I have just been diagnosed with stage 4 secondary liver cancer. I felt I was in free fall whe I was told a few ago. I want to run but I can't.  We are a member of a club we do not want to be in and yet more that a third of people will get cancer. It's terrifying. I'm finding hard it to be the sick one too. I'm the fixer and doer in my family and I can't get used to not being that person any more. 

I wish you good luck with treatment. I also find Maggie's centre invaluable for counseling at the moment they have save me a few times ️

Hello 747, my heart goes out to you, I can feel the free fall you are feeling. Thank you for taking the time to write to me. I wish you the strength to bear this without such anguish and hope you find the support you need. x

Caroline

Just so you get notified re my most recent post!

Sam X

Ladies,

I just want to say, we are damn tough cookies who have whipped cancers ***!! I too, have loved your support, hearing your tales of what you have been up to in your life and journeys. 
Now it is onward and upwards!! Keep enjoying life, doing the things you enjoy and look after yourselves. 
Sam, take it easy. Good to hear you are taking a month to recover and clean (!!) and getting a lovely new handbag - can never have too many bags or shoes.

Christine, keep your painting going, watch the hearing aids don't get left near the dog!! I hope your aches and pains ease and you are enjoying your garden/neighbours and family (still makes me smile how they wouldn't let you do anything!)

You will be pleased to know that my air con is amazing but poor hubby usually wakes up freezing. I turn it on before we go to bed, to cool the room down, then switch it off. But I've had to set the timer so it comes on around 1:30am as my hot sweats seem to be starting earlier! Oh how I crave a decent nights sleep! 
Please do stay in touch!! I already miss seeing your messages!! Enjoy the summer, let's hope CV doesn't scupper too much. 
Much love

Caroline xx

Hi girls, Yorkshire_defector1 and cazrosie 

Nice to hear how you are both doing as we approach normal life post cancer, shame about the normality being a bit cockeyed because of Covid19. 

I am glad you are apparently recovering well from the rads, Sam, I hope being emotional isn't too hard for you, it seems to be a common result of taking all the hormones. I think it's a perfectly reasonable thing to feel a bit more emotional than usual after what you have experienced over the last months. Note I said experienced, not suffered, because as you say, some things have been lovely, like the support you had from your family and friends, so it hasn't all been bad.  Let me know how you go on with the Bisphosphonates, I've refused them so far.  I'm not worried about the Covid, but I'm again the victim of my children's fears, so I won't be going anywhere soon, even if lockdown is easing.  Actually, there was something in the news recently saying the R rate is increasing here in the North West, so I will stay put until it is really safe to go out and about.

Caroline,  there is nothing cosier than being wrapped up warm in a room that is cooled by an air conditioner. We had them for many years when living abroad and my daughter has them in her living room and bedroom.  I would have welcomed one over the last week or two but I had to make do with an open window and a fan. 

I'm glad to say my headaches and other aches and pains seem to be in remission for now.  I am like a different person when I'm pain free. I happened to say to my daughter a week or so ago, that I'd forgotten to tell her my headaches had eased, but she said she knew. When I asked how, she said because I'd stopped moaning about them! The knees are doing well, too. I am walking without pain because of the exercises, and it's nice to be able to take Archie out more than once a day, now, although the pain still comes and bites me sometimes at night. If it is bad enough,  I get up and take a pill but usually I'm too lazy to get up and fall asleep again.

I am being very good about locking the hearing aids away when I take them out, so Archie can't get them, no accidents, yet, although I have been known to forget which of the four boxes I put them in, as I go from room to room searching for them!

I am still painting, Caroline, I have done a colourful landscape with heeland coo, (highland cow) in acrylics this week. It only took a couple of days because the paints dry so quickly.  I suspect it is one I'm going to lose to my daughter because she never usually says much about my paintings, but the ones she does comment on usually end up at her house and when I showed it to her on FaceTime this morning she was very complimentary about it.  I have finally succumbed to the pleasure of listening to an audio book while I do my painting. It's great not having to choose between my two favourite pastimes. I listened to The Brightest Star in the Sky, by Marian Keyes, a hilariously funny book with the strangest of plots! The narrator was excellent, which is very important.  I have abandoned a few audio books because the narration was not to my taste.

