I notice no one has replied so thought I'd pop on and say how can you feel a fraud after all you've gone through.  Having had a full hysterectomy myself I know it's not an easy thing to go through and very painful and a long recovery period.  Some of us bounce back and just because we don't look unwell doesn't mean we are OK, what sort of people doubt you, not friends, so they're not really important to you.  My husband has cancer, incurable but he's never looked ill, even when we shaved his head people thought he'd had a new haircut and compliments were given, so see it works in other ways, he lost his hair but it wasn't something that made him look worse.  My friend Anne has just been through the same as you but needed chemotherapy, lost her hair but pre ordered wigs so no one has seen her without hair.  Just ignore them, be happy you're OK and just smile sweetly, you're the one that counts, not them, well done on your recovery.  Carol 

Hi these people who don't believe you are not very good friends if they don't believe you.

I've been living with cancer since being diagnosed, Feb 2016  I was still working part time, I'm on permanent treatment and some chemo . couple of years ago i had to retire to look after my wife who has Alzheimer's and Parkinson's plus other problems. Unless I tell someone what's wrong with me they don't know and if they are told they look at me strange like I'm lieing. I just don't worry about it get on with my life,I always had a bit of paperwork from specialist to show to boss, even though he believed me.just in case., .alot of people  look well before, during and after treatment only someone who's been through it really understands so please just don't let it get to you it not worth it, and some people aren't worth explaining things to.

Good luck with your future plans.

Billy

Well said Billy.  Carol xk

Hello DTE

             you would never know l had been through bowel cancer with spread to the liver,l look better now than before l had it,But l had a 5 year struggle with a few of those being diabolical,so l am pleased to read you skipped this ordeal.Fraud no, but an inspiration to those that follow that it is not always written in stone that you have to suffer.So stop the introverted thinking and get on with what the rest of us survivors do,enjoy making the most out of every day of our second wind,

                                                                                                                   Enjoy, David

Thank you so much for your kind words 

Thank you 

Thank you 

DTE, I know exactly where you are coming from- by fluke (ultrasound for something else at start of June) got picked up that I'd got testicular cancer, had testicle removed 2 weeks later and CT scan giving me the all clear a couple of weeks after. So effectively had gone from fine to "OMG I'm going to die" (ah come on most of us react like that right?), to back to normal in a month. I've found it difficult to be open with people about it because it doesn't feel like I've had "real" cancer, if that makes sense? Don't get me wrong hugely grateful that I've got incredibly lucky and not had the struggles and challenges that unfortunately far too many suffer from but it has left me feeling a bit weird and like a fraud about the whole thing. I think in someways the fact that it was picked up by random chance has kind of exacerbated the feeling of surrealism and I suppose it's almost like the survivors guilt phenomenon with a feeling that it's not "real" as relatively speaking haven't suffered. I can only describe it as strange, and in someways quite difficult go process as it's almost a did that really just happen? 

Hi 

That is exactly how I feel and to make me feel worse someone I know was diagnosed with the same thing and there is nothing they can do for her she's terminal.

I feel very lucky that I dodge the bullet so to speak but also the why did I get off so lightly when this girl I know who's only in her 20's has it so bad as you said survivers guilt.

Sorry to hear this DTE. 
 

As others have mentioned you've had major surgery and it's a very scary time been diagnosed with cancer. You know what you've had and what you've been through. Not all cancers and treatments can cause changes in physical appearance and it's unfortunate others don't always no this. 
 

Im having chemo at the moment, I'm 36 and I have worn some fashion head turbans but kept my eyebrows and eyelashes so far and had no other physical changes. It did upset me initially when people kept telling me how well I was doing especially when I wasn't. I usually see people when I'm having good days and done my makeup and wearing a nice outfit so they don't really see anything bad. Nobody has seen me at my worst.  I think sometimes other people don't really know what to say or find it hard themselves to talk about the upsetting side of cancer so they don't. I hope you do have soneone around you that really understand a hears what you've gone through. There's always an empathic and understanding ear on these forums too.

Best wishes