I' sorry I haven' replied sooner. It' just been hard to reply as my emoions are all over the place.

I' sorry for your loss too.

Still struggle to get motivated to do anything.

I don' like being around people. And prefer to stay around my house and garden.

I cried so much the other day because I wanted to call my mum so bad.

X

Hi

This is my first time here. I’m really struggling. My mum died last July. She had fought cancer for ten years and we thought she was doing well. Then she started to struggle with her sight and they realised it had moved to her brain, The end was horrible. I can’t get it out of my head. I held her hand. I’m on my own. My daughter is 

rightly getting on with her life. But I’m lying here in the dark feeling so very low and not knowing how to stop the pain. I can’t think what the point is any more. 

X

It’s so so hard. But, we must accept that all of us will die. But, losing my mum is the hardest thing ever. I’m a social worker and have to deal with loss every day but, nothing compares to this. X

So sorry to hear that you are having a hard time after losing your Mum.  I lost mine a month ago and know exactly how you feel.... lost doesn’t even describe it.... you have to be strong, your Mum would want you to be z

A month is no time at all. My heart goes out to you. You’re absolutely right - I think mum would want me to be strong. I just don’t think I realised how much she underpinned everything. Someone else put something about feeling they’d lost their moorings and that’s exactly how I feel. Like I’m just floating. Existing. Not living. 

I tnoyght I was a strong woman. Clearly I’m not x

i lost my mum nine weeks ago and its killing me , the day she died i think she new although she was so confused she told me, and they came in at 3.45 on the tuesday put her a syringe driver on 20 mins later she was gone but its haunting me beacause i didnt know right at that second she was dying right then i just saw her pupils were very large and i panicked,beacause she was so sedated i didnt know how could i have not known, its killing me and i didnt hold her tell her i loved her i freaked out , im so sorry mummy .

No matter how strong you are or think you are nothing prepares you for losing your Mum...... 

Hold those happy memories close to you and try your hardest to remember her with a smile, as she would want you too.... that’s how I am getting through my days xx

That’s exactly how I feel now. But it’s taken me a year to get to this point. At first you go through shock, sadness, grief (worse),then you realise you are doing your mum a disservice and you owe it to her not to be sad and to be a reflection of her and how she lived her life before she became ill.

xxx

This is exactly how I feel. Every day is a struggle and I am really trying. Feel so lonely. Its been 6 weeks for me now. Can I ask how you are doing now have you laughed at something yet or started looking forward to things.

It's now coming up to 12 weeks since mum grew her wings and still I find it all to much at times ,like steleeuk I always say a few words yo mum each day mainly when I look at her picture and tell mum I love her, there's times I've almost had a full on conversation but had a laugh about it at same time Nd told mum how the days been and my new goals, it's kinda strange as I say things I would not normally have talked about but it also gives me a sense of closure but I feel mum is still around and that's helped me so much, yes the tears still flow if I'm listening to s certain music track or reminiscing about the past times we had together, I'm now pushing harder than ever to live out my own needs and dreams , goals and it truly works for me and life is so much more worth it now days. I push on each day and I never forget and mum is happy knowing I'm the way I am and moving forward I guess it also helps mum to move forward and do good up there and help others just as she always did. So yeah stay strong , it takes time but it helps when your on the same page of understanding to be happy is great for you both as that's what mums always strive towards for us. Kind regards and keep smiling.. 

Marko..x

6 weeks for me now and i'm broken miss mum so much its unbearable. Can't find joy in anything, don't sleep well unless iv had a bottle of wine. Can't look forward to anything. Am I losing my mind?

6 weeks for me now and i'm broken miss mum so much its unbearable. Can't find joy in anything, don't sleep well unless iv had a bottle of wine. Can't look forward to anything. Am I losing my mind?

I promise you, your not losing your mind, I often have these feeling but st the same time I found myself in a state of depression and after I pushed myself to get out the house and surround myself with others, which was difficult, life has started to slowly find its way back to normality, it does take time and slowly time does help the healing process, but you still need to look after yourself and take care of you. It's all part of pulling through and if that means with the help of others and pulling together then so be it.... stay strong.