I have an appointment booked for next month at the breast clinic, presumably, the delayed six month checkup, so I will definitely report to you both when (if) it happens.

Stay safe, stay healthy and stay happy!

Love

Christine xxx

HI y'all

its so nice to read such positive comments from this wonderful tribe of people, I couldn't help but respond to your message as like you I am recently diagnosed with bowel cancer - not very glamerous!!  

I sense that for many of us sharing our circumstances, diagnoisis and tips is a great way to feel more in control and simply knowing you are not alone can be so uplifting and stop some of those negative vibes getting a hold.  

I would pay good money to see Hugh Grant, older, grayer with his specs on his nose playing the wine waiter!!

I wish all a great evening and keep posting

fx

Hi Fran,

Glad you like our positivity! It's the only way to go.  The worst time, I think, is before treatment when your brain won't stop drifting to worse case scenarios.  I've just read your other posts and you sound just like we were at that stage,  if you read any of our messages to each other in the beginning, it was a lovely way for us to be positive, talking to people in the same situation, who weren't into doom and gloom. 
Luckily, you haven't got too long to wait until the little so and so is gone!  I know so many people who are living their lives fully and healthily, having had their cancer removed at the earliest stage. It's amazing how quickly life gets back to normal after recovering from the surgery.
 

Sorry about your arthritis, I have osteoarthritis, not as bad as rheumatoid, I know, but I could do without it. Hopefully, you'll get your PIP sorted.  I'm an old dear, so I just get my pension and glad, too. The only way I will be entitled to anything extra will be when I'm on my last legs, so I'll happily do without it.

Sadly as you have probably seen, one of our trio is back to the waiting and worrying stage. I'm sure that whatever the tests show, she will take it in her stride and will keep smiling. 

Good luck for the 13th (just had to check it wasn't a Friday) Phew!

Hugh Grant hasn't aged well, I fear. 

love

Christine xx

Morning all

Hope hospital visit is bearable Caroline and you're bearing up.  Are you taking it easy otherwise as you do seem to have quite hectic family/work commitments? Though we're close we are not wonder woman....

Hi Fran, glad you've enjoyed our ramblings....they help and entertain us, a win-win in my book, and if they help others then maybe that's a win-win-win?

Christine, that blummin Shakespeare was SUCH hard work and wasn't technically at the globe, probably best it was the Sam wannamaker playhouse as it was a bit nippy.....the bard is deffo not for this philistine! But an experience none the less.

Xx

Hi ladies, so ultrasound went well! She couldn't find anything that looked sinister. She said the lumps were muscle :laugh: so I am blaming my arm workouts at the gym! So that was a massive relief! CT on Thursday then hopefully results and positive so I can slip back into normal life!! 
Love you guys - your messages have perked me up, as usual! 
Caroline x

Whoopeee!!!  Can't wait to hear Thursday. I am up early today as I am going on a silent protest at our health trust headquarters to protest at them taking the contract off our  current wonderful health centre team and giving it to a multi centre company!  Our doctor says she won't stay if they go ahead and we don't want to lose her.  It feels like I'm back to my student days!  I'm always up for a good protest !

Excellent news Caroline...get you and your guns! Those workouts must be quite punishing. Still got one finger crossed re CT scan, I wonder whether that will show that you're good for the next Olympics eh?

