Hope it's ok to respond to this comment. I think yours is the first where the death is so recent. My amazing Dad passed away just   6 days ago. My mother left him over ten years ago, and I chose to stay with him (after just leaving uni) and lost contact with my mum, so I'm a Dad's girl through and through and I just don't know how to get through this.

I have a two year old daughter and amazing as my partner is, I want to run from my responsibilities and revert to being a child having Dad look after me. I'm also really scared of one day not crying. This week I've been waking at about 2am and going downstairs but this morning I woke and didn't start crying first thing and I felt guilty. My Dad would hate that I'm crying and would be telling me to pull myself together for the sake of my little girl, but I can't right now. 
 

im getting married next year, and I don't know how to do it without my dad walking me down the aisle. I wish I showed him my wedding dress but that would have been admitting I'm scared he'd maybe not be there. 
 

im so sorry as it was not cancer that my dad passed from, but heart failure and with covid etc we didn't realise he even had it until about 5 weeks before he went. He moved in with us for 2 weeks then was in hospital for 2...I never expected him to not come out. I was looking at houses with an additional bedroom! 
 

just after advice from people about coping in the very early stages. I have a brother but he doesn't live nearby, so all the technicalities of funeral arrangements are on me (and my partner) and I'm scared that if I get caught up in that, I'll not give myself time to think of him as he should be thought of. X
 

It's very very early. Take each day as it comes. Your going through everything we all have, guilt, inability to think ahead and why would you , it's traumatic, concentrate on now that's all you can do xxx 

Hi, I know exactly what you are going through. I've been pre grieving for so many years and now the time has finally come and my hero passed away yesterday,  nothing could have prepared me for what I feel now. Its been an horrendous last 6 weeks, watching your strong amazing dad slowly go. Feel like I've had my heart ripped out and in constant agony which nothing can help to alleviate. Can't bear this pain, life is too cruel.  X

I'm sorry to hear you lost your Dad , as you say it's horrendous and shocking. I could not believe it. I'm now at 16 months gone and there is not a day something is thrown at me by my brain with why, what if'sand feeling sick about it. Looking back it was obvious what was happening but I guess to cope you keep fighting. 
try to take care of yourself now it's a never ending journey xxx 

I understand, my dad was in hospital for less than a week.  The doctor turned up with end of life care  forms for us to sign but he had just died.  I am coming up to 3 year anniversary and the guilt is physically painful of that last week as most of his last hour was in with doctor asking us to sign forms and not with him. I was so exhausted and confused I wasn't able to do more at the time or take it all in.  We love them so much don't we we aren't prepared for this xxx

I lost my dad 3 days ago. I'm 32, reading your post mirrored everything I feel. We have a family business, when he was diagnosed a year ago, my world came crashing down, and I had to suddenly run this very hard business, all on my own. I did it at the expense of my own mental health, it ruined me as a person to the point I couldn't continue and had to say I couldn't do it. But we had a plan to sell it, he had so much stuff in the workshop. We didn't get to sort it out as he's been so ill. 
I thought I was prepared for the worst with what could happen, he died with me my brother his mum and wife cuddling him in our family home. 
Ever since the pain has been too much, he meant everything to me the same as your father did, and things your saying I feel exactly the same, I don't like hearing people say " he's not suffering now" etc. my brother seems to be taking it better than me. I wake up crying my eyes out, I honestly feel like I need to go and find him, I'm so sad and hurt I feel I want to die and be with him. 
how are you feeling now some time has passed ? Do things get better 

Goodness me I am so sorry about your loss. 
My mind endlessly threw out to me "I want to die" I think what it meant was that actually it wanted everything to stop , reverse and make things how they where.

I am not going to lie , I am now 18 months living without Dad, I go to the cemetery and sob or go and chat and don't know how I'm going to be until I'm there. 
I love my Dad , I miss him and I still cannot comprehend he has gone.  BUT it does get manageable , I was ill , it started six months after he went , I felt terrible then got shingles , bloods showed very low b12 and d , autoimmune deficiency , I truly believe the shock did it , I'm on treatment now.

when I returned to work I went on a bereavement and loss course , when we split in groups I'd recounted this to a young lady who also lost her dad and she said , what you have said tells me you had a good relationship with your dad and I feel like I'm sorry I didn't have the same. I've hung onto that. 
last Friday I was in sobs , memories coming back of final weeks , I should of said this , done that , there's no answer but , I think we are very very lucky to be saying we miss our dads so much - there's nothing can ease it but time dilutes the severe pain. 
hold on tight and if you need to talk we are here xxxx 

I want to add I really felt like I wanted to be in the grave with him , it's a normal thought your feelings are manic , it's just overload , it will ease , it's going to be different but you will be ok. Please talk to us if you need xxx 

I lost my Dad on the 27th. I dont know where to turn either. Im surviving by remembering him and looking at photos. Ive been so lucky to have my Dad and forever grateful for the upbringing he gave me. Im trying to think of it as 'we all die' it just happens to some of us sooner and I will see him again one day when Im an old lady on my deathbed. My Dad died with me and my mum holding his hands. I understand how traumatic it is when you watch your favorite person take their last breath. He wanted so much for myself, sister, mum and grandson to be happy and carry on. I am trying my best but its tough. Totally understand what you are going through.