That’s exactly how I feel now. But it’s taken me a year to get to this point. At first you go through shock, sadness, grief (worse),then you realise you are doing your mum a disservice and you owe it to her not to be sad and to be a reflection of her and how she lived her life before she became ill.

xxx

Bless ur heart u really are going through it. Whilst my mum was still alive I cherished every moment with her after her diagnosis.  I wanted her to fulfill everything she wanted to do. We laughed at memories, and cried from pain and heart ache. My mums been gone 2 years this July, and I'm still heart broken now. Just let her know how important she is to u and that u say everything u  always wanted to.. I was lucky that my mum was my best friend and  I told her everything. I personally dont think u get used to the pain, I think u just learn to live with it.....I still cry and miss her so so badly, my heart aches with pain, but my children and I can laugh at the things we all did with each other....

Try and be strong hun, at this moment in time ur mum needs u. If shes any thing like my mum then she would have been there for u always, now its ur turn.

Xxxxx

Hi Natisha 

Firstly, I wanted to say I’m really sorry to hear about your Mum 

My Mum died on the 27 April 2006 of lung cancer, so I can totally relate to how raw you feel right now.  There will be so many varied emotions you will experience, especially as it’s so recent.  If you can, try and talk about your mum and all the lovely memories you have, well as much as much as you feel able to. It may be a bit too soon but it really could help you open up your emotions rather than bottling them inside? 

I talk to my husband about my mum all the time! 

Perhaps talk to your mum too? No harm in it ? Sounds odd... but it can help (honest )   

I know it’s an old cliche, but honestly, TIME is a healer and you WILL get through this... I promise xx 

I lost my mum yesterday morning to bone and lung cancer too.  I also lost my dad 16 months ago to pancreatic and liver cancer.  When my dad died mum and all of us were strong.  Losing mum too now is unbearable.  We got each other to lean on when dad died.  With my mum I card for her in the month she got diagnosed.  I had no idea she only had a month to live and she gradually grew weaker until she cd not get out of bed.  Then had to watch her die.

It just goes through my mind if I had got to doctor sooner, if I could just have said more or not got annoyed.

I have a huge hole in me and feel so lost without her, I don't know what to do with myself.  

Hi Wendy

Are you feeling a bit better now ? After a couple of months ? Silly question i suppose,

I lost my precious mum in april 2014 she had Mesathelioma (Asbestosis) She lasted 6 weeks after diagnosis, a horible death as all cancers are !

I was very close to mum, After 5 years though it does not feel as bad as you will be feeling at the moment, Believe me i felt as bad as you and everyone else here

I think im trying to say it will get better for you as time goes on, I think about mum every single day, always say "morning mum, love you" and "night mum,love you" I have never missed a day saying that !

But where you think of your mum all the time every day, I dont do that now, i do every day but not all the time if you get me ,

Hope this helps a little x

This is exactly how I feel. Every day is a struggle and I am really trying. Feel so lonely. Its been 6 weeks for me now. Can I ask how you are doing now have you laughed at something yet or started looking forward to things.

It's now coming up to 12 weeks since mum grew her wings and still I find it all to much at times ,like steleeuk I always say a few words yo mum each day mainly when I look at her picture and tell mum I love her, there's times I've almost had a full on conversation but had a laugh about it at same time Nd told mum how the days been and my new goals, it's kinda strange as I say things I would not normally have talked about but it also gives me a sense of closure but I feel mum is still around and that's helped me so much, yes the tears still flow if I'm listening to s certain music track or reminiscing about the past times we had together, I'm now pushing harder than ever to live out my own needs and dreams , goals and it truly works for me and life is so much more worth it now days. I push on each day and I never forget and mum is happy knowing I'm the way I am and moving forward I guess it also helps mum to move forward and do good up there and help others just as she always did. So yeah stay strong , it takes time but it helps when your on the same page of understanding to be happy is great for you both as that's what mums always strive towards for us. Kind regards and keep smiling.. 

Marko..x

I promise you, your not losing your mind, I often have these feeling but st the same time I found myself in a state of depression and after I pushed myself to get out the house and surround myself with others, which was difficult, life has started to slowly find its way back to normality, it does take time and slowly time does help the healing process, but you still need to look after yourself and take care of you. It's all part of pulling through and if that means with the help of others and pulling together then so be it.... stay strong.

Exactly how I feel about my mum, right down to not crying , that would break my mum seeing that also. You were also very lucky to have a great mum.