Hi everyone its been a long time since Ive been on AGAIN because the computer has been playing up AGAIN and its made me very  . could do with a new one but this time of year its an expense we can't afford! I've been reading back a few posts but it will take me forever to catch up so wondered if you could all just update me on how you are all doing!! Its lovely to be back in the community I've been on a bit of a rollercoaster last two months and am waiting for the straight jacket to arrive lol!! Seriously does anyone else get really angry!! My anger has been uncontrollable at times with me even smashing a wall and it has really upset me!!

Please be intouch

LOTS AND LOTS OF LOVE TO YOU ALL

Louise

Hi Louise

Sorry to hear you are having problems with your computer and your emotions.I dont get angry because I find it just leaves me feeling worse in the long run,plus my last treatment has damaged my heart so at the moment I cant get stressed.Waiting to see the heart specialist in 2 weeks and when he gives me a magic pill I will be fine.You have been through so much for so long.Can you have some sort of therapy or a massage or reiki treatment to help?Being on here should help to unload so rant away and let us help.No more wall hitting!!!

Stay strong

Rose xx

Happy new year to you all, hope 2011 is a healthier year for us all. Justva quick question to you ladies who have had radiotherapy. I now only have 5 blasts left but my boob is agony, really red and skin peeling, it's sore and looks horrible, hops have given me gel and dressings, did anyone else have this and if so how long does it take to get better? Xx

Hi Colly,

Happy New Year to you too....I don't have first hand experience and I am sure there will be a few sharing their personal stories....I have a friend at work who said it actually continued to get slightly worse up to two weeks post radiotherapy and then started getting better. She had a bad time where wearing a bra was even a pain as the skin would peel etc. So that is one experience and hoping yours might be different....

One thing I was told works and have first hand experience of was either the Aloe Vera clear gel or the actual leaf from the plant - If you split the leaf there is a clear gel inside which you can use. I used it on my backside burns when I had radiotherapy....don't make the same mistake I did though....I was in so much pain when I was in the bathroom I saw a bottle of sunburn cooling gel with Aloe Vera extract in it...well I thought it would help my backside...how wrong was I as the gel also had alcohol in it and I screamed in pain, hopping round the bathroom...I had to bite down on a towel it was so bloody painful...Fran and my daughter Charlotte thought it was funny...don't laugh.

Much Love

T xxxx

Hi tony cheers for that, I've been told about pure aloe vera but hospital say just to use the one they supply, it is sore and peeling and very uncomfortable to wear a bra lol. Ps honestly I didn't laugh at you stinging your backside lol

Hi Colly,

Despite what they've said previously, ask if you can use the gel from the plant....not anything you buy pre-made from the shops, only the natural juice of the plant leaves.

I asked my Radiotherapist and they agreed it was fine to use. I think the reason they say only the cream that they recommend is so that people don't go out and buy 'natural' stuff (that's full of chemicals and therefore not exactly natural) and then end up with a reaction.

If your skin is sore, it's really worth asking. I found it did help so much and I was badly burned - to the point that they actually stopped my treatment.

Good luck with this because it's a horrible pain that I remember so well

hi patrica

how are you? how you feeling lately? hope alls well with you n your big boys.

im alright, be glad when my body is better. fed up of pain! got 2 more treatments left n thats my year complete. cant wait to start healing.

lots of love to you. leonie xxxxx

hi nina

hope you are managing ok. roll on friday n the last of your chemo. hope it goes as well as it can. be thinking of you n will raise a glass in celebration.

love leonie xx

hi colly

roll on friday for you too hun! thats your last rad isnt it? i hope your boob isnt like mine. in a few weeks the red n burning will feel better but then you got the scabs which isnt nice. horrible word isnt it! hope aloe vera heals it quicker for you n takes away some of the pain. i finished in september n my boob still hurts now but lymphadema started back then. i hope so much you dont get it n everything starts going back to normal for you. congratulations for friday n the end of treatment. will raise a glass to you too in celebration n wish you a healthy year.

lots of love leonie xxxxxx

thanks leonie

hope u r feeling better. thanks for u best wishes. last chemo 2morrow just want it ove.r i have had cold so hope my counts r ok! i will be raising a glas on 16th (my birthday )if i feel ok by then. i know i have radio to go but just cant wait for chemo 2 b over .

have been thinking of u all over christmas and new year. lets hope 2011 is better for us all xxxxx

lots love and hugs to all xx

Hi guys n gals, i'll certainly try and get my hands on some pure aloe vera from health shop, leonie babe my last day is actually mon 10th as missed a day with the bad snow, my boob is very red, this week is just the boost week so machine seems to just concentrate on the area where the tumour was. Hope you had a lovely xmas and new year, here to pain free for you. catch up soon xxx

Hi Leonie,

Sorry to hear that you are still suffering. So when do you actually finish your treatment?

Well, I'm pleased to report that I have just finished my first two days back at work after 13 long months.  Phased return, only doing 4 hours, 3 days a week to begin with (only two this week because of the Bank Holiday. LOL) Have to say the 4 hours 10.00 till 2.00 is enough, by 1.00 on Tuesday I was starting to flag and today I was doing a bit of clock watching.  Have told them that I can't pick up anything really heavy at the moment, need to rebuild my muscle power. It was a bit strange on Tuesday had all sorts of mixed feelings.  Felt like it was my first day at work as I had forgotten a lot and it was also the day 12 months ago that I had my mx.

My youngest son has seen the consultant at the hospital and is now having more tests for his hormone problem, plus had an x-ray taken of his hip as he has been complaining about it hurting for a while now.  Only found out this week that apparently he has had pain in this hip since he was a kid but never said anything until now.  So we are now waiting for results.

