Hi,

I am new to the group and BC. I was diagnosed in July. I had  a partial mastectomy with reconstruction 2 weeks ago. Yesterday I went back for the results only to be told that my margins weren’t all clear and I have to go back in on Friday for another op to remove more tissue. I’m also waiting for results of Oncotype test so decide what my treatment plan is. I haven’t been frightened or fazed by anything so far but yesterday I came away really *** off! My wound has just healed and now they are going to re open it. But hey ho. I’m 48 and like you have always been healthy and am crap at being ill. I do hope you don’t become down beat x

Hi Cazrosie - I am currently being offered a lumpectomy (assume same as partial mastectomy) or a mastectomy + reconstruction for a 3.5cm globular tumour. With the lumpectomy they indicated I would go from a B to an A cupsize so offered me a breast reduction on the good side. Size is important to me so I would rather go for a reconstruction to get symetry and also avoid touching the good breast? Are you happy to tell me about your situation? Did you have the same type of cancer? How much of the breast did they have to take? What type of reconstruction did you have (via liposuction or LIDAP)? Di they do the reconstruction at the same time or later after radiotherapy? I am sorry your margins were not clear - did you go for a further lumpectomy? - they suggested that this may well be the case with me due to the globular cancer type that I have. Were you - are you happy with your results? I do hope all went well with you after this post - best wishes Karen

Hello - I am newly diagnosed and would like to join the Family please. I am 45 years old with a three and a twelve year old. I went from anticipating a treatment plan and op date yesterday morning to the discovery of two further, potentially malignant tumours, all thanfully on the same breast as the original "mother" tumour. It is what it is, but I cant help being more than a little emotional at the moment so taking diazepam since yesterday to take the edge off the present tense. Am very lucky to have a Spaniel, a Husband, a Mum and a Sister who are all rallying around me. Reading your posts here is also very encouraging - I just want the operation behind me. I want a complete mascetomay and want the tumour(s) and surrounding tissue gone and reconstruction all in one. HER2 also positive so will need chemo but to focused on getting the op behind me to think about that at the moment.  

Hi Jennifer,

You are very welcome in our little family, despite it a sad reason you have found us.  You are at the worst stage of your cancer journey just now.It's all in front of you and it's scary, but you have seen from our experiences that it's not the end of the world.  There are other people on this forum who have gone through the journey more than once and they are still going strong and can offer excellent advice to newly diagnosed women. 
I was just so lucky to find Sam and Caroline who were diagnosed around the same time as me and if you read all our conversations, ( I can't imagine you have read them all) you will see the journey from a quite stoic but very humorous perspective.  I have got off extremely lightly, just surgery and hormone tablets. Although you can see I behaved like a stroppy toddler in the early days, not wanting to take the meds and falling out with the oncologist. I wish everyone diagnosed had it as easy as me.  Caroline had rather more in the way of treatment than I, and poor old Sam has gone through everything that could be thrown at her, but you can see from her writings that there is no way it was going to beat her.  It is good that if you have to have extra tumours, they are in the same breast.  I have been the unlucky host to investigations in the other breast.  The first things shown on the ultrasound scan in my spare boob turned out to be DEAD FAT!!!! How's that for a confidence booster?  The next things showed up on my first post surgery mammogram and were calcifications. Apparently some of these can turn cancerous so I had to have a biopsy under mammogram conditions because they don't show up on a scan.  You will read all about that delight if you keep on reading the conversations. Alas, they were so tiny that they escaped from the tweezers or whatever it was the doctor was using to catch them, and after going through the experience twice, I received a letter confirming that the biopsies showed only healthy breast tissue. Yippee!

I wish you the very best for your immediate treatment and your future recovery and will be delighted to hear from you as you go through your treatments, in fact, it's mandatory now you have joined the family, and it'll be nice to know how your lovely supportive family get on, too.

love

Christine xx

PS What's your Spaniel's name?

Hi Jennifer

Christine is, and will always be, much more empathetic and articulate than I could ever hope to be and gave some sound advice (I'd expect nothing less!).

Just to assure you this whole cancer nonsense is very manageable, yes it's **** at times too but those pass and quickly are resigned to memories.

So welcome and I do love that your spaniel is given top billing above family and friends. ..and quite right too!

Sam x

Yeah! Go Sam!!!