Go Christine! Good cause and all that though if I was protesting Im not sure I'd be able to remain quiet,it does take quite alot of effort at the best of times:happy: (that is meant to be a happy face but looks decidedly odd as I type). Right bike ride time... whoopee.

xx

Hi Sam and Caroline,

Our silent protest turned out to be anything but silent.  Every time a possible member of the board arrived suited and booted for the meeting, some idiot man with a loud voice would start shouting "Save *** Health Centre, and everyone else joined in!  We hovered around for about an hour, not  really with any plan, because our leaders had gone in to the meeting, which was supposed to go on for three hours.  However, one of those people came out and said as our item was not on the public agenda in the morning, but would be held in private in the afternoon, they had left but the chair of the board had made some conciliatory comments that had given them some hope.  We sort of drifted away in dribs and drabs then and I haven't heard anything since.   I must have a look at their social media pages to see what's happening.

Caroline, hope you're ok.

Lots of love

 Christine xx

Hi Sam and Caroline,

Our silent protest turned out to be anything but silent.  Every time a possible member of the board arrived suited and booted for the meeting, some idiot man with a loud voice would start shouting "Save *** Health Centre, and everyone else joined in!  We hovered around for about an hour, not  really with any plan, because our leaders had gone in to the meeting, which was supposed to go on for three hours.  However, one of those people came out and said as our item was not on the public agenda in the morning, but would be held in private in the afternoon, they had left but the chair of the board had made some conciliatory comments that had given them some hope.  We sort of drifted away in dribs and drabs then and I haven't heard anything since.   I must have a look at their social media pages to see what's happening.

Caroline, hope you're ok.

Lots of love

 Christine xx

Hi Christine & Sam,

I have chuckled at your messages about being a protestor, Christine. Well done you for standing up for what you believe in!

I'm doing ok. Scans/tests all done, now we wait! My theory is the longer I don't hear, the more likely it's nothing sinister. Feel like the ostrich who wants to bury their head in the sand. Feeling positive most of the time. Reckon I'll have to wait a couple of weeks, at least. 
Thank you both, for checking in I really do appreciate it. Will let you know when I hear anything. I'm sure all will be fine. 
Caroline 

Morning!

When I started reading your note Christine I was immediately envisaging the police carrying you off from the front line of a protest, Greta Thunberg style...not sure whether it was good it turned a bit noisy? I think these things are emotional so difficult for some to keep in check (I'm in that group).  Hope that you get what you want to benefit your community.

Caroline

Hope the wait is a bit more palatable now you know you're a champion weight lifter and yep your logic I share re the fact that you wouldn't wait if there were bad news. I've started having more uncomfortable under arm 'pain' as the nerves apparently can start mending themselves...well thanks nerves!  Nothing to write home about but does mean I need to stick my hand/arm in the air more often, doesn't bother me but can cause a lot of confusion in others (something I relish anyway).

All good here, had a trip at weekend to see what they'd done to battersea power station (love an old building) and despite it being surrounded by hideous flats its very good, great shops and food places inside and the control room still has all the knobs, bells and whistles and is a cocktail bar...I mean who could ask for more eh?  Worth a trip if you're ever in these dodgy southern parts.  So that's another mission completed on my extensive London bucket list pre Yorkshire move.

Have a good week ladies X

Ladies, just a quick message before i traipse off on a dog walk. My CT scan came back clear! No cancer in my lungs, liver or stomach! So not sure what the problem was! Stress maybe?! My weight loss (unfortunately :wink: has steadied out) and my breathing isn't as bad. Maybe I'd caught Covid a while ago and wasn't aware?! 
Anyway, I am over the moon and now off to enjoy my day/life!!

Love you you all 

Caroline xx

Hooray!  
I am delighted to hear this good news. And I'm sure I can speak for Sam, too!  Obviously Hawaii wasn't the place for you! :laugh: 
Lesson to learn, no stressing!  Having said that, I'm pretty sure I wasn't half so laid back when I still had family responsibilities and work, too! Sad about the weight loss - similar to me when I first started on the Letrozole, first six weeks, adjustment, a bit of nausea and lovely weight loss.  Subsequently - nausea gone, good! Weight loss stopped, not so good! Still better to be fat, happy and healthy than thin and sick! Actually I can't say I'm fat, just a few pounds heavier than I would like but too lazy to do anything about it. 

