Hello Bubbles,

I can completely relate. I have crippling health anxiety. Currently writing this from my bed as I've tried getting up this afternoon and felt so ill from.the anxiety that i decided my bed is my safe place! Ive recently been given an urgent 2 week referral too. I found a lump in one breast which is very painful but wasnt too worried..at the time! As soon as my doctor felt my other breast and found another lump I didn't know i had, I immediately went into shut down mode! Barely eaten in the three days since. Not even thirsty. I feel frozen with fear and imagining all sorts (hair loss, death etc!). Im already scared if death and now i just feel debilitated and desperate. Ive tried borrowing some money to book privately but ironically, they're all closed at the weekend, which has made me feel worse. My mum died of ovarian cancer but no ine else in my family has Cancer history so im trying to calm down but instead my brain is on overdrive.

Feel so scared and alone. 

Im thinking of you. Please keep in touch and let us know how you get on. Hugs x

Hi Danni your not alone lovely. I’ve been the same in bed unable to get up. Literally crippled with fear. It’s debilitating isn’t it  I would call them Monday to be asked to go on the cancellation list. I’m going to call back too. Let’s try and help each other get through the wait. I’m so sorry to hear about your mum, the trauma of that won’t help your anxiety either. Sending you so much love xxx

Good luck Nhj91 please let us know how you get on xx

Bubbles I can’t believe your appointment hasn’t come through :( as danni said Is there anyone you can contact to chase? Xx

I will thank you. Just responded about you not receiving your appointment that’s awful  x

Me again! It was only Thursday the NHS referral but bearing in mind they are targeted to see you within two weeks, time is ticking! 

I think I will stick to my private one on the 13th, I can’t see the NHs coming back to me and seeing me before then but if they do I will jump at it x

Yes I feel you!! I’ve been on the sofa all day. I’ve been sick and crying constantly. I thought about my family and how I may never see them again. It’s breaking me. I feel guilty I’m seeing this consultant tomorrow now as my poor mum had to wait admittedly they got her in within two days of receiving the referral. I still feel guilty. My mental health is truly broken, I’m consumed with fear. Xx 

Oh yes I remember you saying about the 13th. Hopefully they contact in the mean time. Xx

Hi Nhj91,

I shall be thinking of you tomorrow and hope that nothing untoward is found.

Please keep in touch and let us know how you get on. We are always here for you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Thank you jolamine. You really helped when I had the breakdown over mums biopsy. I’m not sure if you remember me saying about it coming back benign but worried about her follow up. You calmed me down and rationalised her biopsy results for me. Xx

Oh Im so sorry to hear this...i can relate 100 percent and im so sorry you're feeling this way. Ive tried every trick in the book but it doesn't seem to be subsiding. Ive nothing to help me sleep (i have an amazing app but when im panicking i get so ill that nothing helps). I know you're feeling guilty about your mum but please, please dont . I know that's easier said than done! Your situations are slightly different and people's mental health is different. Remember we are unique! There's no right or wrong way and your mum is very lucky to have you as a lovely, caring daughter and im certain she knows this. So please, just for today and tomorrow..take every day at a time (I sometimes wish I could take my own advice). The consuming of fear is normal and human. Im exactly the same (been sat down since i got hime and haven't even moved to take my coat off). Filled out the hospital questionnaire which in itself was stressful but everytime i got a pain I was telling myself i know the outcome tomorrow. You are right, it's torture but im hoping the person viewing your results will be patient and explain things thoroughly, confirming that you are safe. 

Reach out anytime, we are all here for you xx

Oh Im so sorry to hear this...i can relate 100 percent and im so sorry you're feeling this way. Ive tried every trick in the book but it doesn't seem to be subsiding. Ive nothing to help me sleep (i have an amazing app but when im panicking i get so ill that nothing helps). I know you're feeling guilty about your mum but please, please dont . I know that's easier said than done! Your situations are slightly different and people's mental health is different. Remember we are unique! There's no right or wrong way and your mum is very lucky to have you as a lovely, caring daughter and im certain she knows this. So please, just for today and tomorrow..take every day at a time (I sometimes wish I could take my own advice). The consuming of fear is normal and human. Im exactly the same (been sat down since i got hime and haven't even moved to take my coat off). Filled out the hospital questionnaire which in itself was stressful but everytime i got a pain I was telling myself i know the outcome tomorrow. You are right, it's torture but im hoping the person viewing your results will be patient and explain things thoroughly, confirming that you are safe. 

