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Lost Mum and now don't know how to carry on

ChrissyJ
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Hi,

My brave beautiful Mum lost her life this morning to covid infection/lung cancer and I just can't accept she has gone. I know she is gone but I can't accept how I will continue without her. We worked together for 10 years and lived together (I was her carer for last few years) for 7 years with my partner. We were best friends and Mother/daughter all rolled into one. We stayed with her the last 16 hours of her life in hospital and I talked to her in her final breaths, telling her how much I loved her, how proud I was, how blessed I was. She had been in hospital since Tuesday and Friday they were pleased her infection levels had decreased, mentioning her possibly coming home this week then her covid levels raised again and her condition worsened so fast. It was awful seeing what she went through in the last day of her life and she knew she was dying but I never actually said it to her, I still believed for a miracle. Now I am left in a home with no Mum, my life. How do I carry on?

Jane

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    My heart goes out to you as my husband died from stage 4 lung cancer and covid.  It's such a feeling of loss and heartbreak plus watching them die in this way makes it worse.  All I can say Chrissy is that you will get through it, we really don't have a choice.  Take each day as it comes, don't expect anything just go with how you feel.  If I wanted to stay in bed I did, if it was 4am I got up and stayed up until it was time to sleep again.  Eat when you want, cry when you want, smile if you want, nothing will make any difference to the outcome, its nearly 4 months since Norman died and each day is different but I just stay home if I want or go out if I want to.  Mum fought to stay alive and you need that strength to get you through this.  Much love, Carol x 

  • Offline in reply to Dor06

    Carol thank you so much for reaching out to me with these kind words when you are also suffering from the grief of losing your husband too only recently. I'm moxing between numbness and desperation to see her at the moment. Waves of crying then nothing but disbelief. Your right, we just have to carry on no choice. Day at a time. I know I'm going to be really bad next week when my partner returns to work and I'm in the home we shared with Mum and my whole daily routine of being with her is gone, I'm without her. Gosh I don't know how I am going to cope...but of course I have to. Thank you once again and if you ever need a chat I'm here too for you. xx

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  • Offline in reply to Dor06

    Carol thank you so much for reaching out to me with these kind words when you are also suffering from the grief of losing your husband too only recently. I'm moxing between numbness and desperation to see her at the moment. Waves of crying then nothing but disbelief. Your right, we just have to carry on no choice. Day at a time. I know I'm going to be really bad next week when my partner returns to work and I'm in the home we shared with Mum and my whole daily routine of being with her is gone, I'm without her. Gosh I don't know how I am going to cope...but of course I have to. Thank you once again and if you ever need a chat I'm here too for you. xx

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