Dear Kelley,

I lost my 29 year old daughter on 18th December to a rare aggressive salivary gland cancer! I'm struggling so much and came across your story of loss which struck me so hard in its similarities .

My beautiful daughter was so unbelievably fit and healthy but this aggressive disease took her piece by piece. She underwent surgery initially to remive the tumour and get lower jaw and was beginning to get her life back after 12months when a scan showed a spread to her lungs and spine.

Like you we tried everything we could as there seemed to be so little infornation out there. Like your daughter our anazing girl struggled so much with pain when it was discovered she was not absorbing oral meds properly and needed a syringe driver for her last 6 weeks.

The pain of watching someone you love go through such agony is unbearable, you feel powerless to help when as a mother it is what you have always dine.

I notice your post was from the start of 2018 so I dearly hope you have found some peace and that better, happier memories fill your thoughts.

Much love 

Katen

Dear Kelley,

I lost my 29 year old daughter on 18th December to a rare aggressive salivary gland cancer! I'm struggling so much and came across your story of loss which struck me so hard in its similarities .

My beautiful daughter was so unbelievably fit and healthy but this aggressive disease took her piece by piece. She underwent surgery initially to remive the tumour and get lower jaw and was beginning to get her life back after 12months when a scan showed a spread to her lungs and spine.

Like you we tried everything we could as there seemed to be so little infornation out there. Like your daughter our anazing girl struggled so much with pain when it was discovered she was not absorbing oral meds properly and needed a syringe driver for her last 6 weeks.

The pain of watching someone you love go through such agony is unbearable, you feel powerless to help when as a mother it is what you have always dine.

I notice your post was from the start of 2018 so I dearly hope you have found some peace and that better, happier memories fill your thoughts.

Much love 

Katen

Dear Karen,

I am so sorry to hear about your daughter - another young life taken too early . I offer my sincere sympathy on your loss. You must be totally devastated by this. I have lost both parents and several relatives and close friends to cancer. I have also had 2 bouts of breast cancer myself in the past 9 years. It is a cruel disease.

I lost my young brother to an accident when he was only 28 andI know only too well the impact that this had on all my family, but particularly my mum.This is just not the natural run of things. You never expect your children to go before you.

Watching a loved one suffer with pain is heartbreaking. and you will tend to recall these more difficult moments at the end to start with. However, I hope that, with the passage of time, you will be able to recall fonder memories.

I do hope that you have a good support network from relatives and friends.

Please remember that we are always here for you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Dear Karen,

It makes me nauseous just thinking about where you are in this god-forsaken journey through hell on earth. This i will say though, I don’t have terrible breakdowns nearly as much as I did the 3-6 months after my Caroline passed. I’m still reading books on the loss of a child which help and i am in therapy. This Christmas (a few days ago) was not fun. The emptiness was huge. My Mother died six months to the day after my daughter died. 2018 is a terrible year. 

I so understand what you are feeling. It is beyond the human brain to comprehend such a terrible loss. The misery is made worse by the witnessing of the horrifying suffering our children went through. Of which there was little we could do. I took Caroline to the Mayo Clinic, Tijuana and Santa Barbara. Ca for alternative medicine. Her cancer was insanely aggressive. . Sounds similar to your precious daughter. I hate it when people say ‘well she’s not in pain anymore ‘ .. I say ‘no! she’s Dead!’ I’m the one in pain!! and she’s never coming back!! People mean well but... ugh. Take one day at a time. Do whatever you can to pamper yourself. Get plenty of rest. Spend time with family and friends. I cried and cried the first 6-8 months. The anniversary of Caroline’s death is January 15th. I still can’t believe she’s gone. 

Hello Karen. I've been reading your post . We lost our 27 year old daughter on 20th of October 2018 . She was diagnosed with lymphoma in July 2017 . She was back and forth to the doctors but they dismissed her time after time . She has a beautiful little girl that we are now raising. She was a school teacher and did lots of charity stuff . Our three year old granddaughter misses her mummy so much and as for me . I think I'm loosing my mind I keep thinking of how I can bring her back . The pain of losing her my best friend my go person when I needed a ear is now gone . I keep replying all the horrible pain she went through and the worst for me was when they put her on a driver and she couldn't move or speak I knew she could still hear . The doctors and nurses came in to the room talking about the end of life like she was a old lady like it was just one of those things. I will never forgive them as the tears ran down her face . How do we ever get this pain to stop . We miss her so much I also lost my mum to cancer thirteen months before my husband has had it twice . What's life all about ? Our kind and gentle children are not just a number because they are grown up . Doctors may do things differently if it was their children unable to move and listening to how long they have . I'm so distressed and will never come to terms with it . I just loved her so so much . Just needed to connect with a mum who knows how I feel . Take care and I hope you are navigating this horrendously awful time with plenty of love from all . Thanks for letting me rant x

Dear Karen,

I was rereading my thread from last year as it is the middle of the night and I can't sleep once again. It has been just over one year since my beloved Caroline please and I continue to think of her constantly. I Miss her terribly. I saw again that you lost your beautiful daughter not that long ago and was wondering how you are doing? It is such a profoundly devastating experience to lose a child that we need all the support we can get. I hope you are managing as well as can be expected. Would love to hear more about your daughter. 

Sincerely 

Kelley