Oh Jules forgive my post on my site to you .....I am so sorry not to have known of your hubbies departure.  You know from the support you have given me how well I understand your current situation and my heart goes out to you.  My site tells of my joirney through this uncharted place you find yourself in.  It is difficult but you will come through.

All my thoughts and a big virtual hug

Ian x

Hi Ian

Just lovely to see your name appear on my thread and suspect its just as hard for you to post but I really appreciate the message.  It was a long three years for hubby and I take much comfort in the fact that he is now free from the clutches of his disease which took his happiness away.  I am surrounded by the love of my family and friends (and the ongoing support of virtuality buddies) and now, like you, my life must be lived to the best of my ability. Early days still but so many memories to cherish and share with others - a few late nights of 'story-telling' along the way.

Sending hugs and best wishes and hope all is well with you and Julie in your new life.  Jules x

Good morning Jules,

Hope you have not got too cold on your Sunday morning walk. Although it's bright and sunny here in Sussex, the wind is very cold. So pleased you have got your internet problem sorted. Funily enough, some years ago I had  exactly the same problem, even the same supplier who had been insisting for weeks there wasnt a problem. Am now with another Provider.

Just wanted to wish you well for your return to work tommorow, another step on your journey. I had all this written out once and dont know what happened, if I pressed the wrong button or what but I lost it all much to my disgust. I am glad thing are progressing with regard to your mothers situation and best luck with the form filling, something I hate doing. I find some things they write on the forms are unclear and could have several different meanings so I will be thinking of you.

Take care and I hope you have a relaxing and peaceful day after your walk. Best wishes being sent your way, Brian.

Hi Jules,  so glad the engineer has sorted out your internet problems and that you are able to stay online with us without any problems now.  Wishing you all the best for your return to work tomorrow. I'm sure it will be strange in many ways, I remember finding it odd returning to routine, as life was going on the same when mine had changed so much, however it was also good to keep occupied.  Take care.  Hope x

Hi Jules thinking of you take care lol george

Love and best wishes for work tomorrow Jules x

Hi Jules,

Just a quick message to wish you well on first day back. Im still having issues with ease of use of this site so take advantage when I get in. You seem to be doing well and from my own experience you are doing all the right things. Its good to keep yourself busy: especially in the evenings.  Do remember to collect the 2000 pounds government hand out to all widows. You have to ask for it, they scandoously dont just give it.

Lots of kind thoughts and a big virtual hug

Ian x

Hi Jules,

I just want to mirror what Jo has said and sharing her belief that your colleagues have no doubt been and will continue to look after you after your return to work.

My return has been somewhat hectic which I expected but I will have to have a word with the guys who were taking care of things in my abscence as problems were caused that didn't need to be there.  Hey Ho!

Take care friend.

Garf. xx

Hir Brian

Had a long walk yesterday morning visiting my usual Farmer's Market (have a new cheese to try - goats cheese with garlic and nettles!!) and did a bit of shopping before having a French Manicure as a little treat!(my excuse is that this will protect my nails upon return to work ha ha).

First day back was fine; everyone as expected very supportive (protective) and not too busy so able to 'find my feet' with new promotions etc.  My friend who does not work Mondays met me afterwards and we went to try a new teashop (named The Wonky Teapot).  It was their first day and though a bit at sixes and sevens still enjoyed our natter over tea and toasted teacake. Everything felt strangely surreal but am sure once back into usual routine it will be like it was before and its another hurdle breached so to speak.

Will visit Mum tomorrow morning after my GP appointment and then seeing 'Mr Probate' in the early evening when hopefully he will take all the notes/paperwork he requires to take things forward (not exactly a restful day off but handy to be able to fit things in when not working).

Take care and all the very best to you and MRs B.  Kind thoughts Jules x

Thanks Kathy, all went okay and its good to be back into some sort of weekly routine again and dealing with 'normal' daily stuff.  Pretty chilly today but dry and having enjoyed snack with my friend after work am now cocooned in front of the fire with yet another cuppa and trying to decide on what to have for dinner (treated myself to some 'osterich' (apologies for any veggies out there) and fish when I went shopping over the weekend so spoilt for choice.

Hope all is well with you and the family and its not too hot to be enjoying the outside space (my daughter very envious that you have koalas close by (they got engaged whilst on holiday in Australia (staying with friends) and she did the usual tourist thing of holding one and has been smitten ever since!

Take care and thanks again for your support.  Big hugs  Jules

Thanks Kathy, all went okay and its good to be back into some sort of weekly routine again and dealing with 'normal' daily stuff.  Pretty chilly today but dry and having enjoyed snack with my friend after work am now cocooned in front of the fire with yet another cuppa and trying to decide on what to have for dinner (treated myself to some 'osterich' (apologies for any veggies out there) and fish when I went shopping over the weekend so spoilt for choice.

Hope all is well with you and the family and its not too hot to be enjoying the outside space (my daughter very envious that you have koalas close by (they got engaged whilst on holiday in Australia (staying with friends) and she did the usual tourist thing of holding one and has been smitten ever since!

