Oh Jules forgive my post on my site to you .....I am so sorry not to have known of your hubbies departure.  You know from the support you have given me how well I understand your current situation and my heart goes out to you.  My site tells of my joirney through this uncharted place you find yourself in.  It is difficult but you will come through.

All my thoughts and a big virtual hug

Ian x

Hi Ian

Just lovely to see your name appear on my thread and suspect its just as hard for you to post but I really appreciate the message.  It was a long three years for hubby and I take much comfort in the fact that he is now free from the clutches of his disease which took his happiness away.  I am surrounded by the love of my family and friends (and the ongoing support of virtuality buddies) and now, like you, my life must be lived to the best of my ability. Early days still but so many memories to cherish and share with others - a few late nights of 'story-telling' along the way.

Sending hugs and best wishes and hope all is well with you and Julie in your new life.  Jules x

Morning sueanne

Glad you were treated to Sunday Roast (always enjoy it but especially good if someone else doing the cooking!!).

Yesterday was a up and down day.  I got into town for a couple of hours and treated my garden birds to some new feed/feeders. After lunch I watched as hubby's car was driven away with mixed emotions (had not expected it to affect me quite so much) - I don't drive and it has been sold(neither children wanted it).  Still, another little step taken. I let the children know only to get a message back from my son telling me that he had just had his car 'totalled' by a taxi and was being taken home by my son in law -  you could not write a story like mine at present!!! Thankfully he suffered just a sore shoulder (assume from seatbelt).This followed the car being broken into whilst he was in France!  As my daughter says surely things can only get better!!!

Off to see solicitors later so need to get my 'business head on' but am calling on a friend afterwards for a cuppa and catch up.  Hard to believe that I go back to work in a week and beginning to feel nervous about that step too (must try and stop over-thinking everything and take it as it comes!).

Gloomy and damp this morning but promised brighter weather later. Hope you have a good stroll with Rusty.  Take care  Jules x 

Good morning Jules,

Just thought I would message you while I wait for the plastic delivery that will then keep me busy for the next day or two. 

Sorry to hear that your son has had such a bad time with his car lately and it is hardly surprising that his problems added to the sale of Hubby's car has hit you emotionally which is no doubt easily done right now. As you said to Steven, just take things little by little and day by day.

Sorry but I wasn't explaining myself very well earlier but my catch up with Claire will just be a phone call.  There is nothing I would like more than to see her but that is still a way off yet. In the meantime Hannah will be getting herself ready to go to hospital today nut there will be no results for a week afterwards.  Thanks very much for the suggestion for family to see a PALS representative and I will pass it on to my sister later on.

Good luck with the solicitors later but at least a visit to catch up with a friend is something to look forward to.

Love and hugs Jules.

Garf. xx

Morning Jo

Have two feeding stations for the garden birds, one at end of the garden and one close to the house and regularly see robins, blue/great ***, pair of blackbirds, wren (when very cold) and the inevitable pigeons. Goldfinches (sometimes up to 10 of them) love the niger seed.  The bird table itself has seen better days (over the years birds have 'nicked' the thatch roof for nesting material ha ha) and in due course am planning on getting a new one. Have plenty of feline visitors to the garden (none of them mine!!) plus a fox from time to time but only occasional 'mishap' - its nature!!

Not sure why my washing machine has created such wide ranging conversation but giving me something to smile about has to be a good thing.  Waiting for 'phone lines' to open as having problems with internet access and need to contact provider (technology great when it works though!!).

