Hi Happilisa

Welcome doesnt seem the right word but u r anyway truly welcome !!It is all very frightning at first but as the others say step by step hope op i sok .thinking of you

This is a great place to chat/rant /sound off anything you like we all know how u feel and believe me you are so not alone !!a few of us also keep in touch on face book if your interested u can add me if u want nina diplock. I was diagnosed breast cancer last july had op/chemo and radio also just had knee op (that was outstanding from bbefore ) You and your family and friends can do this talk to them and us .

please anythingbwe can do come here and chat . It also sometimes helps to read the old posts and you will see that at differnt times we all have more or less same concerns !!

lots love and hugs nina xxxxxxx

Hi Everybody

I wanted to come on here here a bundle of joy, telling you all about my lovely new boobs......... but it all went so very wrong!

I came out of hospital and rested, the pain was so bad (but it will be worth it) so I persivered.... then after a week I started to feel feverish and I noticed a lot of redness round the dressing, so  I went back to the Jasmin suite and saw my surgeon who told me I had a mild infection, they took a swab, gave me some antibiotics and some spare dressings in case it started weeping, and sent me home.... I went back the following Tuesday, told the surgeon it had been weeping, so she had a look and decided that she could still feel some fluid under the scar, so she was going to put a little nick in the scar, just so she could drain it out.....  as she put the scalpel into the scar, a fountain of yellow and green puss bubbled up and poured out all over me and down my back, she ran to get a nurse and it took the two of them over an hour to clean me up and finish draining it..... they sent me home with a massive dose of antibiotics and a carrier bag full of dressing... and intructions to come back on the friday... so after feeling very ill and in lots of pain for the week.. I went back... I told her that I had used the full bag of dressings..... The surgeon came in and examined the wound and said... "this infection goes all the way down to the implant".. when i asked what that meant, she told me "Your body had rejected the implant... it's got to come out"She also said they are going to remove some of the surrounding tissue just to make sure the cancer hasn't come back and caused this..... They then attatched a stoma bag to the wound so I could empty it 3 times a day myself and gave me an appointment for Wednesday to go and have the left implant removed.

Then I have to wait for 6 months before they they can try again.... they are not going to try inflating the right implant, they are going to leave it and do them both together...... so I won't even be able to wear my prosthesis.... and when I mentioned this, my surgeon just said "You'll cope, your a strong lady"

I am sick of being strong..... I thought I was nearly done and now this..... How much more do I have to put up with.... when am I going to catch a break?

I am sorry to be so negative.... but I have really had enough..... I know I don't have a choice in this, but how long do people expect me to keep smiling and being positive

I will come back after my surgery and let you all know how it went

Love to all

and sorry again for being so down

Caz xxxxxx

Hi Caz and All

Well firstly it is good to hear from you and what are we all here for if you can not have a moan and groan, at least it gets it of your chest (ops sorry for that).

I am so sorry you are having all these problems especially after the year you have had, I to was told I could of had my implants done 6 months after all treatment but when I started to ask a lot of questions with my breast nurse, doctors they suggested I waited about a year as I was told the Radiotherapy can cause problems i.e hardening of the implant, tissue still to firm etc etc so now I am waiting until January next year. I know it is hard but I look at it that I have gone 1 year so a few more months is not going to make a lot of differance. I am sure that when you reflect on everything you will realise that waiting will be the best thing so you can have those NEW BOOBS that you will be proud of.

Keep your chin up Caz as I know you can, speak to you soon

Love Littlesis xx

Hi Caroline,

I am so sorry to hear that things haven't gone to plan. I believe lots of people have had trouble initially with reconstruction but you will get there in the end. Of course you don't feel 'positive' at the moment to be honest I got heartily sick of people telling me thats what I had to be. If you can be - absolutely marvellous - but if you can't don't beat yourself up about it. I have decided against reconstruction but then I am 63 and I know you are much much younger. I had the right breast removed and didn't want to be on a diet for the rest of my life to keep them both the same size ha ha. All the very best to you for your op and I hope the infection clears up really quickly. One thing that was said you ARE a strong lady but even strong ladies need a cuddle now and again - sending you one

Love

Jan x

Hi Caz,

Exactly what this site and all us lovely people are here for...we are here to hold you up, especially when you are down.

Let us know how you are feeling, has the infection gone down a bit?

Much Love

Tony xxx

oh my.... how i wish i could be there with all of you who are sufferring. (jees by the way - since finsishing chemo i really can't spell so apologies!). Caz, i kept being told to stop moaning after all im still here, and told i was brave. Brave??? not like i took the cancer from someone else to save them having it - i didn't have a choice !  There are so many issues we face whether emotional pysical and so on, and feeling like a 'woman' seems to be one of the hardest things for us to cope with regardless of age.  On top of this, you have yet another infection, but try to be positve even though it is hard. First, they found the problem now and not later when it might have been ten times worse - and now they know you have a problem with infections they should be able to start you on strong antibiotics before they attempt to do any more 'work;.  any way honey, everything has been so s&&****y for you that the only way now is UP.  And no one here should ever worry about complaining.