Hi Jennifer, I am sad that you find yourself here and we have all been where you are now. We were all diagnosed in 2019 and found each other at the beginning  of our journeys. If you find yourself with (a lot) of time on your hands, you might like to read our thread from the beginning! Sam has suggested we put it in a book :laugh:

I was 48 when diagnosed. I was pre menopausal and have 3 boys - all a lot older than your 2. I found early on that I became very determined to beat this and took it head on. I had lobular breast cancer and had a partial mastectomy with a LICAP flap reconstruction done at the same time as my surgery. I have a scar that looks like I fought a shark but I'm very proud of it!! My cancer was very highly hormonal but HER2-. I needed to have another surgery after my original one as my margins weren't clear. Then 15 rounds of radiotherapy followed by 10 years of medication. I'm currently on tamoxifen and after a few issues, initially (mentally) I'm managing fine now. I've learnt that it's good to have people to share/off load to, who really understand and that worrying about things that are out of your control is a waste of my time/energy and I now know how much we should appreciate each day. 
The 3 of us used to message on a very regular basis but as we move further away from that time, we just check in every now and again with each other. But we are here when/if you need us! Having these 2 ladies to chat to was a massive help to me and hopefully we can offer you the same support.

caroline x

Happy thingy ladies!

Hope all is well with all, am blinkin’ marvellous myself, still loving not working and just wished I could have done it sooner (I couldn’t!).

I still am sort of considering doing something next tax year (ever the accountant!) but think with my exacting needs now (exercise in the morning, lovely cooked lunch at home c/o me, seeing to the poor little kittens every need (!!), etc)I just don’t think I’ll find anything that suits….maybe just do some volunteering some afternoons a week, think I should be able to manage that (!!).

Am all set for Christmas which means jot all really as everyone else does the hard work, I did manage to send the cards early doors (2nd class stamps given unemployment) and some of them have actually arrived which is nothing short of a festive miracle quite frankly. Off round to some pals of Adrians who will put on a blummin’ good feed, Adrian’s been bought some books that I want (ha!) and has bought me a new ordinance survey map (who says romance is dead mm?) that I asked for to plan more bike rides..yay!  Love a map, so old school.

For my (very delayed) birthday I got some new decking the other week (that Adrian knows how to treat a lass!) so it is very enjoyable not slipping on my bum and not having my feet go through the rotten wood, quite a novelty in fact….

I’ve started doing some things on my very extensive London bucket list (stuff I want to do before moving back oop north whilst am close), went to some fab churches/graveyards and loved Leighton House (one for the artist Christine!).  In Jan am booked to go & see opera at the Royal Opera House and also some Shakespeare at the Globe(never been before), makes me sound cultured, as you know that is definitely not the case….think I’ll be more interested in the building than Titus Andronicus.  On my recent London visit found a new fave street that I hadn’t walked before (hate the tubes now so try and walk everywhere)…Fleet Street, such lovely old buildings and the Old Bailey at the end…marvellous!  I do want to go to a trial at the Old Bailey, only problem is you can’t take in drinks and I’m surgically attached to my water bottle…

So many adventures are being had - in between train strikes. Was in last weekend and it was far too close to Christmas and therefore far too busy, thankfully had another Covid shot and flu not too long ago.  Saw the Mousetrap, very good, love a bit of Agatha…70 years run not bad eh?

Anyhoo hope you both are having nearly as much fun as this idiot is and hope your families are looking forward to spending some quality time (eating, fighting…says a lot about my family) with your lovely selves. Enjoy!

Sam X

Hey Sam, 

I was just thinking, this afternoon, that I must check in with you and Caroline for Christmas.  I have been keeping up a rather nice correspondence with two or three other people on here, so I know how they are but I was wondering about you. Obviously you are doing great! I'm so pleased!  I am envious of your culture fest. I'm not particularly cultured but I LOVE opera and ballet.

My daughter (also an accountant) also retired this year, paid off her mortgage and now dreams of a cottage in the sun, preferably in Greece, so she is desperate to get hold of all the documents I acquired for my son's birthday, three years ago, which enabled him very recently to become an Irish citizen, ergo an EU citizen. He has got his citizenship but needs the documents until his passport comes through.  I don't know if her plans are aimed at pre or post my demise. Possibly things should move faster for her, as my son's application was in among thousands of others, all wanting to be free to travel to European countries without restrictions.

You sound to be in great form, Sam. I'm really glad to hear it.  I'm doing great, too.  Been doing a lot of paintings, paid commissions, no less.  I just wish I had the courage to ask for a bit more than it cost me in materials. I've done some unpaid ones, too. My daughter wanted a painting of the late lamented darling Smudge. She also wanted one for her friend, of the friend's late lamented Westie. Then, just as I started working on something I wanted to do, she informs me 'we have t got any paintings of Meg.'  Meg was a Sheltie crossed with a Border Collie who died years before I even thought of taking up painting! So Mummy duly obliged and unknown to my darling daughter, there is a big painting, hidden in my "studio" of Meg, with her toys in her favourite place, my bed. I haven't decided yet, whether I should surprise her with Meg for Christmas or give her Smudge for Christmas and Meg for her birthday two weeks later.  I quite like the idea of giving her Meg first.

