Hi corny i think easier to tell them what you know now and just keep everyone up to date with progress, rather than holding back information and upsetting someone sooner or later, it's also not going to be a shock later on. I told all family as soon as i knew, everyone was OK no problems. Good luck and best wishes for the future.......

Billy 

Thankyou so much for replying Billy. 
It's such a hard balancing act. As I said to emmw, my son's 4 days away from his January final year exams and I think I'm going to hold off til then. Plus I think I can bring them all 3 of them together at home. 
With love x 

Hi, I was diagnosed with a kidney tumour which was removed 4 weeks ago ( the whole kidney).  I am in the fortunate position in that I don't think there will be any follow up treatment required, just further scans in 6 months.  I am due to see the consultant next week for histology but our conversation immediately post op was very reassuring.

i have two sons 25 and 27.  The 25 yr old started pilot school the week I had my scan results confirming cancer.  I therefore wanted to protect him.   I told both of my sons and mother who is 79 that an incidental find had noticed something on my kidney, they couldn't be certain what it was but thought it was multiple cysts and were unable to do a biopsy but would do surgery instead.  My mum didn't question this as I had no symptoms and was the fittest I had ever been planning* to do a half marathon in March.  My sons did their own research and asked me outright if it was cancer.  I said I wouldn't know until they had done the surgery and carried out the histology to confirm.   I have recovered and to my family although I am not yet back to running (I'm 55) I am almost normal.  I am planning to say to my sons after my appt next week that there were some cancerous cells they have all been removed and I don't need any further treatment.  I have and am going to continue to tell my mum that I had multiple cycsts which had badly damaged my cysts and that draining them would have been futile so to avoid having to go back in he removed the kidney.  As time has passed my sons have seen me in hospital, having surgery, get well again and thetefore have got used to the idea over a period of time which I think has served them better than the shock of mum having cancer, mum having surgery and the long wait for histology.  I feel that this drip feeding effect has worked for me and my family and I feel no guilt whatsoever at not being honest with my own mother.   You will know how best to handle this situation and all we can do is share our own very unique and personal experiences. My matter of fact way avoided any tears or great emotional distress for any of us.   I know they felt reassured by the way I shared the news.  Good luck

Hi, I was diagnosed with a kidney tumour which was removed 4 weeks ago ( the whole kidney).  I am in the fortunate position in that I don't think there will be any follow up treatment required, just further scans in 6 months.  I am due to see the consultant next week for histology but our conversation immediately post op was very reassuring.

i have two sons 25 and 27.  The 25 yr old started pilot school the week I had my scan results confirming cancer.  I therefore wanted to protect him.   I told both of my sons and mother who is 79 that an incidental find had noticed something on my kidney, they couldn't be certain what it was but thought it was multiple cysts and were unable to do a biopsy but would do surgery instead.  My mum didn't question this as I had no symptoms and was the fittest I had ever been planning* to do a half marathon in March.  My sons did their own research and asked me outright if it was cancer.  I said I wouldn't know until they had done the surgery and carried out the histology to confirm.   I have recovered and to my family although I am not yet back to running (I'm 55) I am almost normal.  I am planning to say to my sons after my appt next week that there were some cancerous cells they have all been removed and I don't need any further treatment.  I have and am going to continue to tell my mum that I had multiple cycsts which had badly damaged my cysts and that draining them would have been futile so to avoid having to go back in he removed the kidney.  As time has passed my sons have seen me in hospital, having surgery, get well again and thetefore have got used to the idea over a period of time which I think has served them better than the shock of mum having cancer, mum having surgery and the long wait for histology.  I feel that this drip feeding effect has worked for me and my family and I feel no guilt whatsoever at not being honest with my own mother.   You will know how best to handle this situation and all we can do is share our own very unique and personal experiences. My matter of fact way avoided any tears or great emotional distress for any of us.   I know they felt reassured by the way I shared the news.  Good luck

Thanks for replying Matrons. First of all, I'm so glad for you that everything has gone well. My dad had a kidney tumour and I know they tend to be contained. You've handled that with finesse. 
 

I get what you are saying about the drip-feed. I hadn't thought of approaching it like that. My eldest son popped round tonight to tell me that he's just been prompted by very senior management to apply for his "dream job" which confirmed to me I am doing the right thing by waiting. 
 

I think your approach is really positive. I know we're not being brave out of choice because we don't choose to have cancer but the way you've handled it is actually very undramatic and strong, for everyone. 
 

i started running last year after 40 years and dud my first 1/2 marathon and then Tough Mudder. I think running distances helps create a strong mindset. I had eye surgery in November and then had that chesty virus over Christmas so haven't done too much for a while but I'm running tomorrow and gyming next week.

You have really given my some good for thought.

Thanks so much and good luck to you too

Much love x