Hi Natasha1987,

I am so sorry for your loss; my beautiful mum passed away September 2018 from blood cancer and although eveyones grief is individual, I have some understanding of how you are feeling.

It is difficult to grasp or even comprehend that we won't see our parents again, how can that be, they were always there for all our lives, it just doesn't seem real. At times, silly as it sounds, it's like you can almost feel your heart breaking. The pain is unbearable and you cry...everywhere and in front of complete strangers sometimes, you can't control it. I was angry too, I went back to work after about 2 weeks, surprised nobody reported me, I was so abrupt!

You ask how you can cope, I wish I could give you an easy answer. I am further along in my journey and I think about my mum every day, sometimes the feelings come in waves and you can't control the tears. But it does become easier, you feel less angry and I would always say, talk to your close family about how you feel, they will have the greatest understanding.I also had some counselling, not sure how much it helped but I needed to talk about my mum and despite what I have mentioned above, I found it impossible to have any long conversation with my dad, just too upsetting....but that has got better.

They say time is a great healer, I think it is in respect of learning to live and accept it but I said to my husband, part of me will forever be broken, but that's ok, with the love we had,it couldn't be any other way.

It was nice to read when you said you had a lovely conversation with your dad and held his hand.

I hope your dads funeral service goes well, I never physically said goodbye to my mum, I held her hand and said " it's ok mum, I'll see you again", I couldnt say the word.

I know how hard it is, I'm so sorry, thinking of you.

Linda

Hi Natasha1987,

I am so sorry for your loss; my beautiful mum passed away September 2018 from blood cancer and although eveyones grief is individual, I have some understanding of how you are feeling.

It is difficult to grasp or even comprehend that we won't see our parents again, how can that be, they were always there for all our lives, it just doesn't seem real. At times, silly as it sounds, it's like you can almost feel your heart breaking. The pain is unbearable and you cry...everywhere and in front of complete strangers sometimes, you can't control it. I was angry too, I went back to work after about 2 weeks, surprised nobody reported me, I was so abrupt!

You ask how you can cope, I wish I could give you an easy answer. I am further along in my journey and I think about my mum every day, sometimes the feelings come in waves and you can't control the tears. But it does become easier, you feel less angry and I would always say, talk to your close family about how you feel, they will have the greatest understanding.I also had some counselling, not sure how much it helped but I needed to talk about my mum and despite what I have mentioned above, I found it impossible to have any long conversation with my dad, just too upsetting....but that has got better.

They say time is a great healer, I think it is in respect of learning to live and accept it but I said to my husband, part of me will forever be broken, but that's ok, with the love we had,it couldn't be any other way.

It was nice to read when you said you had a lovely conversation with your dad and held his hand.

I hope your dads funeral service goes well, I never physically said goodbye to my mum, I held her hand and said " it's ok mum, I'll see you again", I couldnt say the word.

I know how hard it is, I'm so sorry, thinking of you.

Linda

Hi Linda

sorry to hear about your mum. 
 

the pain is unbearable, the first week went by in a blur and I cried so hard I was screaming the same time. I have never experienced a feeling like it. A part of me died when he did and I will never be the same person again. 
I am going through so many emotions, I feel angry with everyone and the world, and I feel completely lost, my father was very protective and I was his two eyes and I can't believe he isn't he nomore. 
I have grieved for family members but someone so close to me like me dad has broken me, I haven't got a great bond with my mother and I can't talk to her about my feelings, and that's what I am going to miss about my dad, being able to turn to him for help, having a laugh and how much we are alike. People tell me it gets easier but I can't see how it will. It has been such a shock I don't know how to handle it. 

Thank you for your kind words and replying xx