I have just been diagnosed with stage 4 secondary liver cancer. I felt I was in free fall whe I was told a few ago. I want to run but I can't.  We are a member of a club we do not want to be in and yet more that a third of people will get cancer. It's terrifying. I'm finding hard it to be the sick one too. I'm the fixer and doer in my family and I can't get used to not being that person any more. 

I wish you good luck with treatment. I also find Maggie's centre invaluable for counseling at the moment they have save me a few times ️

Hello 747, my heart goes out to you, I can feel the free fall you are feeling. Thank you for taking the time to write to me. I wish you the strength to bear this without such anguish and hope you find the support you need. x

Hi Fran,

Glad you like our positivity! It's the only way to go.  The worst time, I think, is before treatment when your brain won't stop drifting to worse case scenarios.  I've just read your other posts and you sound just like we were at that stage,  if you read any of our messages to each other in the beginning, it was a lovely way for us to be positive, talking to people in the same situation, who weren't into doom and gloom. 
Luckily, you haven't got too long to wait until the little so and so is gone!  I know so many people who are living their lives fully and healthily, having had their cancer removed at the earliest stage. It's amazing how quickly life gets back to normal after recovering from the surgery.
 

Sorry about your arthritis, I have osteoarthritis, not as bad as rheumatoid, I know, but I could do without it. Hopefully, you'll get your PIP sorted.  I'm an old dear, so I just get my pension and glad, too. The only way I will be entitled to anything extra will be when I'm on my last legs, so I'll happily do without it.

Sadly as you have probably seen, one of our trio is back to the waiting and worrying stage. I'm sure that whatever the tests show, she will take it in her stride and will keep smiling. 

Good luck for the 13th (just had to check it wasn't a Friday) Phew!

Hugh Grant hasn't aged well, I fear. 

love

Christine xx

Morning all

Hope hospital visit is bearable Caroline and you're bearing up.  Are you taking it easy otherwise as you do seem to have quite hectic family/work commitments? Though we're close we are not wonder woman....

Hi Fran, glad you've enjoyed our ramblings....they help and entertain us, a win-win in my book, and if they help others then maybe that's a win-win-win?

Christine, that blummin Shakespeare was SUCH hard work and wasn't technically at the globe, probably best it was the Sam wannamaker playhouse as it was a bit nippy.....the bard is deffo not for this philistine! But an experience none the less.

Xx

Hi ladies, so ultrasound went well! She couldn't find anything that looked sinister. She said the lumps were muscle :laugh: so I am blaming my arm workouts at the gym! So that was a massive relief! CT on Thursday then hopefully results and positive so I can slip back into normal life!! 
Love you guys - your messages have perked me up, as usual! 
Caroline x

Whoopeee!!!  Can't wait to hear Thursday. I am up early today as I am going on a silent protest at our health trust headquarters to protest at them taking the contract off our  current wonderful health centre team and giving it to a multi centre company!  Our doctor says she won't stay if they go ahead and we don't want to lose her.  It feels like I'm back to my student days!  I'm always up for a good protest !

Excellent news Caroline...get you and your guns! Those workouts must be quite punishing. Still got one finger crossed re CT scan, I wonder whether that will show that you're good for the next Olympics eh?

Go Christine! Good cause and all that though if I was protesting Im not sure I'd be able to remain quiet,it does take quite alot of effort at the best of times:happy: (that is meant to be a happy face but looks decidedly odd as I type). Right bike ride time... whoopee.

xx

Hi Sam and Caroline,

Our silent protest turned out to be anything but silent.  Every time a possible member of the board arrived suited and booted for the meeting, some idiot man with a loud voice would start shouting "Save *** Health Centre, and everyone else joined in!  We hovered around for about an hour, not  really with any plan, because our leaders had gone in to the meeting, which was supposed to go on for three hours.  However, one of those people came out and said as our item was not on the public agenda in the morning, but would be held in private in the afternoon, they had left but the chair of the board had made some conciliatory comments that had given them some hope.  We sort of drifted away in dribs and drabs then and I haven't heard anything since.   I must have a look at their social media pages to see what's happening.

