Selfishness? and How to stop it

My Dad was diagnosed with bowel cancer at the start of 2013, later that year he was diagnosed with secondary lung cancer, and was medically told there was nothing they could do for him, making his cancer terminal. Only recently he has being diagnosed with cancer of the bones and liver. We are bringing him home from hospital soon to make him as comfotable as possible and pain free. He doesn't have very long left.

My father and me have a very very close relationship, and we also have a very big family meaning everyone wants to spend time with him all the time, but I can't help but feel suffocated by it all, I just want to spend time with my Dad alone, for a good few days at least, I understand that everyone wants to spend time with him also, but that's my dad, my best friend and I just want him to myself. This is so wrong and I know I'm being selfish, but I don't know how to stop feeling like this.

Does anyone have any advice? I'm only 18, I live with just my Dad and 21 year old sister.

Parents
  • Hello Everyone, sorry I haven't had chance to reply to everyone over the past week, just to let you all know my father passed away peacefully this morning. He was in no pain and looked ever so relaxed and just like he was sleeping. I miss him so much already. God Bless You Dad xxxx

Reply
  • Hello Everyone, sorry I haven't had chance to reply to everyone over the past week, just to let you all know my father passed away peacefully this morning. He was in no pain and looked ever so relaxed and just like he was sleeping. I miss him so much already. God Bless You Dad xxxx

Children
  • Oh Amy,
    So sorry to see your post.
    Your beloved dad is no longer suffering or in discomfort.
    Take good care of yourself.  You must be exhausted.
    Kathy x
     

  • Hi Amy, I just read your post and I'm so sorry for your loss of your dear Dad. I'm sure you are still in shock, even though he was ill and knowing the end was coming, it still doesn't prepare you for the death of a loved one when it does happen. His suffering has ended, but in a way, yours is just beginning. Grieving is a very difficult process that all of us go through at a time of loss. Take all the help you can as you go through this and take my word for it, you will get through it and as time goes on, your pain will become less intense, although it will never go away completely. Your Dad will always hold a special place in your heart and at some point, you will be able to remember all the good times you had with him. Take care of yourself and come on here to the forum where people are very caring and supportive. Let us know how you are getting along as you take this difficult journey of grief of losing your Dad.

    Sending you virtual hugs.

    Lorraine

  • So sorry to see that you have lost your much loved Dad.  Can imagine the hurt you are feeling and the numbness that his news brings you and the family.  Use the forum anytime you feel it would be helpful to chat but the grieving process takes everyone differently and they say time heals.  Always remember the great memories you made with your Dad will remain in your heart always. Condolences at this sad time.Jules

  • Hi Amy, sounds like your Dad was at peace with himself .

    I hope seeing him like that has helped you in some way. My condolences to you and your family. Hugs Aemi x

     

     

  • so sorry for your loss of ur dear dad, I have the heartache of knowing my mum will not with us much longer ,take comfort knowing he is not in pain and is at rest, God bless u xxx

  • Amy,

    Whilst sorry for your loss, I am pleased that your Dad had a peaceful and dignified end to his life.
    When my Mum died, we were in a similar position and took comfort from the fact that she had the end that she had hoped and planned for. I hope you and your family are able to take some comfort in this too, despite the unavoidable pain of bereavement.

     

    Best wishes
    Dave