Reach out anytime, we are all here for you xx

thank you danni. How are you feeling? I can’t rest as thinking about tomorrow!! I’m certain I’d need a biopsy for sure as apparently fibroadenoma in 30yr plus require biopsy. In which case I won’t be able to afford that tomorrow and will have to wait for next week at the clinic. I guess what I want to get from tomorrow is the breast consultant to review my images and give me her conclusion on them just at least for piece of mind that she thinks they look innocent xx

Im not good at all, tonight. Im trying but Keep panicking..badly! Trying to think positively has well and truly gine out of the window. I cannot afford anything after tomorrow...so gid knows what will happen if i need an aspiration or biopsy. Do I keep my NHS appointment still?  And just turn up to have a consult, with my results from tomorrow? Feels like Im going mad as I literally know nothing at all. Im hoping you'll have the positive confirmation tomorrow that you've nothing to worry about and the lady you're seeing will help you feel reassured... We must trust the professionals. Thinking of you xx

Hey danni I’m sorry your not good  just think we will have more answers this time tomorrow!! I would keep your nhs one just incase you have to pay extra for extra tests which I know private do. I’m paying for my consultation which I’m assuming she’ll do a psychical check and go through my concerns but I was told if I want further tests I’d have to pay extra so like a scan and biopsy. Yours might be different? Xxx I’m thinking of you too! It’s stressful times xxx

I know but that's what im worried about and have read some absolutely terrible reviews on my clinic, which has just made me feel worse. They told me the wrong pricing over the phone too and now Im about to borrow a lot of money and worried they will be awful. I can't escape my thoughts tonight. Ive been told my price is for a consultancy and either a mammogram or an ultrasound only. I cant do anything else after that. Xxx

Try not to worry about some of the reviews. What sort of stuff have they been saying? That’s good you have a scan included. Your get an idea of what’s going on and will hopefully offer some relief for you. I do get what your saying because I’m not sure how il take it tomorrow if it’s bad and I have to wait till next week for a biopsy. My heart just did a thud thinking about it! I’m trying to remain calm because either way I know I’m going to have to follow through with these investigations to get a definite diagnosis it’s All the uncertainty which is stressful. Xxx

Hello.. reviews were saying that they were rude staff, poor communication, some had attitudes..it ranged really. Ive been told three different things so far about the one stop clinic appointment but im so desperate I feel if I wait any longer, Im going to have a total breakdown. Like you say, the uncertainty is horrific xxx

I get it I really do. I’ve been nearly bricking it tonight and thinking I can’t go and bury my head in the sand. It will just eat away so I’m going to go with the motions at the mo. I feel I’m having a breakdown at the moment to be honest I’ve been like it for a couple of months but things like this naturally make it worse. Deep breaths… we’ve got this xxx

Hello Nhj91,

How are you feeling this morning? I hope you managed some sleep. I woke up and immediately panicked. Felt so sick and shaky that I had to call in sick to work before my appointment this afternoon. Ill be in mine when you have yours but will be thinking of you and hoping for the best possible outcome. Deep breaths... You've got this!

Dannii xx

Hi danni I’m sorry you don’t feel well  all the best for today lovely! Please let me know how you get on. I woke up and immediately was sick. I had a call from the nhs breast unit and they have cancellation tomorrow at 11am so I’m going to that one instead now. It seemed silly to still go today with the appointment tomorrow. I feel really frightened xxx

Hi all. I've been to my appointment, it was DREADFUL again, I'm so glad I had my partner to be with me. The consultant actually said " so you sit in my chair and tell me the plan" because I had a couple of questions, same as my previous experience because im under 40 (37) I'm not deemed high risk so he felt "something" not a lump not normal tissue, so it needs scanned but I now have to wait for an appointment to come through the post within the next 2 weeks. So I'm not better off an highly upset by the experience again. I hope everyone else has a better appointment and positive outcome x