Caroline, hope you're ok.

Lots of love

 Christine xx

Hi Christine & Sam,

I have chuckled at your messages about being a protestor, Christine. Well done you for standing up for what you believe in!

I'm doing ok. Scans/tests all done, now we wait! My theory is the longer I don't hear, the more likely it's nothing sinister. Feel like the ostrich who wants to bury their head in the sand. Feeling positive most of the time. Reckon I'll have to wait a couple of weeks, at least. 
Thank you both, for checking in I really do appreciate it. Will let you know when I hear anything. I'm sure all will be fine. 
Caroline 

Morning!

When I started reading your note Christine I was immediately envisaging the police carrying you off from the front line of a protest, Greta Thunberg style...not sure whether it was good it turned a bit noisy? I think these things are emotional so difficult for some to keep in check (I'm in that group).  Hope that you get what you want to benefit your community.

Caroline

Hope the wait is a bit more palatable now you know you're a champion weight lifter and yep your logic I share re the fact that you wouldn't wait if there were bad news. I've started having more uncomfortable under arm 'pain' as the nerves apparently can start mending themselves...well thanks nerves!  Nothing to write home about but does mean I need to stick my hand/arm in the air more often, doesn't bother me but can cause a lot of confusion in others (something I relish anyway).

All good here, had a trip at weekend to see what they'd done to battersea power station (love an old building) and despite it being surrounded by hideous flats its very good, great shops and food places inside and the control room still has all the knobs, bells and whistles and is a cocktail bar...I mean who could ask for more eh?  Worth a trip if you're ever in these dodgy southern parts.  So that's another mission completed on my extensive London bucket list pre Yorkshire move.

Have a good week ladies X

Ladies, just a quick message before i traipse off on a dog walk. My CT scan came back clear! No cancer in my lungs, liver or stomach! So not sure what the problem was! Stress maybe?! My weight loss (unfortunately :wink: has steadied out) and my breathing isn't as bad. Maybe I'd caught Covid a while ago and wasn't aware?! 
Anyway, I am over the moon and now off to enjoy my day/life!!

Love you you all 

Caroline xx

Hooray!  
I am delighted to hear this good news. And I'm sure I can speak for Sam, too!  Obviously Hawaii wasn't the place for you! :laugh: 
Lesson to learn, no stressing!  Having said that, I'm pretty sure I wasn't half so laid back when I still had family responsibilities and work, too! Sad about the weight loss - similar to me when I first started on the Letrozole, first six weeks, adjustment, a bit of nausea and lovely weight loss.  Subsequently - nausea gone, good! Weight loss stopped, not so good! Still better to be fat, happy and healthy than thin and sick! Actually I can't say I'm fat, just a few pounds heavier than I would like but too lazy to do anything about it. 

At least we all got to catch up!  Next time without the worry, I hope.  I actually inserted an emoji on that top line that has changed to the word laugh.  I'm wondering now, what will appear when I post this!

Lots of love

Christine xx

Ahh, the emoji came up, I'll have to remember that next time I need to explain my feelings in pictures!

Hooray!  
I am delighted to hear this good news. And I'm sure I can speak for Sam, too!  Obviously Hawaii wasn't the place for you! :laugh: 
Lesson to learn, no stressing!  Having said that, I'm pretty sure I wasn't half so laid back when I still had family responsibilities and work, too! Sad about the weight loss - similar to me when I first started on the Letrozole, first six weeks, adjustment, a bit of nausea and lovely weight loss.  Subsequently - nausea gone, good! Weight loss stopped, not so good! Still better to be fat, happy and healthy than thin and sick! Actually I can't say I'm fat, just a few pounds heavier than I would like but too lazy to do anything about it. 

At least we all got to catch up!  Next time without the worry, I hope.  I actually inserted an emoji on that top line that has changed to the word laugh.  I'm wondering now, what will appear when I post this!

Lots of love

Christine xx

Ahh, the emoji came up, I'll have to remember that next time I need to explain my feelings in pictures!