I haven't been out in the car since last Friday, the first day of the freeze.  Walking has been bad enough, even with spikes on my shoes. Even Archie has not wanted to walk far.  He doesn't feel cold, obviously with that double coat but I think his little feet must hurt on the ice and snow. It has been so dangerous on our cul de sac I'm not taking any chances, although it's only 150m to the main road where everything has been merrily passing to and fro without a problem. I am still well stocked up with food from my last shop about two weeks ago.  Like you, I am going to be well fed and watered by friends on the big feast day, so I don't have any special goodies still to buy. My son and his lovely partner are getting a food hamper again.  I asked for gift suggestions weeks ago and answer came there none, so a hamper it is.  They won't be here until between Christmas and New Year, so I have got stacks of goodies to call on if I am suddenly attacked (I mean surprised, of course) by unexpected visitors.  A quick dip in the hamper and pop the goodies in a gift bag and voila!

My son has actually excelled himself this year, apart from buying their mansion on the river, a new boat and a new Range Rover, boat and car possibly preloved, he FaceTimed me last week.  I had just received my Christmas present from them, a fabulous selection of artist materials, when he said he had put some money in my account for a birthday present. "To go out and buy myself something nice". I told you before about his (over) protectiveness towards me.  He had been quizzing me, earlier in the week, on why I was wearing warm clothes if I wasn't skimping on my heating, etc.  He had just happened to send me the exact amount that has been quoted for the cost of fuel bills this year!!!.  If truth were told, I was skimping, slightly, following all the suggestions for keeping usage as low as possible without actually suffering because of it. I certainly wasn't cold, with my four layers of warm clothing on, but I feel very self indulgent now, with the central heating on and the fire!

Caroline,  I'm sure we will hear from you soon.  How are the family? How are you? I hope you find yourself in rude health and looking forward to a lovely Christmas.

Well, my lovelies, isn't it great that we are down to catching up occasionally after our adventures of the last three years.  I wish you both everything you could wish for yourselves and your loved ones. Have a wonderful Christmas and another Happy New Year!

Lots of love

Christine and Archie xxx

Hi ladies, 

so lovely to hear from you both and hear how well life is going. I am currently sat on a hotel balcony over looking Honolulu. It's 9pm and still lovely and warm. We are here for my husband's 50th birthday - his choice/he paid. We had a nightmare journey getting here - lost luggage, missed connecting flights, arriving a day later than planned. It is a beautiful place but have to say my mental health hasn't been coping too well with it. My stress and anxiety levels seem pretty high at the mo and for many reasons I didn't want to come this far away from home, so close to Christmas. Had a bit of a breakdown yesterday and ended up in bed at 7pm and slept on and off for 11 hours, in between crying. Not really sure what is going on but I'm on countdown to get home. There have been so many issues since being here with kids/dogs/Christmas/work, it's just completely stressed me out. 
But I know I'm sounding very ungrateful. On a positive side, my niece is out here too at the moment as her boyfriends family all live here. Her mum - my sister in law is also here with us. My niece lives out in the US so we don't get to see her very often and today her boyfriend proposed so that is lovely that we can celebrate with them, in person.

Well, again ladies, so lovely to hear from you both. 3 years survivors! And here's to many more!! I do have to say, in a way it feels like a distant memory these days. I'm better at keeping my worries in check. Life has returned to normal business so i don't really have time to worry! 
So it just leaves me to say - have an amazing Christmas- stay safe and warm. Enjoy the festivities! It will soon be over :wink:

Caroline x

Hi Caroline,

Well, didn't Sam pick exactly the right time to reach out to us? I think your sentence "I'm currently sat on a hotel balcony overlooking Honolulu" wins the prize for generating envy in all who read it in the cold, windy North West of England. I.e. ME!!!  Hawaii is one place I have not been but would love to.  The envy did go down a tad at the nightmare journey you had getting there. Sorry to hear you're feeling a bit fragile, it's a pity that life and its problems doesn't stay on hold so you can enjoy your holiday in one of Earth's nearest places to paradise.  Hopefully the memories you have in the future will just contain the good aspects of your trip, like seeing your niece and being able to celebrate her engagement, not to mention the island's beauty.

