I' sorry I haven' replied sooner. It' just been hard to reply as my emoions are all over the place.

I' sorry for your loss too.

Still struggle to get motivated to do anything.

I don' like being around people. And prefer to stay around my house and garden.

I cried so much the other day because I wanted to call my mum so bad.

X

Hi I'm new to this site, but feel this is the only place where how I feel seems shared by others. I lost my mum a year ago, she was my best friend my soul mate and another mum to my children. We only live 2 doors away from her home. I also don't hardly go out any more or want to mix with any one. My friends have stopped trying to get hold of me any more, because I wouldn't answer the door or calls.....all I can say is some days are better than others, the pain never goes away, but sometimes we laugggh at the things we got up to with the kids, my kids and I created a memory jar filled with amazing times we shared and things that she said. I feel I will never get over the pain as it's still as raw aS the day she told me she was dying...I prayed so hard, begged god to take me instead as she was such a better person than me.....I have to admit if I didn't have children I would probably end my life as my  pain is unbearable. But I need to be there for them as the pain of loosing 2 people u love is something I will never put them  through if I can help it....I just take each day at a time, some days I'm fine and others not so great. My mum was everything to me losing her was the worst moment of my life, and iv bin through a lot. I just try and remember the pain I feel is because of the amazing mum, nan, friend and wife she was, and that if I didn't miss her then she wasn't that significant in our lives.....this is the first time iv actually shared how I feel to anyone, and broke down even writing this...

Wow I completely get where you are coming from. I lost my mum 4 months ago and the pain I feel is unbearable. She was my best friend, the person I got advice from, my go to for everything. I spoke to her every day and I have a huge void in my life now she is gone.  I feel as though I will never truly be happy again without her. Some days I feel like I can't breath...I still can't believe she has gone and I will never see her again. I can't imagine living the rest of my life without her .  I still feel shocked when I think she is dead....grief is the worst pain ever and I feel like no one understands.

Wow I completely get where you are coming from. I lost my mum 4 months ago and the pain I feel is unbearable. She was my best friend, the person I got advice from, my go to for everything. I spoke to her every day and I have a huge void in my life now she is gone.  I feel as though I will never truly be happy again without her. Some days I feel like I can't breath...I still can't believe she has gone and I will never see her again. I can't imagine living the rest of my life without her .  I still feel shocked when I think she is dead....grief is the worst pain ever and I feel like no one understands.

This is exactly how I feel. Every day is a struggle and I am really trying. Feel so lonely. Its been 6 weeks for me now. Can I ask how you are doing now have you laughed at something yet or started looking forward to things.

It's now coming up to 12 weeks since mum grew her wings and still I find it all to much at times ,like steleeuk I always say a few words yo mum each day mainly when I look at her picture and tell mum I love her, there's times I've almost had a full on conversation but had a laugh about it at same time Nd told mum how the days been and my new goals, it's kinda strange as I say things I would not normally have talked about but it also gives me a sense of closure but I feel mum is still around and that's helped me so much, yes the tears still flow if I'm listening to s certain music track or reminiscing about the past times we had together, I'm now pushing harder than ever to live out my own needs and dreams , goals and it truly works for me and life is so much more worth it now days. I push on each day and I never forget and mum is happy knowing I'm the way I am and moving forward I guess it also helps mum to move forward and do good up there and help others just as she always did. So yeah stay strong , it takes time but it helps when your on the same page of understanding to be happy is great for you both as that's what mums always strive towards for us. Kind regards and keep smiling.. 

Marko..x

6 weeks for me now and i'm broken miss mum so much its unbearable. Can't find joy in anything, don't sleep well unless iv had a bottle of wine. Can't look forward to anything. Am I losing my mind?

I promise you, your not losing your mind, I often have these feeling but st the same time I found myself in a state of depression and after I pushed myself to get out the house and surround myself with others, which was difficult, life has started to slowly find its way back to normality, it does take time and slowly time does help the healing process, but you still need to look after yourself and take care of you. It's all part of pulling through and if that means with the help of others and pulling together then so be it.... stay strong.