Hi there guys, 

My mum has recently been diagnosed with incurable lung cancer, and has been offered chemo/radiotherapy to prolongue her life. I am having an incredibly hard time trying to process all of this, and often find myself going into states of denial. I am 21 years old, with three fantastic brothers, a loving father and a mum who has been my bestest friend. Whilst I can manage to keep myself positive and hopeful when I am speaking with my mum, as soon as I am without her completely fall apart. The doctors suggested without treatment, she would live around 8 months, and with treatment, about a year and a half. Are these predictions based off of general statistics, or on the individual patient themselves? Something I just can't get my head around, is the fact that my mum at the moment is absolutely fine, she doesn't look or feel ill, it just doesn't make much sense. I've never felt so much pain. My mum is so scared, all I want is to make it better and fix everything but i can't.

My emotions come in waves. I have a constant heaviness in my chest and a feeling of sickness, which creaps up to my throat when i'm feeling really sad, and sometimes I feel incredibly positive, full of hope and enthusiasm. Something I have found is that grieving is just like a cold; it hits you the hardest first thing in the morning, and last thing at nightime. I spend all of my days dreading nightime, because everything I have tried to shut out comes creeping back up on me, and when i wake up in the morning, remembering whats happening hits me all over again.

The diagnosis is so hard to process, because we have absolutely no control over it, you just have to carry on. It's hard to take that in.

The medical notes have said the cancer is incurable but chemotherapy will prolongue her life... do you think there is any chance she could pull through this? She has always been very skinny, so i'm focusing on bulking her up and keeping her healthy for the chemotherapy. If she responds well to the chemotherapy, do you think theres a chance she could make it? 

I am so sad for her because I know she's afraid she'll miss out on so much, so i'm pushing her to fight and stay positive, just in case theres a chance.

My heart is absolutely broken, and often those closest to you just don't know what to say. Usually when im down I go to my mum for advice and support, but under these circumstances i've been staying positive around her, and therefore not confiding in her much about this, do you think this is the best thing to do? I stumbled across this page and decided that perhaps this may be a way of getting all of this out of my head. 

Thank you for reading!