Dear Karen,

I was rereading my thread from last year as it is the middle of the night and I can't sleep once again. It has been just over one year since my beloved Caroline please and I continue to think of her constantly. I Miss her terribly. I saw again that you lost your beautiful daughter not that long ago and was wondering how you are doing? It is such a profoundly devastating experience to lose a child that we need all the support we can get. I hope you are managing as well as can be expected. Would love to hear more about your daughter. 

Sincerely 

Kelley 

Oh thank you Dave for your kind words! It does help to remember she knew i loved her to the moon and back. You are correct! I told her multiple times a day that i loved her. She knew that I loved and fought fiercely for her. I rarely left her side the two weeks in hospice.I moved into her home prior to that. I wonder if I had taken her to a specialist in Europe if we could have found a treatment that might have saved her. Im simply gutted with sadness and depression.

and she knew it..always think that way and it will ease your suffering..you did everything you could physically and mentally do as a parent..there’s no more you could of done but be by her side and comforting her like you did..listen cancer is a serious serious illness..taking her abroad personally I think would of made her suffer more with travelling and more than likely still not getting it cured..once it spreads to organs etc  it’s pretty much game over..your daughter will be looking down more than likely saying mum stop beating yaself up you was here for me and that she so needed that and for you to now try and be happy..Stay strong,carry on have the mindset that your living for your daughter too

I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my mum to oesophageal cancer last year which isn’t the same but I can relate to your feelings of anxiety. You get a panic that you don’t be able to cope without them in your life but you will. You are stronger than you know. When I’m down I try to think about what my mum would say, which would be to pick myself up and get on with it. Your daughter wouldn’t want you to be unhappy. It will get tough but try and remember the good times. Sending hugs xxx

Hello

Firstly, I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter. No words can make this better for you 

This disease does not discriminate and is a monster. Your daughter sounds wonderful and no mother should go through watching their child die - I’m sorry.

It is still so recent and must be so hard for you - I know I’m a stranger but I am sending sympathy to you. 

I lost my my brother to cancer nearly 2 years ago, to watch him die was horrendous and to watch my mother lose her son was just as bad. I now have to watch my mother battle this cruel disease as she has stage 4 kidney cancer which has gone to her lungs and bones - life is so so so unfair. I’m losing my mum and my heart is breaking 

I hope we can help each other somehow through this awful time

Rebecca, thank You for your kind words. It breaks my heart to hear of what you are going through now. And what you’re  Beautiful mother is suffering now. That disease is the devil reincarnate. There is no other way to explain it. The treatments are enough to kill anyone. And many go through that and don’t survive anyway just like my Caroline  and your beloved brother. Not only is life unfair it is often profoundly terrible. I sometimes have trouble finding the good compared to the bad. When I hear lovely people such as yourself I am encouraged. I will keep your family in my prayers and pray for the best.

Hey there, 

I read your post and just wanted to send you some warm hugs and love. I have daughters and cannot imagine how you feel but I hope you feel the warmth of my message. 

Xxxxxx

Thank you so much for your kind and thoughtful words Migu. My Caroline has been in heaven for one year, 14 days. I don’t miss her any less than before. I’ve don’t believe the hole in my heart will ever heal. I will just adapt to living with it. I have absolutely no choice other than ending my life which as a Christian I will not do. I ask people to love their families, mend their fences, and put people over work if possible. My husband was killed by a drunk driver 10 years ago age 51, and my Mom died from cancer also 6 months after Caroline last July 14th. You don’t realize how fast and frequent catastrophic event ms can occur. God bless you

I have never posted on one of these sites before - it is 9 long years since my adored daughter died from cancer- sorry but the pain is palpable still

As a parents you feel the loss and guilt that you could not protect your child.

The way you stood and looked as some healthcare professionals being unkind and unprofessional- how you want to tell them.

The grief, the sorrow at not seeing them grow up, marry have kids etc is tortuous.

The way you become the person everyone pities - your  many friends become few.

I do not cope i carry on - try to keep busy, go to gym walk etc

Carry on you have no choice - talk to others who have an understanding

lots of hugs