Hope you have a peaceful day.  Take care forum friend.  Hugs  Jules x

Hello Jules Ive just got back from Asda and packed shopping away I bought my son a cake its his birthday so I think we will have a piece at lunchtime  .He hinted at needing a mirror for his lounge so homebase closed down a few weeks ago ,and I was lucky enough to get a nice one reduced from £75 down to £15 so was lucky ..Hope he approves .Oh Jules it must have been so hard watching hubbies car being taken ,and how much more bad luck can you have its sods law isnt it like your daughter said things can only get better ,its so rotten you just have to laugh Jules ,and  have a good SCREAM let it all out  .Realy Jules I think you are doing so well ,and hope keeping in touch with your forum friends ,helps you through this difficult time ...I send big hugs ...SueanneXx

Coo = you have a good eye for a bargain Sueanne = well done with your mirror!! Yea Jules - it must feel wierd seeing the old car go = like a new chapter opening: still you won't miss the bills - I have my MOT tomorrow - I wonder how much that will cost? It will be good when you get back to work and you will be busy and time will go quickly. I find this at work. Thank goodness I have my job = I would go nuts stuck at home. Mum is stable and I will see her tomorrow - a lady at work told me her dad was the same and lasted three weeks. Perhaps we will be lucky - she is very frail but the staff have got some fluids down her. 

Anne threw the wooly jumper out today - she said it was a mothy old thing. I loved it - but she was right = so my investment in knicker elastic was too little too late !! ( I put it round the waist as the jumper had stretched so much it was like a mini skirt!!) 

Take care brave lady and here is a hug for you xxx

Steven

Good morning Sueanne

What a great bargain the mirror was and I do hope your son was pleased with his gift and his birthday cake. It will be my daughter's birthday on Valentines Day and my son's 30th a week later, their first without Dad and another hurdle to jump. Coping together is the only way at the moment and,yes, having my forum buddies to chat with has always been a great support personally. Had a chat with the solicitors re probate yesterday and will make a decision by the weekend as to who to 'appoint' on the family's behalf.  This will at least relieve me of much of the officialdom! 

I popped in to see my Manager at work yesterday to confirm I will return to work on Monday.  Think it will do me good to get back into some sort of normal routine. Having said that because I was 'holding' holiday for the 'just in case' scenario, I now have another 7 days off to fit in before end of March . Because I only work a 3 day week, this will give me a full two weeks break so have booked half term week which will mean I can treat the grandchildren to a day out (or two) and probably have the eldest for a sleepover, thus giving my daughter a bit of a break too and then have the next week (to relax and hopefully do some 'Spring gardening'.

Lovely here in Middlesex at present and will be seeing Mum (with new social worker) this afternoon for her  re-assessment to begin. Should also get a call from the Coroner's Office so plenty to keep the brain ticking!!

Have a peaceful day.  Hugs  Jules x

Hi Steven,

A shame you have lost your comfy jumper but perhaps the elastic can be put to another use. Hope your find your Mum comfortable when you visit and it is reassuring to know she is well looked after.  I will also see my Mum this afternoon and as mentioned to Sueanne, we have a meeting with her new social worker as the re-assessment of her care needs begins (this is because she can no longer afford to self fund and a year ago they wanted her moved to 'care within the community').  I a not sure what will be the outcome but once again, its a step by step process.

Hope you and Anne are keeping well and send peaceful hugs your way. Jules x

Grrrrrrrrrrrrr, just wrote a reply to have the internet go down mid flow (been trying to get hold of customer services for my Broadband Service)  which is being a bit naughty at the moment.   Think I may need a new router as it constantly needs re-booting.  So frustrating.

Hope Hannah had the scan she needed and they can find out what is causing so much pain. Fingers crossed that the medication is keeping her comfortable in the meantime.

Hope the busman's holiday will leave you a bit of time for some relaxation  but at least you do not have the stress of travelling for a week!  Am thinking it will be a bit strange getting back to my work routine but do really need that structure back in my life.  That being said, I have apparently still 7 days leave (with my part time hours that equals two weeks off!!) which I need to take before end of March (new holiday year starts 1st April).  Will put dates forward on Monday (Manager says sooner the better for his planning) and a hoping for half ter week so I can spend time with grandchildren and also give my daughter a break. She has hospital appointment for the eldest at Great Ormond Street tomorrow so I am having fun time with 15mth old Zack (as well as taking delivery of new washer dryer) - not sure where I will find the time for working ha ha.

