Oh Jules forgive my post on my site to you .....I am so sorry not to have known of your hubbies departure.  You know from the support you have given me how well I understand your current situation and my heart goes out to you.  My site tells of my joirney through this uncharted place you find yourself in.  It is difficult but you will come through.

All my thoughts and a big virtual hug

Ian x

Hi Ian

Just lovely to see your name appear on my thread and suspect its just as hard for you to post but I really appreciate the message.  It was a long three years for hubby and I take much comfort in the fact that he is now free from the clutches of his disease which took his happiness away.  I am surrounded by the love of my family and friends (and the ongoing support of virtuality buddies) and now, like you, my life must be lived to the best of my ability. Early days still but so many memories to cherish and share with others - a few late nights of 'story-telling' along the way.

Sending hugs and best wishes and hope all is well with you and Julie in your new life.  Jules x

GMorning Brian

yup we are the same - no snow at all!! In fact a fine morning - so its no good for your grandson to come here for snow men!! Lets hope he gets the all clear!! Two years ago our grandson had to go to the hospital - he is okay now - but he bowel problems brought on by gluten. Wierd or what??

Well, have a great day and enjoy every minute!

I am off to work = we have a new boss starting soon that sounds like Captain Mainwaring = yuk!!

Cheers 

Steven

I love your posts BTW

Hi Steve,

Thanks for the reply and thought about my grandson. Talking about gluten, My son is very allergic to any gluten based products but Luckily both Asda and Sainsburys now keep a good range of gluten free products. Even if someone gives him a knife that has been in contact with gluten based products, he has big trouble with his bowels so can understand your grandsons problems all to well. Hope your day is not too tireing and that you and your wife have a good weekend, best wishes and kind thought bieng sent your way, Brian.

Hi Steven

The back fence has been a disgrace for some time but other things understandably were coming first.  Now I need to get things in order.  Day to day stuff does not go away!! 

Upcoming appointments (and the waiting for them) always bring stress along with them and I do hope all will be well. 

New set of forms to fill in, this time for Mum's care needs.  Should be easier this time (went through it all just over a year ago so at least I know what I am facing).

Hope you and Anne have a peaceful weekend. Jules x

well, still having issues with internet (have already  replied to your post but it disappeared so am having another go!). Am delighted to report that new washing machine working a treat and very very quiet! Awaiting arrival of 2nd Broadband engineer (before 6 apparently though they were several hours late the last time (so far no extra payments demanded though it could be me asking for  a refund in the future!!!). The call centre for the supplier is doing my head in as I still do not have an answer to the real problem (no access to account details because password not known (hubby was not one to share!!!) and there answer is to send another engineer to check the line(which has already been reported as fine!!!).  To add insult to injury they have asked me to fill out an on line survey as regards their service - have put it on the back-burner for fear or 'letting rip inappropriately' ha ha.

Hope your new furniture arrives as planned and am sure the Hospice will be delighted with your donations.  Seems like an early Spring cleaning bug has begun.  My retail therapy has extended now to a new doormat (no jokes here please;) and a new bin which will fit underneath the sink area(thus freeing up floor space in my very minute kitchen).

Fox has just wandered into the garden and polished off bird food so now have some disgruntled feathered friends flying to and fro wondering where their bread has gone.

Spent several hours photo copying this morning in readiness for next Legal appointment and then another hour 'shredding' hubby's old work material (sensitive but the company did not want it returned so am following instructions!!).  Doing a little something every day is the only way I am finding.

Fingers crossed will be out this evening and then tomorrow will see builder back and providing materials delivered could have new back wall by the days end.  Actually beginning to think I am going back to work for a rest (though now have forms through to continue dealing with Mum's care home fees) but also see GP on Tuesday to she can see how I am doing (hoping this will be the last of these as the stress caused by another GP (out of hours attached to the surgery) not ticking a vital box has meant delays.  Still we are moving ahead again now.

