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Update on mum

Candy23
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Hi everyone. Sorry I have been away so long!! Only just remembered I had created an account on here!

Just thought I'd pop on and add an update for everyone I had spoken to in the past. I will recap for anyone else who reads this and doesn't know my story

My mum was diagnosed with lung cancer last year and was given radiotherapy to shrink the tumour as it couldn't be removed safely due to it's location. We were hopeful since after her treatment she had a scan and was told it had shrunk dramatically. Unfortunately two days after this she took a turn for the worst and ended up in hospital in a bad state. We eventually spoke to a consultant who told us it had spread to her brain and was terminal. She bounced back after this and was released home, and was told perhaps chemo would prolong her life and was her decision, this is where I left off last time I wrote on here. Just an update to say she decided against the chemo after being told it may not help and would make her pretty sick, wasn't worth it at the time as she was still pretty able and in a good way. Since then she has been in and out of hospital a few times, nothing as serious as the first time. Celebrated Christmas, new year & just recently my birthday. Glad for this although she is sadly getting weaker and sorer, spends most of the the time resting.

Anyway just thought I would post an update! Thank you for reading xxx

Parents
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    Hi again everyone.. How are we all??

    I am doing ok which I find weird.. I don't understand it but I don't feel anything? I feel like I'm numb...

    Have organised the flowers and outfits for the funeral and we were picking out pictures for the order of service last night and I don't know why but whenever I saw a picture of mum it almost felt like id never knew her or had her.. And then I feel terrible for thinking this? But I can't explain why I think this way.. Maybe because the cancer had effected her for so long before her death I don't know,,

    xxx

  • Offline in reply to Candy23

    Hi Candy,

    Brian and Garf are right; our brains do strange things to us at times like this and whatever you feel is normal for you.  I do remember feeling numb too, but for me that was quickly followed by pain and sadness.  Grief is such an individual thing, there is no right or wrong, just go with your feelings and expect them to change daily (sometimes even hourly). For me almost a year since my Dad's death and over 6 months since my Mum's, I am still grieving and have had to come to accept that for me there are still bad days. When we see our loved ones deteriorate and die they don't really seem like the people they really were, and perhaps you are right in your explanation of looking at photos of your Mum.  On the otherhand  it could just be your own mechanism for coping with what is too painful to think about just now; either way I hope you can have happy memories of your Mum.  Wishing you strength going forward, and you know where we are if you need us.  Hope x

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  • Offline in reply to Candy23

    Hi Candy,

    Brian and Garf are right; our brains do strange things to us at times like this and whatever you feel is normal for you.  I do remember feeling numb too, but for me that was quickly followed by pain and sadness.  Grief is such an individual thing, there is no right or wrong, just go with your feelings and expect them to change daily (sometimes even hourly). For me almost a year since my Dad's death and over 6 months since my Mum's, I am still grieving and have had to come to accept that for me there are still bad days. When we see our loved ones deteriorate and die they don't really seem like the people they really were, and perhaps you are right in your explanation of looking at photos of your Mum.  On the otherhand  it could just be your own mechanism for coping with what is too painful to think about just now; either way I hope you can have happy memories of your Mum.  Wishing you strength going forward, and you know where we are if you need us.  Hope x

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