Enjoy the rest of your week.  Peaceful hugs send your way and hope your catch up with Claire brings a smile or two.  Jules x

Hello Jules ,how lovely that your daughters birthday is on Valentines Day ,and what a lovely Valentines gift that must have been for you both when she was born so romantic ..One of my friends ,when we went to school had her birthday on the same day too ..I know how hard it is writing out cards and just putting your name ,Its 2 years in Feb since I lost Tony and I still find it hard ,but it must get easier in time I hope ,its still very early days for you Jules and you must like Beryl has said take your time and take  baby steps.Jules hope getting back to work will help ,and you will have the support of your work mates too ,and with a holiday in a short while will be something to look forward to .And Jules I hope you have a good visit with the new social worker and things turn out in yours and Mums favour ..Rusty and I have been for our walk and we met his girlfriend in the park Jessie another greyhound she is black and Rusty is Fawn they love a romp together .The weather is dry and 8.6 degs at the moment but drizzle then rain is forcast for later ..Take care Jules Big Hugs ..Sueanne Xx

Hi Jules,

Just popped in to say I hope you're OK.  Trust you will get your internet problems sorted - very frustrating, the internet is something we have all come to rely on these days.  Best wishes for your return to work next week, sometimes it is good to get back to routine but remember to take time out for yourself whenever you need.  Take care.  Hope x

Hi Jules,

Just popped in to say I hope you're OK.  Trust you will get your internet problems sorted - very frustrating, the internet is something we have all come to rely on these days.  Best wishes for your return to work next week, sometimes it is good to get back to routine but remember to take time out for yourself whenever you need.  Take care.  Hope x

Thanks for your post Hope.  You know only too well that grieving plots it's own course and in some ways there is no 'controlling' it.  As yet we are still awaiting closure on the legalities surrounding registration of death (GP/Registrar having made errors in the paperwork!) so am a bit in limbo which really does  not help  me or the children just now. Everyday stuff has to carry on and life in general is pretty busy which everyone tells me is good (but I would enjoy some 'quiet time'in my head if that makes any sense.

Internet problems are intermittant but nonetheless frustrating as so much of the 'old paperwork' is now done online.  Engineer due out this morning so fingers crossed they find a problem they can fix (£65 fee if they dont!!!!!).  With washer/dryer due for delivery too plus the happy task of having Zack to stay I am in for one varied day ahead .

Hope all is well with you and the family. No doubt the boys keeping busy with their studies and you are adjusting still. Look after yourself. Sending kind thoughts and hugs. Jules x

Good morning Jules,

Sorry have been absent for a day or so but have been so busy. Monday I was out to my three hour cancer meeting to do with the new Macmillan Horizon Centre being built in Brighton. As my car was problematical I went by bus so was out for nearly six hours. But well worth while. I also found out my PSA has only risen slightly during the past six months. It still only 0.89 which is very good. Funny thing was when I was at the cancer meeting I met my oncologist who recognised me and asked how I was, so was able to update him.

Yesterday got my car fixed; it was a sensor that was the problem. Cost me a fair bit but needed to get it fixed. Did more walking than I have done for ages and when I finally got home felt absolutely done in. So today I am playing catch up and taking things easy.

Sounds like you have a lot going on today, with visit by internet people, washing machien delivery, and little Zack to have fun with as well. I was sorry to hear you got upset when the car was taken away but can well understand it for it's another little bit of the past you shared with your hubby and probably have happy memories of trips out you had together in the car. I hope your meeting went well yesterday with social services regarding your mother.

While walking around the shops yesterday killing time while they ran diagnostics on my car, I found a lovely owl cushion which was the last one they had so bought it for Mrs B who was very pleased with it. My nut shop was closed as they are moving round the corner so wasnt able to buy any nuts.

Well I have rambled enough for today. Take care Jules, Best wishes and kind thoughts being sent your way, Brian.

Hi Kathy

Washer dryer in and ready to go (when I have read the blurb that goes with it!!).  Interenet has temporary repar until new router with different engineer comes out (the joys of switching from hubby's name has lead to password issues like you would not believe but at least I have access at present.).  Both appointments booked for am, both arrived after 2 pm but as I had Zack to keep me amused no real problem.

