In a bad place.

First of all I want to say thank you Brian for your kind words on the thread that Ghost posted. It is nice to be thought about and after those brief posts I decided to follow my own advice and write about the bad place I feel I am in right now.

As some will know I have lost many friends and loved ones to cancer over the years with last year being the worst.  It was difficult watching my Dad get sicker but I feel I was actually dealing with things relatively well and even after he died in May I have coped about as well as anyone could expect although I still do mourn him because I miss him so much.  Unfortunately my Aunty died last November and it feels like her passing was the straw that broke the camel's back.  Ever since I feel like a fundementally different person!

I don't just have less patience I am actually just plain angry a lot of the time.  I look at things differently in a way that nothing seems all that important and I find it hard to put in the full effort to work and things in general that I have always given in the past.  My mind is constantly full of thoughts and feelings that will not go away no matter how I try to reason with them or sort them out in my head. I just feel different and what scares me the most is that because of my state of mind I feel differently about the the one person who has given me such great support through everything - my wife. She is such a wonderful person and has done nothing to deserve ending up with me not being the same person she married.  My Mum said a couple of years ago that "grief does funny things to people" and she was speaking from experience although I didn't fully appreciate what she meant at the time.

I have tried to concentrate on the positives in my life, of which there are many but it seems to make no difference.  Even when I read what difficult times others are going through, Beaker83 for instance, I feel guilty for wallowing in my own selfish thoughts when others are are so much worse off but even then I just revert back to my own petty problems and wrap myself back up in self pity.

Hopefully I may feel a little better for writing this and let me just thank you for reading.

Take care everyone.

Garf. 

Parents
  • Hi Garf

    You had a pretty rough time of it last year and you still are on the forums offering people valuable advice even me at one time.

    Sometimes I look at my husband and he appears to be coping well after losing his father last year but Garf I tend to feel sorry for him all the time.  Don't know if that sounds right or not.

    He can sit with his family and joke and laugh about his father while at times when I think of mine I start to get emotional.

    I can fully understand having less patience and you know the old saying we always hurt the one we love the most and I think we have all done that.

    My husband never talks to me about how he feels maybe this will change later in the year as his father's anniversary approaches.

    You are still grieving Garf and there is no set time for grief to subside and it can affect everyone different.

    I just seem to feel sorry for everyone I come into contact with and then sometimes I feel so guilty.  It is strange sometimes I can't fully explain it myself.

    Take care of yourself Garf.  Maybe a wee break for you and your wife might help.

    Mickied

Reply
  • Hi Garf

    You had a pretty rough time of it last year and you still are on the forums offering people valuable advice even me at one time.

    Sometimes I look at my husband and he appears to be coping well after losing his father last year but Garf I tend to feel sorry for him all the time.  Don't know if that sounds right or not.

    He can sit with his family and joke and laugh about his father while at times when I think of mine I start to get emotional.

    I can fully understand having less patience and you know the old saying we always hurt the one we love the most and I think we have all done that.

    My husband never talks to me about how he feels maybe this will change later in the year as his father's anniversary approaches.

    You are still grieving Garf and there is no set time for grief to subside and it can affect everyone different.

    I just seem to feel sorry for everyone I come into contact with and then sometimes I feel so guilty.  It is strange sometimes I can't fully explain it myself.

    Take care of yourself Garf.  Maybe a wee break for you and your wife might help.

    Mickied

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