Hope you and MRs G have a peaceful weekend in your newly furnished lounge. Take care  Jules x

Hi Brian

Well BT Engineer has been and so far so good!! Needed new wall socket as wiring in old one was causing intereference on the line which was causing 'gaps' in signal.  No financial outlay required so another job sorted out. New washing machine in use (not as technophobic as I thought) so fingers crossed. Its so quiet I had to check it was on!!!

No snow here at all, just drizzle this morning but a lovely bright afternoon.  Plenty of forms now to fill in for Mum but once again at least things are in motion and I am chipping away at them.(plus I have had practice two years ago - hopefully a better outcome this time).

Am shortly going out for my usual Friday night social and as my friend had a mini win last week things are looking up.

Hope you and MrsB have a lovely relaxing weekend and you are not currently wearing lots of owl stickers.  Take care  Jules x

Hi Jules,

Yes the grief rollercoaster is certainly a rough ride and I am keeping you in my thoughts.  Glad to read that legalities are getting finalised, although still fail to see how such mistakes could be made.  I hope you get some luck with your internet.  Many years ago I had a connection problem that the provider just failed to sort out despite my many calls and engineers booked; so in the end I changed supplier - perhaps that may be an option for you if all else fails.  Good luck and take care of yourself.  Hope x

Evening Hope

Just returned from my Friday night social outing (still poor but relaxed).  Engineer has sorted connection problems by replacing  wall socket and getting rid of interference on the line.  It took him all of half hour and thankfully was 'free'. Had a productive day indoors (poor electronic shredder was working overtime and the printer was also kept busy copying documents ready for Probate representative next week (will be going again soon to do the same for all the documents social services finance guys need in regards Mum'shome care costs.  Never a dull moment!

Have daughter and grandchildren round in the morning as well as a friend popping in for coffee (builder now coming Sunday to put up new wall) and then its back to work on Monday which will help me get back into 'normal' routine.

Am currently being a bit naughty with a large hot chocolate steaming beside me (well coffee might keep me awake.)

Hope everything is okay with you and sending peaceful thoughts for the weekend.  Enjoy. Jules x

Hi Jules,

I am glad to read that an engineer has managed to sort out your internet connection problems.  The issues you have had with the company who are supposed to be looking after one of their customers is unfortunately all too common these days.  For them to then ask you to fill out a customer satisfaction survey is just classic!  I would love to read what you put.

My furniture delivery went - shall I say - not according to plan.  It was arranged for Friday morning so by 10am I was sat in a living room with electrical equipment strewn accross the carpet and boxes full of files and photo albums and all the stuff you accumulate over the years.  It seems that because two of the four pieces of furniture weren't in stock they decided not to deliver any of it.  And to add to that they also decided not to tell me.  After speaking to them I got them to deliver the tv unit and coffee table that they did have which arrived four hours later with a broken shelf.  The other pieces will arrive, apparently on Tuesday.  I contacted Claire who also has a great deal of experience in dealing with stupidity and she replied with a statement that read, "if only stupidity was painful!" 

Rant over and now it's time to get ready for a shopping trip.

Take care.

Garf. xx

Hi Garf

Sorry to hear you too have had problems surrounding your furniture delivery and do hope both the broken piece and the rest of your order is in good order when Tuesday comes - why does everything have to take two attempts!!.

Well the weather put paid to my new wall getting started yesterday so have provisional date for next weekend (he is fitting it in, inbetween his day job (son in law's friend so am happy to wait) and the weather needs to be 'reasonable'.

Beautiful here this morning and though am watching Murray(amazing match so far) whilst waiting for a phone call, will be off out as soon as I can for a good walk to blow the cobwebs away.

Enjoy the rest of the day and hope return to work will not be too 'annoying'.  Take care. Jules x

Good morning Jules,

Hope you have not got too cold on your Sunday morning walk. Although it's bright and sunny here in Sussex, the wind is very cold. So pleased you have got your internet problem sorted. Funily enough, some years ago I had  exactly the same problem, even the same supplier who had been insisting for weeks there wasnt a problem. Am now with another Provider.

