Hi, i,ve never been on a chat site before, i,ve recently been diagnosed with breast cancer at 42, came out of the blue and i feel in turmoil, don,t know any details yet other than it,s small, in a lobe and i,m having a lumpectomy tomorrow.....i,m terrified, more waiting for results, i know you will all understand, i,ve got a wonderful husband and familiy but feel sooo alone!!  HELP!!

Hi Happilisa

Welcome doesnt seem the right word but u r anyway truly welcome !!It is all very frightning at first but as the others say step by step hope op i sok .thinking of you

This is a great place to chat/rant /sound off anything you like we all know how u feel and believe me you are so not alone !!a few of us also keep in touch on face book if your interested u can add me if u want nina diplock. I was diagnosed breast cancer last july had op/chemo and radio also just had knee op (that was outstanding from bbefore ) You and your family and friends can do this talk to them and us .

please anythingbwe can do come here and chat . It also sometimes helps to read the old posts and you will see that at differnt times we all have more or less same concerns !!

lots love and hugs nina xxxxxxx

Hi Everybody

I wanted to come on here here a bundle of joy, telling you all about my lovely new boobs......... but it all went so very wrong!

I came out of hospital and rested, the pain was so bad (but it will be worth it) so I persivered.... then after a week I started to feel feverish and I noticed a lot of redness round the dressing, so  I went back to the Jasmin suite and saw my surgeon who told me I had a mild infection, they took a swab, gave me some antibiotics and some spare dressings in case it started weeping, and sent me home.... I went back the following Tuesday, told the surgeon it had been weeping, so she had a look and decided that she could still feel some fluid under the scar, so she was going to put a little nick in the scar, just so she could drain it out.....  as she put the scalpel into the scar, a fountain of yellow and green puss bubbled up and poured out all over me and down my back, she ran to get a nurse and it took the two of them over an hour to clean me up and finish draining it..... they sent me home with a massive dose of antibiotics and a carrier bag full of dressing... and intructions to come back on the friday... so after feeling very ill and in lots of pain for the week.. I went back... I told her that I had used the full bag of dressings..... The surgeon came in and examined the wound and said... "this infection goes all the way down to the implant".. when i asked what that meant, she told me "Your body had rejected the implant... it's got to come out"She also said they are going to remove some of the surrounding tissue just to make sure the cancer hasn't come back and caused this..... They then attatched a stoma bag to the wound so I could empty it 3 times a day myself and gave me an appointment for Wednesday to go and have the left implant removed.

Then I have to wait for 6 months before they they can try again.... they are not going to try inflating the right implant, they are going to leave it and do them both together...... so I won't even be able to wear my prosthesis.... and when I mentioned this, my surgeon just said "You'll cope, your a strong lady"

I am sick of being strong..... I thought I was nearly done and now this..... How much more do I have to put up with.... when am I going to catch a break?

I am sorry to be so negative.... but I have really had enough..... I know I don't have a choice in this, but how long do people expect me to keep smiling and being positive

I will come back after my surgery and let you all know how it went

Love to all

and sorry again for being so down

Caz xxxxxx

Hi Caz and All

Well firstly it is good to hear from you and what are we all here for if you can not have a moan and groan, at least it gets it of your chest (ops sorry for that).

I am so sorry you are having all these problems especially after the year you have had, I to was told I could of had my implants done 6 months after all treatment but when I started to ask a lot of questions with my breast nurse, doctors they suggested I waited about a year as I was told the Radiotherapy can cause problems i.e hardening of the implant, tissue still to firm etc etc so now I am waiting until January next year. I know it is hard but I look at it that I have gone 1 year so a few more months is not going to make a lot of differance. I am sure that when you reflect on everything you will realise that waiting will be the best thing so you can have those NEW BOOBS that you will be proud of.

Keep your chin up Caz as I know you can, speak to you soon

Love Littlesis xx

Hi Caroline,

I am so sorry to hear that things haven't gone to plan. I believe lots of people have had trouble initially with reconstruction but you will get there in the end. Of course you don't feel 'positive' at the moment to be honest I got heartily sick of people telling me thats what I had to be. If you can be - absolutely marvellous - but if you can't don't beat yourself up about it. I have decided against reconstruction but then I am 63 and I know you are much much younger. I had the right breast removed and didn't want to be on a diet for the rest of my life to keep them both the same size ha ha. All the very best to you for your op and I hope the infection clears up really quickly. One thing that was said you ARE a strong lady but even strong ladies need a cuddle now and again - sending you one

Love

Jan x

Hi Caz,

Exactly what this site and all us lovely people are here for...we are here to hold you up, especially when you are down.

Let us know how you are feeling, has the infection gone down a bit?

Much Love

Tony xxx

Oh Caz What a dreadful time you are having....

On the " your a strong lady" God I can relate to that my dear, and I know exactly where you are coming from. I have a friend who constantly tells me Im strong and stop moaning and get on with it and kick this terrible thing in the ***.