Yes, three years down the line.  It does seem like a long time ago, such a lot has happened outside our little cancer driven universe., Three Prime Ministers for one, Covid and all its horrors for another and now the war in Ukraine and possible power cuts to add to our worries. In twenty or so years you will be saying, "OMG those 2020's were a nightmare!  But we did go to Hawaii!" :silly: For:me, the bright side today is the snow seems to be melting!  Yay!!! I am adding to my shopping list on  an hourly basis, because, on Tuesday, I plan to take the covers off the car, hope it will start, and venture out to do some shopping. I am instructed by my daughter to make sure I go out before Wednesday, when the ambulance people are going on strike. Her premise being that we have never had to call an ambulance in our lives, and it would be Sod's law that we would need one on the day there aren't any!  Such a pessimist!

So, despite repeating myself, I wish you all a very merry Christmas and a worry free, Happy New Year!

Now, it's your turn again, Sam, our lovely Caroline sounds like she needs some of your cheerful words now, unless you are as jealous as I am at her being in Honolulu, in which case forget it! :sad:

Lots of love

Christine and Archie xx

Hi ladies, wanted to update you on things going on here. So came back from Hawaii, had lost a little weight - which I was pleasantly surprised about. Thought it was due to the large portions out there which had made me feel less hungry. Christmas was busy and I found it quite stressful - put down to jet lag, being away so near Christmas. Weight loss continued - only slowly but again, probably stress. The tiredness continued, as did the slow weight loss - by now I had lost 8lb in around 5 weeks. I wondered if I could ask my GP for a blood test. Maybe that would show why I was tired/ losing weight. Couldn't get through. So a work colleague suggested I called the breast nurse, if I was worried. Gave them a call, explained that I was probably wasting their time but told them about tiredness, weight loss and she asked if i had also been feeling out of breath - i had! i asked if id be able to have a blood test. She said I needed to come in and they got me an appointment for the next week. Saw the nurse specialist. She did a breast examine and found a couple of lumps. Thinks they maybe fat necrosis so booked me in to have an ultrasound. Listened to my chest and said she wanted me to go straight for a chest X-ray. She also booked me in for a CT scan and blood test. She said 99% of the time, it's nothing and I did feel quite calm about it all. I have had the chest X-ray and blood test. Ultrasound is on Tuesday, CT scan on Thursday. Still steadily losing weight - which to be honest I'm quite liking! I needed to shift around half a stone and had been struggling to shift it for the past 2 years!! 
So I'm in that waiting limbo land again. Most of the time I'm feeling positive and sure there's a none sinister explanation. Other times I am convinced I have cancer in my lung, or my liver or my stomach (damn Dr Google). You were both so good at support when we went through our battles - over 3 years ago, so I felt you'd understand my fears. I have told a few friends and husband about my tests but I think I play it down so not to worry them. Also think they don't understand why I would be worried.  Part of me wishes I'd never called the nurse. Today I was planning my funeral! I have that little voice in my head warning me it's going to be bad and then I think I don't want those results!

Anyway, thank you for reading and allowing me to off load. Hopefully get through next week and then get positive news! 
Caroline xx

Hi ladies, wanted to update you on things going on here. So came back from Hawaii, had lost a little weight - which I was pleasantly surprised about. Thought it was due to the large portions out there which had made me feel less hungry. Christmas was busy and I found it quite stressful - put down to jet lag, being away so near Christmas. Weight loss continued - only slowly but again, probably stress. The tiredness continued, as did the slow weight loss - by now I had lost 8lb in around 5 weeks. I wondered if I could ask my GP for a blood test. Maybe that would show why I was tired/ losing weight. Couldn't get through. So a work colleague suggested I called the breast nurse, if I was worried. Gave them a call, explained that I was probably wasting their time but told them about tiredness, weight loss and she asked if i had also been feeling out of breath - i had! i asked if id be able to have a blood test. She said I needed to come in and they got me an appointment for the next week. Saw the nurse specialist. She did a breast examine and found a couple of lumps. Thinks they maybe fat necrosis so booked me in to have an ultrasound. Listened to my chest and said she wanted me to go straight for a chest X-ray. She also booked me in for a CT scan and blood test. She said 99% of the time, it's nothing and I did feel quite calm about it all. I have had the chest X-ray and blood test. Ultrasound is on Tuesday, CT scan on Thursday. Still steadily losing weight - which to be honest I'm quite liking! I needed to shift around half a stone and had been struggling to shift it for the past 2 years!! 
So I'm in that waiting limbo land again. Most of the time I'm feeling positive and sure there's a none sinister explanation. Other times I am convinced I have cancer in my lung, or my liver or my stomach (damn Dr Google). You were both so good at support when we went through our battles - over 3 years ago, so I felt you'd understand my fears. I have told a few friends and husband about my tests but I think I play it down so not to worry them. Also think they don't understand why I would be worried.  Part of me wishes I'd never called the nurse. Today I was planning my funeral! I have that little voice in my head warning me it's going to be bad and then I think I don't want those results!

