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Lost my dad and not had the reaction and support I expected.

evieg1
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I lost my dad on recently and his funeral was just before Christmas....my dad prepared us well for his passing and his past few months was the best we could have had as a family. We did so many experiances, meals out, family gatherings and it was as positive as we would have made it given the circumstances of his pancreatic cancer.

Loosing him is beyond painful and I am struggling to grieve. This is because there has been a lot of other funerals of late, 6 in total and they were all unexpected deaths and I have supported my friends through them, however the underlying issue that they all have raised is that because we had time to prepare...I have somehow got the better deal...my situation is not anything like theres......and some comments are quiet cutting.

I feel isolated and an unsure where do go from here with these friendships?

Parents
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    Sorry to hear of the passing. I sometimes wonder myself if it would of been easier if we'd had more knowledge that my dad was dying. He was poorly in October and died 3 days after being diagnosed on 24th October. I think when you grieve you question everything that happened and how it happened and I certainly imagined that there could of been nicer ways to die. I've always said to my mum the death we'd of wanted for dad would of been the worst way to go, I.e. Taking ages over a long period of time with lots of deterioration. Instead my dad had a horrific pulmonary embolism and died in my arms, I gave him cpr but couldn't save him.  

    All in all we all have our own grief to deal with in our own ways. It doesn't matter how, what and when, if you loose a loved one prematurely it's gonna hurt like hell.  The only way I deal with a passing in a good way is if a person is old and you can celebrate their life.

    Maybe talk to your friends and openly discuss your feelings why you hurt so much and vice versa. You will probably end up with the common factor that you lost someone you cared about dearly, that should still be walking this earth.

    Take care of yourself x

     

     

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    Sorry to hear of the passing. I sometimes wonder myself if it would of been easier if we'd had more knowledge that my dad was dying. He was poorly in October and died 3 days after being diagnosed on 24th October. I think when you grieve you question everything that happened and how it happened and I certainly imagined that there could of been nicer ways to die. I've always said to my mum the death we'd of wanted for dad would of been the worst way to go, I.e. Taking ages over a long period of time with lots of deterioration. Instead my dad had a horrific pulmonary embolism and died in my arms, I gave him cpr but couldn't save him.  

    All in all we all have our own grief to deal with in our own ways. It doesn't matter how, what and when, if you loose a loved one prematurely it's gonna hurt like hell.  The only way I deal with a passing in a good way is if a person is old and you can celebrate their life.

    Maybe talk to your friends and openly discuss your feelings why you hurt so much and vice versa. You will probably end up with the common factor that you lost someone you cared about dearly, that should still be walking this earth.

    Take care of yourself x

     

     

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