I was in a bad bad place last week and just said to hell with it, no more. I took all the pills I have in house and REALLY thought about taking them when my son found me. The Dr got called in and she told me the same thing. Why you thinking like this your the strongest person I know!!!!! Come into my body , come into my head , see just how "strong I am"

When I first got my result the surgeon said this will be a walk in the park for someone strong like you!!!      I ask you Do they really think that words work when your at the complete end of your tether?

Ive still got 2 chemo sessions then op then radiotherey So still a way to go BUT If the boob has to go, they will be told take them both I have no need of them they have served their purpose by feeding my 5 babies and served my figure for 60 years and I have decided NO implants, but thats my personal choice and Ihope yours turn out well...

Hope this aint been too morbid

Colette and Nina thanks for the FB chat and mesages last week It REALLY did help me come back from the place I was in xxxxxxxxxxxx

oh my.... how i wish i could be there with all of you who are sufferring. (jees by the way - since finsishing chemo i really can't spell so apologies!). Caz, i kept being told to stop moaning after all im still here, and told i was brave. Brave??? not like i took the cancer from someone else to save them having it - i didn't have a choice !  There are so many issues we face whether emotional pysical and so on, and feeling like a 'woman' seems to be one of the hardest things for us to cope with regardless of age.  On top of this, you have yet another infection, but try to be positve even though it is hard. First, they found the problem now and not later when it might have been ten times worse - and now they know you have a problem with infections they should be able to start you on strong antibiotics before they attempt to do any more 'work;.  any way honey, everything has been so s&&****y for you that the only way now is UP.  And no one here should ever worry about complaining.

The other thing is for months you have been guiding all of us, and with all the heartbreak you have had yourself, it is no wonder you feel exhaussted and low.  dont be so hard on yourself babe, you have come through the most challenging part of your life and even though hurdles are still in the way, i do believe that after the storm comes the sunshine. you've had a blooming great tornado so bide your time, take time out for you and come here and scream when you need. The buds of your spring are just waiting to burst through, they are waiting for the last of the waters to drain.(pardon the pun)

I have often sounded vain superficial and just plain negative, and that is because like so many others i have felt so very low and everything becomes magnified.  I haven't just turned a corner, i have changed and learnt and like all the others here, we wouldn't wish any of what we have been through on anyone, but beacuse we have been there we really do understand, and hopefully can help even if just by listening. if i hadnt have come here to sound off, moan and cry, i could not have turned the corner to where i am now.

tony i wish you all the best for tomorrow, i find going back to the hospital for whatever reason just makes me re-live the original diagnosis and stresses me out. I sometimes also feel i have spent the last six months surrounded by some kind of scanner! I will be thinking of you I have half a bottle of white left, and i am going to enjoy it, if i can't sit in the sunshine i will warm my heart with a little sunshine of my own!!

love to all

sara

oh my.... how i wish i could be there with all of you who are sufferring. (jees by the way - since finsishing chemo i really can't spell so apologies!). Caz, i kept being told to stop moaning after all im still here, and told i was brave. Brave??? not like i took the cancer from someone else to save them having it - i didn't have a choice !  There are so many issues we face whether emotional pysical and so on, and feeling like a 'woman' seems to be one of the hardest things for us to cope with regardless of age.  On top of this, you have yet another infection, but try to be positve even though it is hard. First, they found the problem now and not later when it might have been ten times worse - and now they know you have a problem with infections they should be able to start you on strong antibiotics before they attempt to do any more 'work;.  any way honey, everything has been so s&&****y for you that the only way now is UP.  And no one here should ever worry about complaining.

The other thing is for months you have been guiding all of us, and with all the heartbreak you have had yourself, it is no wonder you feel exhaussted and low.  dont be so hard on yourself babe, you have come through the most challenging part of your life and even though hurdles are still in the way, i do believe that after the storm comes the sunshine. you've had a blooming great tornado so bide your time, take time out for you and come here and scream when you need. The buds of your spring are just waiting to burst through, they are waiting for the last of the waters to drain.(pardon the pun)

I have often sounded vain superficial and just plain negative, and that is because like so many others i have felt so very low and everything becomes magnified.  I haven't just turned a corner, i have changed and learnt and like all the others here, we wouldn't wish any of what we have been through on anyone, but beacuse we have been there we really do understand, and hopefully can help even if just by listening. if i hadnt have come here to sound off, moan and cry, i could not have turned the corner to where i am now.

tony i wish you all the best for tomorrow, i find going back to the hospital for whatever reason just makes me re-live the original diagnosis and stresses me out. I sometimes also feel i have spent the last six months surrounded by some kind of scanner! I will be thinking of you I have half a bottle of white left, and i am going to enjoy it, if i can't sit in the sunshine i will warm my heart with a little sunshine of my own!!

love to all

sara