Just wanted to wish you well for your return to work tommorow, another step on your journey. I had all this written out once and dont know what happened, if I pressed the wrong button or what but I lost it all much to my disgust. I am glad thing are progressing with regard to your mothers situation and best luck with the form filling, something I hate doing. I find some things they write on the forms are unclear and could have several different meanings so I will be thinking of you.

Take care and I hope you have a relaxing and peaceful day after your walk. Best wishes being sent your way, Brian.

Good morning Jules,

Hope you have not got too cold on your Sunday morning walk. Although it's bright and sunny here in Sussex, the wind is very cold. So pleased you have got your internet problem sorted. Funily enough, some years ago I had  exactly the same problem, even the same supplier who had been insisting for weeks there wasnt a problem. Am now with another Provider.

Just wanted to wish you well for your return to work tommorow, another step on your journey. I had all this written out once and dont know what happened, if I pressed the wrong button or what but I lost it all much to my disgust. I am glad thing are progressing with regard to your mothers situation and best luck with the form filling, something I hate doing. I find some things they write on the forms are unclear and could have several different meanings so I will be thinking of you.

Take care and I hope you have a relaxing and peaceful day after your walk. Best wishes being sent your way, Brian.

Hir Brian

Had a long walk yesterday morning visiting my usual Farmer's Market (have a new cheese to try - goats cheese with garlic and nettles!!) and did a bit of shopping before having a French Manicure as a little treat!(my excuse is that this will protect my nails upon return to work ha ha).

First day back was fine; everyone as expected very supportive (protective) and not too busy so able to 'find my feet' with new promotions etc.  My friend who does not work Mondays met me afterwards and we went to try a new teashop (named The Wonky Teapot).  It was their first day and though a bit at sixes and sevens still enjoyed our natter over tea and toasted teacake. Everything felt strangely surreal but am sure once back into usual routine it will be like it was before and its another hurdle breached so to speak.

Will visit Mum tomorrow morning after my GP appointment and then seeing 'Mr Probate' in the early evening when hopefully he will take all the notes/paperwork he requires to take things forward (not exactly a restful day off but handy to be able to fit things in when not working).

Take care and all the very best to you and MRs B.  Kind thoughts Jules x

Thanks Kathy, all went okay and its good to be back into some sort of weekly routine again and dealing with 'normal' daily stuff.  Pretty chilly today but dry and having enjoyed snack with my friend after work am now cocooned in front of the fire with yet another cuppa and trying to decide on what to have for dinner (treated myself to some 'osterich' (apologies for any veggies out there) and fish when I went shopping over the weekend so spoilt for choice.

Hope all is well with you and the family and its not too hot to be enjoying the outside space (my daughter very envious that you have koalas close by (they got engaged whilst on holiday in Australia (staying with friends) and she did the usual tourist thing of holding one and has been smitten ever since!

Take care and thanks again for your support.  Big hugs  Jules

Hi Jules,

So pleased your first day back went okay. With regard to the cheese with nettles in it, hope you didnt get "stung" if you'll parden the pun. Mrs B like's the five counties cheese but as allergic to dairy products cant have it any more. A year of two ago Mrs B and I were out for a drive and we came across this shop named The Wonkey Donkey". It was a second hand shop and instead of a rocking horse, it had a rocking donkey in the window which I suppose was a bit wonkey lol. Mrs B and I couldnt stop laughing for ages.

Pleased the staff at work are looking after you. Sounds like you have another busy day tommorow and wish you well with Mr Probate. Brother in law has now finished his chemo and has also seen his specialist who seems very pleased with his progress. He has again told him that allthough they cant cure the cancer, many men in his situation live for several years which has cheered everyone up. Dont know if I mentioned it but my psa has only gone up very slighly and is still very low so very pleased with this. At my cancer meeting last Monday who should be sitting near me but my oncologist who remembered me and was also pleased to hear my psa result.

I have just heard from my daughter in law that my youngest grandson will have to have an operation on his tummy. After leaving the hospital today, she asked him how he felt about the op and he replied "I'm looking forward to it". She was surprised and asked him why and he replied, "Becuase it will make me feel better". It brought a lump to my throaght, he is so brave. These childrem put us to shame at times.

