I cannot accept my dad has gone

Hi, my dad passed away 13 days ago, I know it is still raw as it wasn't long ago but I cannot accept he has gone and don't think I ever will. I cannot grasp the thought that he will never be part of my life or my children's life ever, and never be there to help me with anything. How can it be possible that I will never see or hear him again! He was 58 but 40 in the head and heart. He was diagnosed with lung cancer on the 19th feb and within 2 months he was gone. How is it possible to happen so quick, he never got the chance to have his treatment. I know death is part of life but I never thought I would lose my beloved dad now and not this quick, I hadn't got my head around the fact he was poorly before being hit with this blow. I have never experienced pain like this before. I can't carry on with my life and I am angry the world keeps going, when I want the time to just stop. Part of me died with my dad and I feel like I wish I went with him. My dad was so brave and such a strong person who loved life. I have his funeral in 3 days and the thought of it makes me feel sick, I don't want to say goodbye, as I know he is down the chapel of rest and still here, the funeral is final and the thought hurts so bad. 
I had a lovely chat with dad the day before he passed before his oxygen levels dropped and I held his hand when he took his last breath, I can't believe this is happening and that he no longer exists. I have memories, photos, and his belongings but I want him back so badly it is killing me. 
 

please tell me how you cope? 

Parents
  • I lost my amazing sweet mum in April on 9th from corona virus and incurable pneumonia. Yes she had cancer but it didn't kill her this rapidly - she was treated abysmally by the hospital.

     

    my life will never be the same anymore. A part of me left when mum died and although I don't wish to die, I would give anything for just even one more hour with her. I miss her so much sometimes it leaves me breathless I have panic attacks now when I think of the awful way she died. 58 is so young for your dad to pass my mum was 72 and it still feels to young.. I am dreaming about mum every single night she just doesn't leave my head...this is a truly sinister and awful year.

     

    i just wanted to let you know that I am going through the same pain. It is real pain.. it's raw. It hurts so much.

     

Reply
  • I lost my amazing sweet mum in April on 9th from corona virus and incurable pneumonia. Yes she had cancer but it didn't kill her this rapidly - she was treated abysmally by the hospital.

     

    my life will never be the same anymore. A part of me left when mum died and although I don't wish to die, I would give anything for just even one more hour with her. I miss her so much sometimes it leaves me breathless I have panic attacks now when I think of the awful way she died. 58 is so young for your dad to pass my mum was 72 and it still feels to young.. I am dreaming about mum every single night she just doesn't leave my head...this is a truly sinister and awful year.

     

    i just wanted to let you know that I am going through the same pain. It is real pain.. it's raw. It hurts so much.

     

Children
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