I lost my dad 3 days ago. I'm 32, reading your post mirrored everything I feel. We have a family business, when he was diagnosed a year ago, my world came crashing down, and I had to suddenly run this very hard business, all on my own. I did it at the expense of my own mental health, it ruined me as a person to the point I couldn't continue and had to say I couldn't do it. But we had a plan to sell it, he had so much stuff in the workshop. We didn't get to sort it out as he's been so ill. 
I thought I was prepared for the worst with what could happen, he died with me my brother his mum and wife cuddling him in our family home. 
Ever since the pain has been too much, he meant everything to me the same as your father did, and things your saying I feel exactly the same, I don't like hearing people say " he's not suffering now" etc. my brother seems to be taking it better than me. I wake up crying my eyes out, I honestly feel like I need to go and find him, I'm so sad and hurt I feel I want to die and be with him. 
how are you feeling now some time has passed ? Do things get better 

I lost my dad 3 days ago. I'm 32, reading your post mirrored everything I feel. We have a family business, when he was diagnosed a year ago, my world came crashing down, and I had to suddenly run this very hard business, all on my own. I did it at the expense of my own mental health, it ruined me as a person to the point I couldn't continue and had to say I couldn't do it. But we had a plan to sell it, he had so much stuff in the workshop. We didn't get to sort it out as he's been so ill. 
I thought I was prepared for the worst with what could happen, he died with me my brother his mum and wife cuddling him in our family home. 
Ever since the pain has been too much, he meant everything to me the same as your father did, and things your saying I feel exactly the same, I don't like hearing people say " he's not suffering now" etc. my brother seems to be taking it better than me. I wake up crying my eyes out, I honestly feel like I need to go and find him, I'm so sad and hurt I feel I want to die and be with him. 
how are you feeling now some time has passed ? Do things get better 

Goodness me I am so sorry about your loss. 
My mind endlessly threw out to me "I want to die" I think what it meant was that actually it wanted everything to stop , reverse and make things how they where.

I am not going to lie , I am now 18 months living without Dad, I go to the cemetery and sob or go and chat and don't know how I'm going to be until I'm there. 
I love my Dad , I miss him and I still cannot comprehend he has gone.  BUT it does get manageable , I was ill , it started six months after he went , I felt terrible then got shingles , bloods showed very low b12 and d , autoimmune deficiency , I truly believe the shock did it , I'm on treatment now.

when I returned to work I went on a bereavement and loss course , when we split in groups I'd recounted this to a young lady who also lost her dad and she said , what you have said tells me you had a good relationship with your dad and I feel like I'm sorry I didn't have the same. I've hung onto that. 
last Friday I was in sobs , memories coming back of final weeks , I should of said this , done that , there's no answer but , I think we are very very lucky to be saying we miss our dads so much - there's nothing can ease it but time dilutes the severe pain. 
hold on tight and if you need to talk we are here xxxx 

I want to add I really felt like I wanted to be in the grave with him , it's a normal thought your feelings are manic , it's just overload , it will ease , it's going to be different but you will be ok. Please talk to us if you need xxx 

I lost my Dad on the 27th. I dont know where to turn either. Im surviving by remembering him and looking at photos. Ive been so lucky to have my Dad and forever grateful for the upbringing he gave me. Im trying to think of it as 'we all die' it just happens to some of us sooner and I will see him again one day when Im an old lady on my deathbed. My Dad died with me and my mum holding his hands. I understand how traumatic it is when you watch your favorite person take their last breath. He wanted so much for myself, sister, mum and grandson to be happy and carry on. I am trying my best but its tough. Totally understand what you are going through. 

I was 31, I lost my dad 2 weeks before I had his first grandchild, 

I am here to tell you I promise you it gets better and as above, maneagable. Even with a new baby I wanted to be with him and had all the same thoughts, there is no other way to describe it, the pain is a physical pain in your heart and the emotions are a rollercoaster. 
 

I am 3 years on, I had the baby, I went ahead with the big white wedding we had pulled forward for my dad and I am about to have my second. Some days are hard, but there was a turning point when the tears stopped every day and the thoughts became happy ones, promise. 

Thank you for the encouraging message x

Hi Tom,

Wanted to say how very sorry I am for the loss if your Dad. My Mum passed in May this year after a traumatic week in hospital, the last day of her life has given me images that I wish I could erase. I watched her take her last breath  whilst holding her hand and telling her over and over what a wonderful Mum she was and how proud I was of her. I am literally devastated. We lived and worked together for 10 years and the last 8 years I have been living with her and been her carer for the last 2 years. We ere best friends. Everything about our lifes were together, trips, holidays, mealtimes, even just sitting in the garden. Mum was the one I talked to about everything in life and her to me. How can we replace this? I can't. I am seriously struggling so I understand your feelings.

I hope we can all be there for each other with support because sharing on this forum can be a life saver. Take care and we are here if you need to talk.

Jane