Cancer Research UK main site
  • Replies 9 replies
  • Views 802 views
  • Users 0 members are here

Diagnosed & Dumped

Dee022021
Offline

I was diagnosed with Her2++ breast cancer earlier this year, my best friend (male friend with benefits) said they would be there for me, support me and we would get through this together. Since then they have become more and more distant .  Whilst I understand this is difficult for people to deal with I also need the support as I don't have anyone else. I've become increasing low often having suicidal thoughts. I just can't believe someone I trusted with all my past hurts would treat me like this at a time like this. When I have tried to talk to him regarding this he doesn't see anything is wrong he just says he has a lot on right now.

We have gone from seeing each other at least twice a week to sometimes once a month. 
 

I don't know what to do - to everyone else, nurses etc I'm just pretending everything is ok but inside I'm broken. 
 

 

Parents

  • Hello Dee022021

    I'm very sorry to hear about your recent diagnosis and that on top of this the person you had considered to be your closest friend and confidante has become increasingly distant from you. It's clear from your post that you're going through a very difficult time right now and I think lots of our members here would understand that. 

    People cope in many different ways with a cancer diagnosis but it seems that perhaps this man did not share the same level of feelings for you as you did for him and that's obviously difficult to bear on top of everything else that you're dealing with at the moment. Please remember that his actions are not a reflection of you. 

    You mention in your post that you're pretending everything is OK when clearly from what you've shared it's not.  You've taken the first step in reaching out for help and support by joining the forum here and I'd really encourage you to talk to those around you and explain that actually you are struggling at the moment. I'm sure that there will be people who will want to step up and support you not only in your journey with cancer but also to help you with the emotional hurt that you're dealing with at the moment. 

    If you feel able to then have a chat with your Breast Care Nurse. It may be that they're able to refer you for some counselling/psychological support and I'm sure that they will have spoken with people before who have found themselves in similar circumstances. Alternatively, you could reach out to your local Maggie's centre who are also able to offer talking therapies and support. 

    It's really important when you're feeling like this Dee022021 to talk to someone and I wanted to remind you that even at those lowest ebbs when you're really struggling with things, there is always someone available at the end of the phone or online that you can talk to for support. At those times you can reach out to Samaritans who are available 24/7. 

    Whilst you may feel lonely at the moment, please know that you're not alone. The cancer Chat community and many other people are here to support you if you reach out so keep in touch. 

    Best wishes, 
    Jenn
    Cancer Chat moderator 

Reply Children
No Data

Speak to a nurse

Quick links

Follow us

Registered with Fundraising Regulator (logo)
Cancer Research UK is a registered charity in England and Wales (1089464), Scotland (SC041666), the Isle of Man (1103) and Jersey (247). A company limited by guarantee. Registered company in England and Wales (4325234) and the Isle of Man (5713F). Registered address: 2 Redman Place, London, E20 1JQ.