Hope to have appointed probate solicitors by end of week but still plenty of stuff to keep me amused (not sure where I will find the time to return to work but am going back on Monday anyhow).  Glad you are also beginning to get somewhere with the legal side of things too.  I am actually Executor for hubby but plan on passing the buck so to speak as really do not need the added stress of doing all the running around.  With hopefully all the necessary boxes ticked now, we are able to move forward a little more.

The little ones certainly never fail to bring smiles and Zack has been as good as gold today and is now tucked up in bed and I am planning my evening meal in peace (hope I have not spoken too soon ha ha).

Take care forum friend.Hugs across the miles  Jules

Hi Brian

No apologies needed as you certainly carrying out good work with regards to cancer charity and it was nice that you saw your own oncologist and were able to tell him your good PSA news.  Am sure you and he were delighted with latest results.

Mrs B is turning into an owl sanctuary for 'all things related' but bet she was chufffed to bits with the new cushion.  I am planning on re-adopting Cobweb in memory of hubby in April so our 'adoption' will continue.

At the local market a couple of weeks ago they had a display of owls from local sanctuary and was happy to donate to such a good cause.  They are beautiful to look at and bring enormous pleasure to their carers as well as those in the wild.

Well feeling pretty jaded now so will get away to a meal and maybe an early night.

Kind thoughts and peace sent back to you and MrsB. Jules

 Sorry my PC crashed so out of touch will now get back in touch take care kind regards george .

Hi George

Technology is great when its working.  Hope your PC stays fixed for you.  I too have been having issues with the internet, one engineer down, one to go!!

Do hope your doctor has been able to help with your pain and that you are more comfortable. I expect Ria is keeping you company along the way. Take good care.  Jules x

Good morning Jules,

Sorry I haven't been around much this last week. We have been empty with the cottages but busy with all the catch up things we have to do when we are empty. Now this morning we have 6 inches of snow and my husband is outside clearing it away in order to get the car out in the hopes of getting into town for his gp appointment and one or two comestubles. 

I hope you are well and managing to fit in the reflecting moments for yourself within the company of visits from friends and family. So glad you got yourself a new washing machine and hope its working well. At least if you get snow like we have you don't have to worry about going out with the laundry. One day we might be able to pm again and I look forward to that oppotunity. 

Sending lots of hugs 

Annabel. xx

Hi Annabel

Lovely to see your name crop up and hope your husband got the car out and managed his appointment and necessary supplies for the 'snow in'.  None of the white stuff in our neck of the woods so far, though was bitterly cold (windy too) when we took Zack out this morning.

Have not yet had the washing machine on (still need to read the instructions and will wait for a 'full load' !!). Another telephone engineer (trying to sort out intermittent Broadband - grrr) due tomorrow p.m, so will try and catch up with more paperwork(photocopying documents) whilst I am waiting.  Have now appointed legal representatives to deal with Probate (will be glad to hand it all over to professionals) and am back to work on Monday  so some sort of normal can be found. This coming weekend is, hopefully, to be a relaxing one (do possibly have builder coming to secure back of garden (broken fencing to become a wall) and then can rest a little easier security wise.

How are you keeping?  Hope little Ava doing well and your daughter enjoying being back at work.  Expect you will be getting cottages filled up again soon with half term hols and Easter just around the corner.  I am joining daughter and family for five days away in Dorset (holiday caravan park with all the necessary entertainment for the kiddies (big and small ha ha) beginning Easter Monday (we return just in time for son in law's birthday). Take care my virtual buddy. Peaceful thoughts and hugs coming your way. Jules x

I am glad you are busy and you got the legal stuff out of your hair, Well, no snow down here either - but its is nippy cold. Thinking about gardens already? Good luck on the back fence. There will be more strong winds coming along I am sure. We are okay - skittery about next week - but in my heart I think it will okay. Mum still plods along. I did a little video for us all of her singing. I am simply tired out - but tired out!!!

take care xx steven