I lost my Dad in late August so nearly 3 months ago. He was diagnosed just after Christmas with bowel cancer and, up until the week before he was admitted to a hospice, we thought he was doing really well and making progress. The last week of his life my mum & I were able to spend every day with him but I often feel guilty that I could/should have been there more. I'm an only child & a daddy's girl and I often felt/feel like my Dad was the only person who ever really understood me. Mum used to say I was like a carbon copy of him. 

The last week of his life was surreal. He was in the hospice for exactly a week and each day he had less energy, slept more until eventually he died in his sleep. I was the last person he spoke to. Mum was out of the room and he told me he thought he was pathetic. That's the last thing he ever said. That haunts me.

He was so strong. Clever, the smartest man I have ever known. Funny. He was my best friend and now he's gone, and the last thing I heard him say was "I'm so pathetic" and all I could say was "you're not pathetic, you're ill. It's okay"

I feel so guilty all the time that he died feeling that way.

I too, feel panic when I think of all he went through in those last days. I just don't know how to accept that he's gone. I can't even remember the last time I was able to hug him. 

I lost my Dad in late August so nearly 3 months ago. He was diagnosed just after Christmas with bowel cancer and, up until the week before he was admitted to a hospice, we thought he was doing really well and making progress. The last week of his life my mum & I were able to spend every day with him but I often feel guilty that I could/should have been there more. I'm an only child & a daddy's girl and I often felt/feel like my Dad was the only person who ever really understood me. Mum used to say I was like a carbon copy of him. 

The last week of his life was surreal. He was in the hospice for exactly a week and each day he had less energy, slept more until eventually he died in his sleep. I was the last person he spoke to. Mum was out of the room and he told me he thought he was pathetic. That's the last thing he ever said. That haunts me.

He was so strong. Clever, the smartest man I have ever known. Funny. He was my best friend and now he's gone, and the last thing I heard him say was "I'm so pathetic" and all I could say was "you're not pathetic, you're ill. It's okay"

I feel so guilty all the time that he died feeling that way.

I too, feel panic when I think of all he went through in those last days. I just don't know how to accept that he's gone. I can't even remember the last time I was able to hug him. 

I understand, my dad was in hospital for less than a week.  The doctor turned up with end of life care  forms for us to sign but he had just died.  I am coming up to 3 year anniversary and the guilt is physically painful of that last week as most of his last hour was in with doctor asking us to sign forms and not with him. I was so exhausted and confused I wasn't able to do more at the time or take it all in.  We love them so much don't we we aren't prepared for this xxx