Take care and thanks again for your support.  Big hugs  Jules

Hi Kathy

Had problems getting access on the site for a few attempts - despite signing in still kept asking for me to sign in. Still here now.

Am sure it is wonderful to be close to the wetlands and having regular birdsong (even if a bit too noisy on occasion).  I am lucky enough to have lots of garden birds currently visiting the feeding stations in my garden and gave the blackbirds (re-visiting pair) and the robins an extra treat of chopped raisins and suet as it was such a chilly start. This afternoon had 8 goldfinches arguing over the niger seed and bluetits on the suet block.  Do not seem to fazed by the visiting felines either.

Visit to Mum as a little later today as I had GP appointment first ( she is having me attend once a month for post bereavement check ups - so far so good apparently!!). Spent an hour with Mum before being told I could go as she wanted to go into early lunch  but it was good to have a smile or two and to hear that she was happy with new social worker (he must have used some charm!!).  Hope by the end of this week to have completed all the financial forms to send to Social Services t o help with assessment and then it will be the wait and see game ( a repeat of 2013 procedure but praying for a better outcome this time round).

Do hope your solicitor bucks his ideas up as you really do not need the stress related to this side of your affairs and accuracy is so essential in legal affairs.  Am hoping that the choice we have made with regards to the company  that  I am appointing (representative calling this evening to formally begin the process) will help take this side of things off my hands and have a stack of papers ready for him to collect. Thankfully his last comment to me was that as the Will was so simple and I am only beneficiary they do not expect it to be complicated but its a 'due process' so will not be crossing any bridges just yet ha ha.

You are so right that getting back to usual routines of life helps though am finding that if things go a little haywire I do not cope as well as I used to (maybe in time eh!). Take care my Scottish Aussie virtual friend. Sending peaceful thoughts and hugs.  Jules x

Well done Jules - for your good news. Things are slowly getting better and I am not surprised your garden is full of birds - they all love you!! I am glad your mum is settling in well and enjoying what the place has to offer.

My mum keeps being put into hospital and we have told the home to only do this in dire emergency. She finds it all so confusing and disruptive

all the very best to yoy

Steven xx

Hi Steven

My Mum has only had to be taken to the hospital twice in the two years she has been in residential care thankfully.  However she is not in a nursing home so it is always on the advice of their attending GP  when this happens. It is always so confusing and upsetting when their routines are changed.  Unfortunately with Mum's bi polar mental disorder all she wishes for most of the time is for the end to come sooner rather than later (there is no dementia and she reaches the ripe old age of 89 in May). We as the family can only do our best to keep her safe.

I cannot believe that a month has passed since hubby was set free from his illness.  Still feel a little like I am on autopilot as we cope day to day but having handed over the 'probate' to the professionals yesterday my mind is a little freer from the legalities and the grieiving process continues at its own pace.

Have babysitting the grandchildren to look forward to on Friday (its my turn to have a 'sleepover') as daughter and son in law are at a wedding reception (my son is best man) for good friends and it will be lovely to have something to celebrate.

Hope you and Anne have a peaceful day.  Hugs  Jules

Hi Kathy

Hope you will find the time to to relax  (though I know how much keeping busy helps with our 'over-thinking things!!) and are putting your feet up so you will be refreshed int time for the arrival of your family and the happiness the wedding celebrations with bring (I also know there will be difficult emotions/memories so give yourself some TLC in the meantime.  Am thinking of you and thank you for your continued support and listening to my inane ramblings.  Look after  yourself- big hugs.  Jules x

Hi Jules,

Am glad to read that your return to work went well. Thinking of you as you continue along your journey and sending best wishes as always.   Hope x

Thanks Hope,its lovely to have the support of my forum buddies when I log on from time to time. Do findI cannot concentrate on much for very long but know I must get down to sorting things out around the house at some stage. Not rushing things as I am sure I will get on with it when I feel it is right. Hope you and the family are well.  Jules x

Jules,

Just sending you  hugs . Wish we had pm to chat privately. You are in my thoughts often.

Hugs 

Annabel. xx

Thanks Annabel and hugs returned.  Its very sad that the PM situation has not yet been resolved and perhaps now the biggest problem with the 'new' layout.  Certainly many of the 'old school' regulars  would, I know, find it useful as you do not necessarily want to 'lay bare' all that is going on in your life through 'open' forum'.  I still think it strange that with today's advances in technology, they cannot reinstate the very thing that made the old forum special - choice on how to post.

Following the difficulties surrounding the registration of hubby's death, all should be resolved next Thursday but it has made an already sad time incredibly emotionally draining for me and especially the children. Moving forward in the journey is definitely a step by step process and soon we will also have the official complaints procedure to follow through.  Hubby must be sending us strength as we continue to cope.

Hope you and the family are all keeping well.  Peaceful thoughts sent your way.  Jules x