Im sorry to hear of your loss, especially after a long illness, Im guessing it is still a shock even though you both knew where things were heading, I havent been through losing someone to cancer, instead my mum had a lengthy decline with what we found out off her death ceritificate was vascular dementia, shed had a massive stroke soon after knee replacement, the hospital,ln family view, mismanaged her care very badly, and although we knew she was declining, it was still a shock, but I went into practicalities mode, and almost shut down emotionally, and am still dealing with it now. With dad it was similar, a fall, broken arm. delirium set in, kidney failure, a slow decline to an inevitable end.  Its hard whenever death comes, and the numbness that hits can take us by surprise, and perhaps the disengagement you describe from what is being endlessly talked about by media and other people is a way of defending yourself, its too much, too demanding, and you really dont need that on top of your understandable grief. I hope you have sources of support, I hope you can gently let yourself reach a point where you can start to "feel" again, if thats whats going on.  For any of you who are grieving, please be gentle on yourselves, take things as steadily as you are able, and dont be afraid to say " No" if something is too much for you to take on.  Its 2 years since Dad died, I cleared the family home almost alone until the last bits, sold it, dealt with the estate, its bloody hard and emotionally draining, And I still get flak because I couldnt bring myself to chuck or sell a lot of family heirlooms and things like their photo albums. Take it at your own pace, you may not feel like it, but I bet youve got this.

All best, x

Thanks, everyone! Poland19, I'm shocked that anyone would give you grief for not wanting to get rid of family heirlooms. People are so strange sometimes. I totally agree that there's no point in trying to force yourself to a point with grief, it all has to come in its own time and there's no "right" time for any of it. 

Thanks, everyone! Poland19, I'm shocked that anyone would give you grief for not wanting to get rid of family heirlooms. People are so strange sometimes. I totally agree that there's no point in trying to force yourself to a point with grief, it all has to come in its own time and there's no "right" time for any of it.