I have just been diagnosed with stage 4 secondary liver cancer. I felt I was in free fall whe I was told a few ago. I want to run but I can't.  We are a member of a club we do not want to be in and yet more that a third of people will get cancer. It's terrifying. I'm finding hard it to be the sick one too. I'm the fixer and doer in my family and I can't get used to not being that person any more. 

I wish you good luck with treatment. I also find Maggie's centre invaluable for counseling at the moment they have save me a few times ️

Hello 747, my heart goes out to you, I can feel the free fall you are feeling. Thank you for taking the time to write to me. I wish you the strength to bear this without such anguish and hope you find the support you need. x

Thanks Christine,
Will ask my BCN re the DEXA scan and heads up re biphosphates noted as they have been mentioned.  My BCN nurse also mentioned oral chemo...great!  But often she's quite off the mark so am not getting too excited at this stage.

I can't imagine my surgery will be any different, its a mastectomy RHS and wire excision LHS (just found out they put the wires in the day before so will achieve my life goal of joining the Borg).  I will be taking it easy but will be looking to do a little more than just blummin' walk after 3/4 weeks...I'll go crazy otherwise.

So got my v pillow, my front fastening bra, a softie, a knitted knocker (great charity), shoulder bag for drain and small heart pillow so we're all good to go!

My main challenge this week has been trying to get sister back to Taiwan without going via China, as most flights do.  She was booked on a flight which meant she'd have to travel from one Chinese airport to another...best avoided I think, plus if she goes near China she has to be in self imposed quarantine for 14 days.  We tried to get her some masks (that her employers are insisting all workers wear) and the pharmacies over here are already cashing in, the cheapest work out at £1.50 each, in Taiwan they are now government controlled and charge a max of 3p!  Anyway the boyfriend managed to get some on (although I hate using it) Amazon so she'll be fine, although he did point out that she may as well just get some string and strap a tenner to her face...
So yesterday we went, whilst in London, to the airline she's flying back with (as they're not answering mails or phone calls) to cancel return leg via china to be told they've changed her flight anyway, still via different Chinese airports but now she can cancel as they've changed flight which makes life easier.

So fairly dull rest of week in run up to operation, am hoping at some point that they'll let me know the time and also when to be in day before for radiation injection though no doubt that will also be very late in the day too.

Was thinking of your dicky knees yesterday when on bike and could definitely feel mine...need to up my physio exercises (that I am rubbish at remembering to do except when at gym).  However given will be needing to to arm exercises for a while could add them on I guess...every cloud and all that!  Hope the knee injection helped.

I also think it's important not to disrupt the fabric of the universe by not getting up before the alarm...not had any toilet related accidents yet but its been close...

And I want to hear that the new hearing aids have no Archie dribble on them.

How are the oil features progressing?  Can't recall if I told you but in the sprinting of trying to be "creative" (well as creative as I can be - its got to have a practical edge) I have some cushions that need creating, this will be a job post surgery...lets see how many failed attempts it takes eh?  Zip or no zip is the question given only machine sewed 30 years ago and that was to put patches on jeans (that I was exceptionally good at!).

Caroline & Christine

How are you both doing re low moods? How long will you give the Tamoxifen if things are not/don't improve - as presumably there's other hormone tablets available?

Got, as well as insertion of wire & injection of radiation on Weds my 2nd zolodex which other than mad sweats doesn't appear (thankfully) to be giving me any problems...the Letrozole will need to be taken at some point soon I guess,  when were you supposed to start taking your hormone tablets?

Joined a facebook DIEP group but think I need to stop reading all the posts (some horror stories!) and just read one how you shouldn't/can't do any abdominal exercises for 18 months post DIEP surgery! Seems a long time and I like my pathetic attempts at building a none-pack!  Some good photos though of what's to come on the other side.

Need to make an effort to clean house before op but that said, think I'll have a sofa day today - its a little blowy outside....watch out Archie doesn't take off (what type of dog is yours Caroline?).

Sam X

Hi,

You are impressively organised, although you have been waiting for this for a long time. I certainly had it easy just going straight for the surgery.  They wanted me to start the Letrozole two weeks after my second op, but I managed to avoid it for another six weeks or so.  Now I think I might be getting away easily with that, too, as my side effect symptoms are minor compared to the pain I had in my knee.   Pain, which I am delighted to say, is considerably diminished since Thursday. My wonderful doctor injected both knees and I woke up on Friday morning pain free!!! It still hurts a bit now and then but nothing like it was before. I think my knees are going to send him a valentine card!  In the afternoon I had to go for the new hearing aids and do some shopping so I didn't rest the knees as much as I was supposed to, but I am 90% better than I was so I'm not complaining.  I am so much better that yesterday Archie and I went for a long walk up the lane at the end of our cul de sac, leading to two fisheries, several fields of sheep and ending up at the deer farm.The horses have been taken indoors for the winter and there were only six deer outside, the rest were probably in their covered shelter, sensible creatures.

My new hearing aids are amazing, I can now hear myself saying words beginning with 's' whereas before I had lost all such high frequency sounds.  I don't need subtitles on the telly and the volume is down to normal!  The aids are being put away, religiously, at night and stashed on top of the wardrobe, way out of Archie's reach. I hope I remember to do that every time I remove them.

I had to go to a different hospital the day before the surgery to get my radioactive injection.  It was nothing, I didn't even go blue!  I had a letter telling me to phone the ward at 6pm the night before surgery to find out when I needed to go in. I was quite surprised the first time when they said come in at 8o'clock, we were in the pub!  By the time I went for the second op it was old hat. 