At least we all got to catch up!  Next time without the worry, I hope.  I actually inserted an emoji on that top line that has changed to the word laugh.  I'm wondering now, what will appear when I post this!

Lots of love

Christine xx

Ahh, the emoji came up, I'll have to remember that next time I need to explain my feelings in pictures!

Woohoo!!

Now thats over can I suggest a book or dvd re your weight loss :laugh:

And deffo crack on with that life!

I've my last cancer treatment next week,. No more zolodex or bisphosphonate.... coincidentally the last one is the first anniversary of my father's death...make of that what you will !

love to both xx

Hi Sam, Hi Caroline

I have only just seen, Sam, that you are finally finished with all that cancer gubbins! Good on you!  Don't do too much cycling or other kinds of madness now, just because you are back to being super woman!

I am delighted to announce that our protests about the change of providers at our doctors' surgery have been successful!!!!!  The decision to award the contract to a private consortium has been withdrawn as the board agree that they didn't do enough to inform patients about the possibility of losing our wonderful  health centre, as we knew it. They are going to keep the status quo for another 18 months, then will start a completely new process, with considerably more patient consultation.  We are delighted, to say the least.  I have an appointment there on Thursday to get the old knees injected, and it will be a much happier appointment than I was expecting.  

Lots of love

Christine xx
 

Crikey that took some doing….I hope this message a) finds you!! And b) finds you both WELL!

I could obviously recall your real names but couldn’t;t for the life of me think of your user names (obviously also took this Luddite an inordinate amount of time to change password, fathom how this new look site works etc.) thankfully could remember Christines dog-brand…got there eventually.

It’s been far too long ( I keep thinking and then forget!) since we knew what we were up to.  All blummin’ marvellous here, now free of the two challenges in my life (work last year) which now includes boyfriend this year…he was becoming far too challenging and am far better without.

I’ve been working my way through my ‘London to-do’ list this year and there’s a lot still on it…some highlights were Karl Orff’s Carmina Buruna at the Royal Albert Hall, Gershwins Rhapsody in Blue at the Royal College of Music as well as Speakers House and the cosmic house…all bonkers in their own ways.  Also made a grave mistake and went to Lanzarote in September, I thought it would be early 20 degrees and it was far too hot for me, despite being under a parasol with tonnes of factor 50 on I got sun burn…never again!  I did however see an amazing thing there…a hedgehog, who’d have thought eh?

I’ve just signed up for ‘our future health’ and have my blood test and other things measured tomorrow, this would be exciting if it wasn’t in the car park of the local Asda….but like the principle behind it, anything we can do to improve health of the nation is a winner in my book.

Am still absolutely loving my cycling and gymming and have only had a few ridiculous falls off the bike this year (by being an idiot and trying to do too many things at once, once fell off when I had both feet on the floor - I ask you!).

So this Christmas having no partner (thank the lord!) am going to be volunteering Christmas Day at the local church who feed the needy…watch out Mother Theresa eh?  Got offers to join southern and northern pals but would rather be alone plus if I travel I can’t drink!!!  And I’d rather chop my nose off rather than drive up north any time around Christmas- once decided the roads would be fine in between Christmas and New Year and found out the hard way this was far from a good idea.

Hope your health is good ladies, mine is cracking.  Had a bone scan following completion of treatments and I’m shrinking…used to be 5’6 (years ago) and now 5’4…that’ll be the osteopenia, yay! Also this year I had a nipple tattoo on the new boob, its amazing what they can do.

I’ve decided the only things I miss re work are stationary supplies and printing facilities!  Yep, still glad I stopped doing that a year ago.  

So am still planning on moving up north though there’s still some southern adventures I want to do - that’s  so much easier to do from down here…cemeteries to visit (favourite one this year Brompton, catacombs and everything), odd houses to visit and more amazing music.  Planning a move oop north 2027, that’s when I run out of money!

Right enough waffle from me, just a quick (is there ever such a think from these quarters??) catch up.

Enjoy the festive period (and for me cooler weather….Love it).

Sam