Anyway have rambled enough for today, take care Jules, all the best to you and your family, Brian.

Hi Brian

Really pleased to read that both your PSA is still looking good (there must be a little sigh of relief each time you get your results) and that your Brother in Law has benefitted from the chemo and am sure he is feeling a lot better now - long may he stay 'steady'.

Your youngest grandson is . I reckon. a chip of the old block and think we could learn a lot by following the way they think (though I suppose we did when we were that age)-.  His is a 'Super-Trouper' and when the op happens do hope it helps make him far more comfortable.

Have woken to a light dusting of snow which makes the garden look pretty but means digging out the 'heavy trainers' for the walk to the docs this morning (then to Mums). Robins and blue *** visited very early (an extra helping of shredded suet awaits) and for some mad reason took a dip in the bird bath brrrrr.  Stay warm my forum buddy and hope you and Mrs B have a restful day.  Hugs  Jules x

Hi Kathy

Had problems getting access on the site for a few attempts - despite signing in still kept asking for me to sign in. Still here now.

Am sure it is wonderful to be close to the wetlands and having regular birdsong (even if a bit too noisy on occasion).  I am lucky enough to have lots of garden birds currently visiting the feeding stations in my garden and gave the blackbirds (re-visiting pair) and the robins an extra treat of chopped raisins and suet as it was such a chilly start. This afternoon had 8 goldfinches arguing over the niger seed and bluetits on the suet block.  Do not seem to fazed by the visiting felines either.

Visit to Mum as a little later today as I had GP appointment first ( she is having me attend once a month for post bereavement check ups - so far so good apparently!!). Spent an hour with Mum before being told I could go as she wanted to go into early lunch  but it was good to have a smile or two and to hear that she was happy with new social worker (he must have used some charm!!).  Hope by the end of this week to have completed all the financial forms to send to Social Services t o help with assessment and then it will be the wait and see game ( a repeat of 2013 procedure but praying for a better outcome this time round).

Do hope your solicitor bucks his ideas up as you really do not need the stress related to this side of your affairs and accuracy is so essential in legal affairs.  Am hoping that the choice we have made with regards to the company  that  I am appointing (representative calling this evening to formally begin the process) will help take this side of things off my hands and have a stack of papers ready for him to collect. Thankfully his last comment to me was that as the Will was so simple and I am only beneficiary they do not expect it to be complicated but its a 'due process' so will not be crossing any bridges just yet ha ha.

You are so right that getting back to usual routines of life helps though am finding that if things go a little haywire I do not cope as well as I used to (maybe in time eh!). Take care my Scottish Aussie virtual friend. Sending peaceful thoughts and hugs.  Jules x

Well done Jules - for your good news. Things are slowly getting better and I am not surprised your garden is full of birds - they all love you!! I am glad your mum is settling in well and enjoying what the place has to offer.

My mum keeps being put into hospital and we have told the home to only do this in dire emergency. She finds it all so confusing and disruptive

all the very best to yoy

Steven xx

Hi Steven

My Mum has only had to be taken to the hospital twice in the two years she has been in residential care thankfully.  However she is not in a nursing home so it is always on the advice of their attending GP  when this happens. It is always so confusing and upsetting when their routines are changed.  Unfortunately with Mum's bi polar mental disorder all she wishes for most of the time is for the end to come sooner rather than later (there is no dementia and she reaches the ripe old age of 89 in May). We as the family can only do our best to keep her safe.

I cannot believe that a month has passed since hubby was set free from his illness.  Still feel a little like I am on autopilot as we cope day to day but having handed over the 'probate' to the professionals yesterday my mind is a little freer from the legalities and the grieiving process continues at its own pace.

Have babysitting the grandchildren to look forward to on Friday (its my turn to have a 'sleepover') as daughter and son in law are at a wedding reception (my son is best man) for good friends and it will be lovely to have something to celebrate.

Hope you and Anne have a peaceful day.  Hugs  Jules