It was lucky that your sister came over when she did, she or she could be languishing in quarantine in China already. What a palaver getting her flight cancelled.  What are her plans now then?

My painting still has very vague features, in fact the man's have been wiped out as I realised I hadn't made his face quite long enough. He's wearing a smart jacket now, a decent shirt and a half done tie. It has a pattern on it that will need a small brush and steady hand to get even a rough likeness, so I will wait until everything else is finished and dry before doing that. The lady still has orange hair and vaguely recognisable features, not that they are hers, necessarily. Her jacket now looks ok but her dress has a pattern that I'm going to struggle with.  I might use artistic license and give her a different dress altogether. I'm only going to start her face and hair after her husband is done because he is easier to get a decent likeness as he has strong features, whereas she is quite pretty, not what an artist wants to paint, at all! I have to wait another day or two to see if today's efforts are dry.

Today I thought I was going to get away without walking Archie as every time I opened the door and offered him out he gave me a look and went back in. However, there was a window in the cloud for about half an hour and we went for a short walk. There was a lot of debris on the main road from old trees that border one side but the rain held off until we got blown back indoors. He looks funny in the wind with all his hair blowing in all directions.

Enjoy the next couple of days, and I hope all your preparation makes things easier for you come d-day.  If we don't hear from you before, all the best for your surgery and hope to hear from you after the event all bright eyed and bushy tailed.

Christine xxx

Hi ladies,

So my mood has lifted and feel ok again, just constantly tired but I can live with that. Might mention it at my 6 month check up in April, if still happening then.

Sam, count down now!! Are you feel a bit apprehensive? They were going to do the wire insertion before my surgery, which I was worried about but then there was no need as the surgeon was confident that the lump was big enough for her to find. 
My dog is a springer spaniel. He is 9 years old and quite a lazy but intelligent dog! He's a proper mummy's boy. 

Keep us informed with how it goes on Thursday! The day after my surgery I felt like pants, but due more to the anaesthetic I think. By the second day I was out walking the dog and making jam! I joined a fb breast cancer group but left after a week as I found it too depressive!!! I didn't want to hear all the awful stories and wanted to stay positive, so left. 
Christine, how wonderful to hear that your knee is so much better!! And that your painting is going well!! Good news about the new hearing aids too - just make sure you remember to put them away!! 
My hubby is taking my 3 boys away next week, snow boarding until next Sunday. I don't do snowboarding as broke my arm at the local practise dome!! I will miss them all terribly but will be in bed very early I reckon.  Then I'm off to Iceland in a couple of weeks, for a friend's 50th. So busy times ahead!! 
Take care lovely ladies and look forward to hearing your news soon.

Caroline xx
 

Hi Caroline, 

I find my mood has lifted since my knee stopped hurting so much, but, like you, I feel desperately tired. If I can get my *** into gear and start doing something, I'm ok but I could sit on it all day before it can move. I am sleeping very well, so that's a positive. I'm using a Fitbit that my daughter passed on to me when she got an upgrade. I only use it to see how much exercise I am getting in a day and how much sleep I get at night. My daily step count isn't fantastic but it is improving every week.

i am shocked to hear your Springer is lazy, is it just his age? When I had one I couldn't tire him out. I never knew such an active dog. They are smart though, not like my dozy bones Archie, who isn't interested if it isn't edible or expensive to replace.

You'll be able to rest a bit more when the family are off on their jollies. It sounds like you are really getting your life back together and it's good to hear.  I'm getting there, too. Now my knee is less troublesome I shall be doing far more then I have been.

Christine xx

Hi Sam,

Just wanted to send my love in preparation of tomorrow's surgery! Have everything crossed it all goes according to plan!! Hope the wire thingie went ok today!! Let us know how it all goes and how you are.

caroline xx

Hi Sam, 

Just wanted to send my best wishes for tomorrow, You might already be in hospital as I write this, so get your eye blinds on and earplugs in or you won't get any sleep, as you know. 

Look forward to hearing that everything has gone ok and you are facing the world in your own inimitable way!

Christine xxx

C&C

Cheers ladies, thanks for the wishes, really nice.  Especially on the back of a full day at the hospital, a near fainting incident (apparently it happens quite often) and one boob with wire in it (and outside of it too...its a bit painful when I use LHS) and the other with radiation in it (injection made me swear...so unlike me...yeah right).

So am well pooped after a full on day, on the plus side should hopefully sleep well.  In at 11 for surgery in the afternoon (no idea what time...what's new?).

The next time I write I will be down a DD!  And good blummin riddance. Bring on the morphine (I can but hope).

Sam X

Best of luck.  Have been following you but haven't contributed to chat.  I was lucky, lump found last July. Op to remove just the lump in August.  All clear and limph nodes clear too.  4 weeks of radiotherapy November/December.  Now on Letrozole with no ill effects.  See Consultant next Monday to be hopefully signed off all clear.  Stay positive.

Just a quick note to let you know it all went swimmingly, am now 614 grams lighter!

Pain negligible, drain very annoying as is cold that I have and glad to say constipation appears to be easing (green poo was an interesting development!).

Will write more soon when Mother clears off later on today.

Sam X

Yay!!! Glad to hear it went well. Rest now and we'll catch up soon!

Christine

Yay!!! Glad to hear it went well. Rest now and we'll catch up soon!

Christine