I have just been diagnosed with stage 4 secondary liver cancer. I felt I was in free fall whe I was told a few ago. I want to run but I can't.  We are a member of a club we do not want to be in and yet more that a third of people will get cancer. It's terrifying. I'm finding hard it to be the sick one too. I'm the fixer and doer in my family and I can't get used to not being that person any more. 

I wish you good luck with treatment. I also find Maggie's centre invaluable for counseling at the moment they have save me a few times ️

Hello 747, my heart goes out to you, I can feel the free fall you are feeling. Thank you for taking the time to write to me. I wish you the strength to bear this without such anguish and hope you find the support you need. x

Oh no Sam!! What a bummer!! Fingers crossed they manage to get you sorted and sent home.

Chemo really isn't a fun activity is it!! I thank my lucky stars that I missed out - although at the time I did feel cheated that I didn't need it!! I am sure your bf will have managed to acquire a turkey!! But I'm sure a beef joint would be more lovely and less dry!

Christine, thank God you get to avoid chemo too. Another positive to take from a *** journey. Good to hear that they are trying to sort out your dodgy knee too. 
I am still fighting with myself re my tamoxifen. I'm taking it occasionally but not regular like I should. I just feel that why should I put myself through the side effects if the % chance of the cancer coming back are not too high anyway. I've also got to start taking some adcal tablets, due to my lower than normal bone density. Haven't picked them up either. I think I really begrudge all this medication when I've always been so healthy!!

Took my hubby to the Celtic Manor yesterday for an over night stay, for his birthday. I booked us massages in the spa too but had to lie on the health declaration as I knew they wouldn't allow me a treatment if I declared I'd had cancer. It's happened to a few friends of mine and quite a lot of places won't let you have a massage until you are between 3 and 5 years clear.  I then worried about the fact I have a huge scar that runs round onto my back so opted for a facial instead :D But on a positive, we have just received the payment through after claiming on our critical illness cover!! So every cloud!!

Christine, hope that boob stops trying to grow back and that knee starts to improve soon. And Sam, fingers crossed they sort out your temp and you get to go home soon!!

Love Caroline XX 

Hi both,

I was going to come on here tonight to see if you were ok, Caroline as I hadn't heard anything for a while and lo and behold there was a message from you.

Sam, my naughty dog has done all the eating of furniture, clothing, electrical wiring etc  in his puppy days and it really is an improvement that he is only going for vaguely edible stuff now. I am seriously considering the muzzle!

I watched Click on BBC News, today and one of the presenters has recently been down our road i.e. Breast cancer street, and allowed them to film her having chemo with her cold cap, one of the most noticeable things about it was she had a port, not a cannula. She said it was her choice because she plays the piano and wanted to protect her hands .

I was really shocked to hear you are in A&E again, your immune system has really taken a beating, hasn't it? I think the doc asked about your taking paracetamol because one of its properties is it reduces Fever.  Thank goodness your white blood cells are doing their job, that's why your temp rises as they fight the little blighters that are trying to infect you! It's a tish time to be in hospital. Good job you've got a man who looks after you!.  By the time your surgery comes round it will be a doddle after all the problems with the chemo  

Caroline, I wouldn't worry about the Adcal, my daughter has been taking them for a long time as she is dairy intolerant and she hasn't noticed any side effects.  I can so understand your feelings about the Tamoxifen. Do you feel ok when you do take it? I feel hypocritical because I want to tell you to take it, when I might not, but you have more at stake than I have and if I was twenty years younger I would probably take everything offered if it kept me alive, it's just because I am old and cynical now that I feel differently.

My daughter and I have finally discussed Christmas Day, and we are going to have a takeaway curry. She will pick it up the day before and we will reheat it at her house, Simples!

My cleavage is growing again, I could get away with a low cut dress if I was so inclined but it isn't hurting so I'll pretend it is supposed to be like that. My knee, however is going to be a work in progress for a while.  That reminds me, I haven't taken my painkillers yet, must do that now.

Sam, I hope you are well enough to go home soon and have a great Christmas, and Caroline, I wish you and your family a great Christmas also.

Love

Christine xx

Thanks both, its rapidly becoming a bit of a farce.

In on Friday evening then back home, in on Saturday then back home...

And am now back in A&E, different hospital though as clear the last one were not the best....am more hopeful that the team here, where I have my chemo, will stop this temperature yo-yo!

Hopefullt they're soon to tell me what the crack is...where's Dr House when you need him eh?

X

Oh Sam! This is not funny. Effing bliddy cancer drugs. I don't do the praying thing, but I am sending all my energy out to the cosmos or wherever that the fever comes down soon. I don't care if I do getntold off for swearing! This kind of thing is enough to make a saint swear.  

C x

Oh Sam!!! That's pants!!! Fingers crossed you will be able to get back home soon!!!

caroline XX 

HURRAH!!  Finally had an A&E free day.  The temp stayed down and am feeling a bit better.  Was not happy yesterday but thankfully that's now behind me and can focus on festivities.

Thanks for the support there - I needed it!

Happy (and it is now) Christmas XX

Ladies I just want to say thank you for being so brave for sharing your stories which have really helped me to understand what my mum is going through.

My mum was diagnosed last week with early stage grade 3 breast cancer and is having her lumpectomy tomorrow.

Sorry if this sounds crazy but I feel like I'm seeing signs everywhere that something bad will happen during the operation.

Luckily my mum is staying super positive!

just wondered if anyone else experienced this seeing "signs" everywhere?

thank you from a worried daughter

Hi Seashell84,

so sorry to hear about your mum. But try and stay positive!! We are/have all coped in our own ways and breast cancer research has come on so much these days, that it's more of an inconvience than anything else!! I didn't want to be mollycoddled and wanted to carry on as normal. Try not to wrap your mum in Cotton wool - I am sure she will appreciate your support and help but let her get on without making a fuss.

We are happy to lend you an ear if you need us 

caroline xx

Hi Caroline,

Thank you so much for your reply ️
Yes that's really good advice to not make too much of a fuss and let her get on.

We do lots of things together so have just been trying to keep her mind occupied.

Just want to get to the point of tomorrow when she's come round from her lumpectomy.

Thank you again for the advice

Michelle xxx

Hi Michelle,

Hope all goes ok today, with your mum's op. Let us know how it goes. We have fingers crossed.

Caroline x

Hi Michelle,

Hope all goes ok today, with your mum's op. Let us know how it goes. We have fingers crossed.

Caroline x