Hi there Amy, welcome to the forum, but really sorry to hear about your Dad. I think by your letter that you are probably the youngest in your family. If that is the case, then its' likely that you and your Dad have always been really close and that often happens with the youngest child in a family. I don't think you are being selfish; I just think you are having a really hard time of it, thinking about losing your Dad. Your need to have him close to yourself sounds like holding on to him will cause  him to stay with you longer. All of us who have lost loved ones know what that is like. Perhaps other members of your family would like to have some alone time with your Dad too, so perhaps a "family meeting" to talk about how something could be put in place to allow for some of that for each of you. Why not disuss this with a family member that you trust, perhaps your 21 year old sister. Sometimes when facing something like this, we tend to feel we're all alone in our feelings, but often others share those same concerns.

I don't know if anything I've said helps but I hope it gives you some ideas on how to cope with it. Come on here anytime to write your feelings down. That can help to sort things out in your own mind and perhaps get some ideas on how best to deal with them. I'm sure you will hear from some other people on the forum with some suggestions as well. In the meantime, take care of yourself and treasure any of your memories about your Dad because they will help you get through this.

Sending you hugs

Lorraine  

Hi amy17,

So sorry to hear about your poorly dad. I dont think there is a right way to feel, our feeling just come and we all do the best we can with them. Your dad may have stuff to go over with some of these other family members so it might be important for him to see them, so that he can rest easy. It must be so hard to accept all this for you and you sister, your poor dad too. What a difficult time for you all.

Sending you hugs 

Aemi x

I think you and your family can get counciling if you need it.

Hi Amy

Don't think its selfishness to want to spend as much time as you can with your dearly loved Dad. My kids (and they are in their 30's and do not live at home) spent as much time as they could during the final days of their dad's illness and I welcomed their support but also welcomed  the  precious few hours to spend alone with my husband. Its a very hard journey to walk alongside those we love knowing time is short but talking to members of your family, your elder sister and especially your Dad (my husband had his own opinions until the day he died) may help to organise time scales a little easier. I am sure he will feel more comfortable being with his family at home (its how my husband wanted it) and hope you have the support network you need to help with this.  Take care and sending a virtual hug.  Jules54 

Hello Everyone, sorry I haven't had chance to reply to everyone over the past week, just to let you all know my father passed away peacefully this morning. He was in no pain and looked ever so relaxed and just like he was sleeping. I miss him so much already. God Bless You Dad xxxx

Oh Amy,
So sorry to see your post.
Your beloved dad is no longer suffering or in discomfort.
Take good care of yourself.  You must be exhausted.
Kathy x
 

Hi Amy, I just read your post and I'm so sorry for your loss of your dear Dad. I'm sure you are still in shock, even though he was ill and knowing the end was coming, it still doesn't prepare you for the death of a loved one when it does happen. His suffering has ended, but in a way, yours is just beginning. Grieving is a very difficult process that all of us go through at a time of loss. Take all the help you can as you go through this and take my word for it, you will get through it and as time goes on, your pain will become less intense, although it will never go away completely. Your Dad will always hold a special place in your heart and at some point, you will be able to remember all the good times you had with him. Take care of yourself and come on here to the forum where people are very caring and supportive. Let us know how you are getting along as you take this difficult journey of grief of losing your Dad.

Sending you virtual hugs.

Lorraine

So sorry to see that you have lost your much loved Dad.  Can imagine the hurt you are feeling and the numbness that his news brings you and the family.  Use the forum anytime you feel it would be helpful to chat but the grieving process takes everyone differently and they say time heals.  Always remember the great memories you made with your Dad will remain in your heart always. Condolences at this sad time.Jules

Hi Amy, sounds like your Dad was at peace with himself .

I hope seeing him like that has helped you in some way. My condolences to you and your family. Hugs Aemi x

so sorry for your loss of ur dear dad, I have the heartache of knowing my mum will not with us much longer ,take comfort knowing he is not in pain and is at rest, God bless u xxx