The other thing is for months you have been guiding all of us, and with all the heartbreak you have had yourself, it is no wonder you feel exhaussted and low.  dont be so hard on yourself babe, you have come through the most challenging part of your life and even though hurdles are still in the way, i do believe that after the storm comes the sunshine. you've had a blooming great tornado so bide your time, take time out for you and come here and scream when you need. The buds of your spring are just waiting to burst through, they are waiting for the last of the waters to drain.(pardon the pun)

I have often sounded vain superficial and just plain negative, and that is because like so many others i have felt so very low and everything becomes magnified.  I haven't just turned a corner, i have changed and learnt and like all the others here, we wouldn't wish any of what we have been through on anyone, but beacuse we have been there we really do understand, and hopefully can help even if just by listening. if i hadnt have come here to sound off, moan and cry, i could not have turned the corner to where i am now.

tony i wish you all the best for tomorrow, i find going back to the hospital for whatever reason just makes me re-live the original diagnosis and stresses me out. I sometimes also feel i have spent the last six months surrounded by some kind of scanner! I will be thinking of you I have half a bottle of white left, and i am going to enjoy it, if i can't sit in the sunshine i will warm my heart with a little sunshine of my own!!

love to all

sara

Hi Caroline

I just wanted to say hello and i hope you are holding together.I know what its like when surgery goes wrong.Things seem horriably difficult and then they get worse,god is having a laugh. I had an opearation in November a few years back and after a few days pus started coming out of my ear.I rang the surgeon and he said it cant possiably be to do with the operation,which was on my face,go to your GP.I did  and then to the local ear doctor.I had piles of lovely antibotics and ever incressing leval of pain killers.I was determined to stay out of hospital for my daughters second Christmas.I lasted untill after lunch  on Christmas Day when the blood started spurting out from my ear and face.My partner took me to the ear doctor but they did not know what to do with me.I ruined some poor consultants Christmas because he had to arrange for a London hospital to take me.The original hospital did not seem to want me so i was sent to another ear doctor which was a bit of a waste of time Because the problem was that the material that had been injected into the lining of the blood vessels ,to burn off the faulty veins,it  was infected .This is also the one place in the body the antibiotics cannot reach.To cut a long story short i had mounths of intrevenous antibotics and three more operations on the A-V malformation and then they peeled the left side of my face off three times to scrape out the bad bits.After that i was left with an open drainage site and head wound about the seize of my hand where the infection had also eaten its way out from.This healed but the infection would eat its way back out only each time the wound would be slightly smaller.It took 18 mounths to heal entirly.

I know that this is a bit of a grusome story but i throught i would post it because it is amazing what the human body can do.I am still  here and It left me with the knowlege that however bad things are and however sad we are about it ,it will not be that way forever.It may be cold comfort but we are not sent what we cannot endure because one way or another we will always move on to a different place.I like the idea that we will all get to see how our own story ends.

Hello ,

I was diagnosed yesterday with stage 3 breast cancer and to be honest just feel numb and a little angry!! I found the lump in January I went to the doctor who said to come back in 2 weeks to check it was still there as I am 36 so it could be hormonal, it was still there 2 weeks later! The doctor said if I had been over 40 I would have been booked in the next day  however I waited 3 weeks for hospital appointmen,t which they had booked incorrectly (only consultation not scan etc) so waited another week for ultrasound in which doctor came in for approx 2 mins scanned and said it was a Fibroadenoma so nothing to worry about. By now we were at the end of February, I had another appointment booked middle of March to see surgeon to go through options in which I decided I wanted lump removed so was given date 4th May!!!! I had the lump removed last week unfortunately they managed to burn me with diathermy machine so spent the last week in agony to then be told yesterday that I infact have cancer and they have taken 5 months to discover it. Is it normal to feel this angry rather than sad? I have great support from all my family and friends but its great to be able to speak to other people who have already gone or are going through this. Caz

hi everyone special hi to Cazgards

so sorry for your experience so far truely a massive *** up ! It is so normal to be angry even when u havent had to go thru that . You r so welcome here we all have different experiences but the main feelings are all the same just at different times!!we help each other so much . read thru some of the old posts.Firstly you will now be looking forward to your recovery talk to your breast care nurse and consultant and be honest with them that your confidence in the system has been knocked. You musten worry that the delay has had an affect on the outcome of this rubbbish disease iam sure it is very unlikely that those few months clinicially make any difference.So now you,your family and friends will cope with whats ahead ,you can do this and we are all here to help .come and rant chat ask whatever you needxxx

get all the info and help available xxlots of love and hugs nina

ps anyone heard how happilisa got on after surgery

hope everyone ok lots of love xxxxxxxx