Anyone?

Bless you hon. What a rollercoaster you’re continually going through. All I can say is that I hope it turns out to be nothing and I’m glad you’re being seen straight away. I can’t relate to your experiences as a patient but I can relate in some ways being a carer for my husband and know exactly what you mean about living under a black cloud. I also can relate to the feeling of expecting the worst all the time too. Every time my husband and I see his consultant it just seems to be more and more bad news. I sincerely hope this is not the case for you now and you get the reprieve you deserve. 

When is your consultant appointment? Let us know how you get on and I’m sure others will respond to your post soon x

Thank you for your reply.

My appointment is tomorrow!

And again my mind is thinking all the worst things..... like why am I getting seen in a few days.... maybe they had spaces or maybe they are worried too.

I could just sit and cry but I know when I go, I will either be devastated or on top of the world when I leave. Anxiety is 10 out of 10 at the moment, I could be sick but I'm trying to keep busy and tell myself it could be something and nothing.

I'm so sorry you are feeling so low and anxious. It's only human to feel anxious but please don't let it ruin the life you still got. Try to enjoy each day as it comes. Enjoy the little things like the cup of tea or coffee you are going to have, the next meal, talking to a friend or acquantance, having a chat with a stranger in the supermarket, inviting someone to watch a DVD with you on a cold weekend afternoon.

Don't let that ********* spoil your life.

There are things we cannot control, such as how long we are going to live, our health, what happens next... this afternoon... what happens tomorrow... We are all mortal, no one is immune to mortality. We are all in this together, even if along different journeys. So, don't be afraid. We are human and can only deal with human things. Whatever is going to happen, we will deal with it, but only when it comes. One day at a time. No rush. No panic. No anxiety. Slowly...

You may find that getting out from under that dark cloud might help a bit. Step out and do something you enjoy, plan something for tomorrow, have a break from the anxiety and postpone it for later... and again for much later... you don't neet anxiety now and there is always time for it later... As they say, no need to worry twice!

Take yourself mentally to a better place. Our problems won't go away but we can choose when to deal with them.

Lots of LOVE and HUGS XXXXX

Hi sorry for not replying sooner, sometimes things a bit chaos in our house, my wife was diagnosed with dementia and motor neurone couple of weeks ago and couple of days ago told not that she's got a brain disease instead yesterday told its Alzheimers, NHS have made a mistake again. The thing is that I've got cancer on palliative care since Feb 2016 and I'm my wife's carer, things can seem bad but we always look that we alive and fighting and going to keep fighting it'll probably win but not easily.. Find things you like to do enjoy things. Remember you don't know yet?? Even if it has you'll have options on what you want to do. Best wishes for your future.

Billy 

Thank you for your reply.

I know there's so many going through this and many worse than myself. I go to groups and there's always someone worse off, I don't know how they cope.

Best wishes to you both

Update....

Went to my appointment, no examination...

Felt like all I got was a lecture of living in the past and imagining the worst....

I may be cancer free but I may not be, I hope I am as nothing was done today!

What now?

Hi there,

so sorry for the late reply - I’m struggling to find the time to keep up with things at the moment but I will always respond when I can. 

How did your appointment go?

i understand your anxiety levels. We’ve just seen Will’s oncologist now - no scan results or anything, just a catch up this time, as going in after a scan for us tends to be nothing but bad news and I end up breaking down. And my head takes me to places like considering suicide - not particularly helpful!

Good luck x

So sorry - just seen your update. I wonder why no examination or anything? Hopefully take as a good sign or perhaps get back in touch and push for more info? 

I've spoken to my GP who referred me, she couldn't believe how it went either. 

Good thing is the new pain seems to be settling so hopefully all good. However if things get worse again I will let them know.

Hope you both get good news soon.

Really don't think consultants get just how bad we feel, I've been in tears so many times expecting the worst even before I get into the room.

Keep strong, it's all we can do. We are fighting to live so please don't think suicidal thoughts.