Selfishness? and How to stop it

My Dad was diagnosed with bowel cancer at the start of 2013, later that year he was diagnosed with secondary lung cancer, and was medically told there was nothing they could do for him, making his cancer terminal. Only recently he has being diagnosed with cancer of the bones and liver. We are bringing him home from hospital soon to make him as comfotable as possible and pain free. He doesn't have very long left.

My father and me have a very very close relationship, and we also have a very big family meaning everyone wants to spend time with him all the time, but I can't help but feel suffocated by it all, I just want to spend time with my Dad alone, for a good few days at least, I understand that everyone wants to spend time with him also, but that's my dad, my best friend and I just want him to myself. This is so wrong and I know I'm being selfish, but I don't know how to stop feeling like this.

Does anyone have any advice? I'm only 18, I live with just my Dad and 21 year old sister.

Parents
  • Hi Amy

    Don't think its selfishness to want to spend as much time as you can with your dearly loved Dad. My kids (and they are in their 30's and do not live at home) spent as much time as they could during the final days of their dad's illness and I welcomed their support but also welcomed  the  precious few hours to spend alone with my husband. Its a very hard journey to walk alongside those we love knowing time is short but talking to members of your family, your elder sister and especially your Dad (my husband had his own opinions until the day he died) may help to organise time scales a little easier. I am sure he will feel more comfortable being with his family at home (its how my husband wanted it) and hope you have the support network you need to help with this.  Take care and sending a virtual hug.  Jules54 

Reply
  • Hi Amy

    Don't think its selfishness to want to spend as much time as you can with your dearly loved Dad. My kids (and they are in their 30's and do not live at home) spent as much time as they could during the final days of their dad's illness and I welcomed their support but also welcomed  the  precious few hours to spend alone with my husband. Its a very hard journey to walk alongside those we love knowing time is short but talking to members of your family, your elder sister and especially your Dad (my husband had his own opinions until the day he died) may help to organise time scales a little easier. I am sure he will feel more comfortable being with his family at home (its how my husband wanted it) and hope you have the support network you need to help with this.  Take care and sending a virtual hug.  Jules54 

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