Anyway, thank you for reading and allowing me to off load. Hopefully get through next week and then get positive news! 
Caroline xx

Oh Caroline!

What a bummer!  I can imagine exactly how you're feeling! I'm glad you asked the breast nurse, because if it is something that needs tackling, the sooner you get started the better, but I feel for you going through all that waiting and testing and worrying again.  I remember that part more than anything else and it is such a drain on you when you want to be strong enough to face whatever awaits.  
I'm not going to say it's probably nothing because that won't help. All I can say is you have started the ball rolling to get rid of what might or might not be there and that's a good thing. You are stronger than you think and if it is nothing, hooray for the weight loss, and if it is something you will cope and will deal with it in your own way.

I'm rooting for you and keeping everything crossed for a good result.

Please keep us in the loop, and stay positive! 
 

lots of love
 

Christine xx

Caroline

Hi, managed to miss your note about Hawaii…sounds fab but so sorry you were feeling so low, you do have a lot going on so easy for these things to creep up on you.

And now this (hopefully) scare, you really don’t deserve it.  I really hope the results come through speedily and full marks for getting something done about it, all too often (and I have been guilty in the past) we just let things trickle along.

Impressed you’re managing to stay positive - always a good sign I think, its really annoying I find (and I see it in a DIEP facebook group I’m part of) that our minds ‘let’ us assume the worst in many unknown situations…does make me think something must be wrong with my mind as I’ve generally gone into medical situations gung ho!

I really hope all is well and hear lots of stories (on the FB group) about fat necrosis after the recon so my fingers are well and truly crossed for you.

On a lighter note (just can’t help myself) and talking of holidays and stuff have been in full organisation mode, making the most of that big London nearby, my London/south bucket list is quite extensive now.  Visit to the Royal Opera House was interesting (Magic Flute now not in my top 10 operas!  Nice looking place though…), off too the Globe to see Titus Andronicus Monday (don’t like/appreciate Shakespeare but like a new experience - far too ill educated for such matters, this one was my mothers suggestion as lots of savagery…she knows what I like!), saw a fab documentary about Gershwins Rhapsody in Blue over Christmas and had a hankering to hear in real like so am off to the Royal College of Music.  

On the down side I have my very annoying ex-next door neighbour (she's renting out the house now). visiting next weekend, she’s a total pain in the bum but I put up with her to maintain neighbourly relations…she will be dumped big time once I move.  Trying to organise lots to do so I don’t have to talk to her any more than I need to…devious eh?

Am considering starting to do some voluntary work (decided it will be far too challenging to fit any time in for any type of work (!) given I only have a couple of afternoons free each week now that means I don’t lose any exercising/meal time/fannying around time all of which are top priority, obviously….looking at local animal charities.  Did enquire after some dog walking jobs but my (very practical!) two seater car not suitable….all the dog walking places want you to walk many hounds at once, me, I just want one or two pups that I can pick up and return to their houses, not how things seem to work nowadays apparently and really can’t be bothered with all the admin that doing it for myself would entail (insurance, registration etc.).

Enough about me (favourite subject)….really glad you got in for all the tests (full marks to your nursing pal who helped get the ball rolling) and please do let us know how you get on and try to distract yourself from catastrophizing (easier said than done I know).

Will be thinking of you X

PS. Hope your car started Christine!

Hi Sam,

Yes, the car started that day but after the recent snow, it refused to start on a supermarket car park. I had switched the lights on because of rain, but forgot to switch them off when I parked.  If I had parked with another car in front of me I would have seen the reflection but I parked at right angles to all the other cars with my front wheels up against a kerb! After a nice long mooch around the store I came out to find my battery had died!  To cut a very long and tedious story short, eventually one of the many men I asked, did have jump leads and was happy to start my car for me!  Not as horrible an experience as it could have been because I met a lot of nice sympathetic people offering to push start me - problem, automatic gearbox and front wheels up against a curb! 
You might have had a lucky escape from dog walking, it isn't a job for anyone less than strong, hale and hearty!  I struggle sometimes if Archie and Bobbin want to drag me off my feet, and they are only little.

Its nice to hear you are becoming a bit of a culture vulture!  Opera is my favourite music, 

Caroline, good luck for tomorrow x

love

Christine xx