Just to let you all know my mother passed away earlier this morning

Just to let you all know my mother passed away earlier this morning

Oh Candy,

I am so sorry to hear this. Thank you for letting us know and please know that we are here for you anytime you want to talk.

Sending condolences to you and your sister, Brian

Candy I am so sorry to read this, I wish there was something I could say to ease your pain but that is impossible.  Surround yourself with those you love, get as much support as you can and go with all of your emotions.  My heart goes out to you at this difficult time.   Hope x

Oh Candy I am so terribly sorry!

You know we are all here for you and my virtual door is always open if and when you want to talk.

You have been in my thoughts a lot and will be more so now.

Please take care!

Garf xxxx 

Thank you everyone. Sorry I'm not replying individually just thought id quickly reply to all 3 of you. I am absolutely devastated. I was there while it was happening and I found it very difficult to watch but I am glad she's rid of this cancer and pain now..

I was just hoping some of you could offer advice on what to do now.. What did you all do to keep sane and keep going? I feel myself crumbling already

xxxx

Crumble away Candy!

If you want and need to curl up in a ball and cry your heart out then do it.  It is very important to release the pain you are feeling as it also helps to start the healing.  Admit to yourself that you are in pain and grieving  and just take things slowly, one day at a time.

I'm sorry I can't be much help to you right now Candy and I can't get at my computer again now for a while but I will check in again later.

Garf. xxxx

Hi Candy,

The day after I lost my mother, I spent most of it phoning around relatives and friends to let them know. This was so hard and several times I had to cut short conversations as I was so upset and close to tears.  Mum had already planned a big part of her funeral so it made this part much easier for me. I just tried to keep myself as busy as possible but I found I couldn't concentrate on anything much. Luckily my wife was there for me but I just wanted to be alone with my thoughts for a while.

It seemed so unreal, even though like you, I knew the end was close. I felt pain and grief, but at the same stage, relief that she was no longer suffering. She wasn't in pain but she hated being dependant on others.

I know it must have been so hard for you being there at the end, but you mother would have known you were there and she would be so proud of you for that. My mother passed during the night so I wasn't there, which is something I will always feel regret about.

Garf has as always, given good advice. Anytime you want to talk, we are here for you Candy.

Please take care, thinking of you, Brian.

Hi Candy

So sorry to hear this news.  My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this difficult time.

Something strange happened to me this morning.  I woke up after dreaming I was going to hear something about a person dying from cancer.  It must have been about your mum Candy.

As Garf and Brian and others have already said we are all here for you when you need to talk.

Take care Candy

Mickied

Im so so sorry to hear your news about your Mum Candy.

My mother passed away on Feb 10th from lung cancer and I dont know how Ive coped, I think I have just tried to keep busy tbh. Just wanted to say if you need a chat Im here for you Hun.

Take care,

Jacci xxx

Thank you everyone

I feel numb today and I am scared of who's it will be like when the numbness is gone and the pain and reality sets in

I miss her so much already!!!!!!

xxx

Hi Candy, how are you doing hun?

You asked what others have done to keep sane - well I'm not sure I even kept sane throughout my ordeal but basically this is what happened to me - when my Dad died I went into auto-pilot looking after my Mum (who was so grief stricken she couldn't do a thing). As an only child I rushed around doing all the arrangements, sorting out paperwork etc and found myself so busy that I just kept going.  After the funeral it hit me more and I cried a lot, but then I went back to work and fell into the cyle of some kind of "normality" continuing to spent my time supporting Mum.  However, when Mum was diagnosed and died it hit me much harder; I now had nobody to look after and found myself in immense grief.  After once again doing all the practical things I drew some comfort at making sure the funeral was as good as it could be, and it helped having friends and relatives around at that time.  Afterwards however the empty feeling was horrendous.  I have felt every emotion from pain, sadness, guilt, anger - you name it.  The only way I've coped (and still trying to cope), is to get as much support as possible.  I had a counsellor for a while which helped a bit, but nowadays I try and focus on hubby and my family to give me strength.  I won't lie, it is a hard journey Candy, all you can do is go with your emotions.  Every day (and sometimes every hour) are different, and we as people are all different and will deal with this journey in our own ways.  Be kind to yourself and use this site to write down how you truly feel, in my experience that helps.  Take care.  Hope x