also young at 54 and had always lived a healthy active lifestyle. Me and my family were shell shocked and still are now almost 5 months later. It really has been the worst time of my life, she was my best friend and I’ve had moments where I just feel I can’t go on without her. 

I wish I could tell you that it gets easier but in my personal situation and that of how my dad is coping it doesn’t get easier you’re just learning how to live with it. Saying that, those first few weeks/months are the absolute worst and I was having days of literally having to take an hour at a time let alone a day at a time.

I know losing a partner is different to losing a mother but our stories are so similar, I am always here if you want to reach out to someone to talk. Take care x

Hi Sunsetdriver, thank you so much for your reply, firstly I would like to say so sorry for the loss of your Mum. I also lost my Mum and Dad in their very early 60s, and I do know how you are feeling. You lean on your parents all your life and when they are not there you feel like a lost child. After reading your post it has reassured me that my husband was not the only one to have suffered such a quick and terminal cancer. I never knew much about pancreatic cancer before his passing, and now all I seem to do is read about the symptoms and treatments, wishing he could have had more time and options. It was a terrible time watching my husband who enjoyed his food not be able to even hold water down! He never complained about any of his symptoms. As for myself, loosing your partner is incredibly painful, we did everything together and were very much home birds. My son moved out with his girlfriend 2 years ago and I lost my 12 year old dog in April this year, so my home is empty. My family and friends are being very supportive but my husband was my best friend and the only person I really want to be with. It will be a month tomorrow I lost him, yet it feels like yesterday.

Hi Sunsetdriver, thank you so much for your reply, firstly I would like to say so sorry for the loss of your Mum. I also lost my Mum and Dad in their very early 60s, and I do know how you are feeling. You lean on your parents all your life and when they are not there you feel like a lost child. After reading your post it has reassured me that my husband was not the only one to have suffered such a quick and terminal cancer. I never knew much about pancreatic cancer before his passing, and now all I seem to do is read about the symptoms and treatments, wishing he could have had more time and options. It was a terrible time watching my husband who enjoyed his food not be able to even hold water down! He never complained about any of his symptoms. As for myself, loosing your partner is incredibly painful, we did everything together and were very much home birds. My son moved out with his girlfriend 2 years ago and I lost my 12 year old dog in April this year, so my home is empty. My family and friends are being very supportive but my husband was my best friend and the only person I really want to be with. It will be a month tomorrow I lost him, yet it feels like yesterday.