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Today I can't cope

Richard_john
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I was diagnosed in January with non Hodgson lymphoma.  Its stage 4.

I don't know how long i have and I don't want to know. We have got to the end of a summer that I wasn't sure I would live through. The winter is coming. I hate winter.

My mind just won't leave the question of 'was that my last one' alone. All i want to do is cry.

I have decided to keep my illness secret from my friends. My family know but I can't talk to them. The desolation on their faces is too much.

I feel alone hopeless and empty. I honestly don't know if this is a life I want to hold onto. It just hurts so much. 

Parents
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    So very sorry to hear your news and how you are feeling.

    Would you consider taking anti depressants?  I know they won't change anything but they may take away some of the sharpness of the pain you are feeling?

    Could you think of the things you used to really enjoy doing in the past and do them again?  You might have to force yourself to do them initially but you might find that gets easier the more times you do them .

    I definitely findi getting things off my chest by talking things through has helped me - either via friends and family or more formal counselling.

    Exercise / listening to whatever music has inspired or moved you in the past / jigsaws are some of the other things that immediately spring to mind which could help..

    Hope that's useful.  Once again, so sorry about your situation.  Keep in touch with us all 

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  • Offline

    So very sorry to hear your news and how you are feeling.

    Would you consider taking anti depressants?  I know they won't change anything but they may take away some of the sharpness of the pain you are feeling?

    Could you think of the things you used to really enjoy doing in the past and do them again?  You might have to force yourself to do them initially but you might find that gets easier the more times you do them .

    I definitely findi getting things off my chest by talking things through has helped me - either via friends and family or more formal counselling.

    Exercise / listening to whatever music has inspired or moved you in the past / jigsaws are some of the other things that immediately spring to mind which could help..

    Hope that's useful.  Once again, so sorry about your situation.  Keep in touch with us all 

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