Take care, love

Patricia x

Hi Leonie,

Sorry to hear that you are still suffering. So when do you actually finish your treatment?

Well, I'm pleased to report that I have just finished my first two days back at work after 13 long months.  Phased return, only doing 4 hours, 3 days a week to begin with (only two this week because of the Bank Holiday. LOL) Have to say the 4 hours 10.00 till 2.00 is enough, by 1.00 on Tuesday I was starting to flag and today I was doing a bit of clock watching.  Have told them that I can't pick up anything really heavy at the moment, need to rebuild my muscle power. It was a bit strange on Tuesday had all sorts of mixed feelings.  Felt like it was my first day at work as I had forgotten a lot and it was also the day 12 months ago that I had my mx.

My youngest son has seen the consultant at the hospital and is now having more tests for his hormone problem, plus had an x-ray taken of his hip as he has been complaining about it hurting for a while now.  Only found out this week that apparently he has had pain in this hip since he was a kid but never said anything until now.  So we are now waiting for results.

Take care, love

Patricia x

hi patrica n ladies

how are you? and your son? was so pleased to hear you had gone back to work, how are you getting on? slowly but surely?

sorry i havent replied til now, been meaning to. though this will be a quick one! got 3 hospital apps this week so will find out whats what now. going to push for pet scan tomorrow n find out what i need to do, need to look out for. breast still sore n im not sure about it at all. how should you feel when treatment ends? wouldnt be half as bad if i felt ok. i will be glad to not go to the hospital as often. i will be happy to stop having medicine n heal. but you are on your own then. need to ask some questions this week! i did everything in stages n this is the end. last treatment thursday. 1 whole year of medicine all finished. i do hope it is forever.....!

keep in touch. lots of love to you

leonie xxxx

Hi Lonie

Well done for finishing your treatment - great feeling isn't it - I know just how you feel my lifes been on hold for a year! Make a big deal about getting the PET scan - they don't like doing it and perhaps I'm a cynic but I believe its because the cost is around £700-£800 a time. When I had my last appointment with the oncologist (last week) I asked if I could have another in a year or so. He very plainly told me there was no point because if my cancer did spread (I had quite a lot of lymph node involvement) then any treatment would be the same as if they found it through 'symptoms'. He then went on to tell me if I got it in the bone I would have terrible pain that wouldn't go away etc., etc., Frankly I felt he was glad to finish my treatment and wash his hands of me. He told me that in future I would see the breast nurse to check for swelling in my arm and maybe the surgeon regarding reconstruction - I came away feeling as if like you said i was 'on my own' However I now realise as long as the lovely people are on this site and if we are lucky - our families - support us we will never be truely that.

All the very best for the future - look forward now!

Best wishes to all on this site - Tony Song you are always in my prayers

Jan x

hello everyone

It is so great to hear that some of you have finished your treatment and feeling stronger and well done Lee for getting back to the gym.  I have started walking again and plan to get back to classes in a couple of weeks.  Only 5 more rads to go! Hooray, hair is growing although I am still wearing the wig, I think I am going to get a vegetable dye and colour it blond for a laugh!  It seems to take an age for your eyelashes and eyebrows to get going though and although I used to moan about the hair that grew out of a mole on my face, I was quite pleased to see it return, it was like a sign that the body is returning to normal.

Lonie, I bellieve you were on herceptin?  and that you have just finished? I am also until October, not sure if you experienced the same but my hands feel quite stiff and with pins and needles in the morning, also legs are heavy and generally muscle ache.  Not sure if this is still the chemo in the system or the herceptin?

Colly you look very bonnie with you lovely blond hair, I have tried to post a picture but cannot seem to do it, will try again.  it is nice to see the face behind the name.

Nina hope you had a nice birthday on the 16th, I remember as it was day before mine, my what a lot has happened in a year!  How are you doing?  Not long to go until you finish is it?  And you Sara not long for you also, You have done so well and have left some lovely messages on here.  Thank you.

Tony, i hope the treatment is going well you are in my thoughts as you all are.

I don't know how some of you feel but sometimes I feel like I have been in a dream and I have just woken up, I cannot really believe i have been so seriously ill.  It is a amazing how your mind helps you to cope with things, when I look back at how terrified I was and now here I am over the worse.  I know I have a future of check ups and apprehension and that life will never be the same again, but I feel positive and thankful for where I am now and I will always truly value life.

Rose glad to hear the treatment is going ok and thanks for your words of encouragement, you are always there for the first timers.

Keep strong everyone.

Anne

xx

Hi everyone

glad to hear everyones updates

thanks anne (love pic by the way ) i have finished my chemo had my mapping today for radio start next tuesday. I want to look forward to normality to return. My husband is still worried sick but i will try reassure him i am not going to spend all my time worring it might come back . My birthday was lovely thanks hope yours was too .hope 47 is better than 46 !!!!

lovely to keep up to date with u all

lots love and hugs nina xxx

Hi Lonie,

Well done !!!!! You have gone through absolutely every side effect you could have and had a terrible time,I sincerely hope it all improves for you and your lovely family.

When my treatment finished I was pleased but I missed the unit,it was my crutch and i felt safe ,but it is the way it has to go for you to go forward.They will always be at the end of the phone for advice but these people get to be such a big part of our lives.My oncologist told me it can take a year for your body to recover so take it slowly and listen to your body.Let us know what you are told.You were one of the first people I spoke to on here

Colly and Lee you both look fab !!.My hair took about 3 months before it looked like hair but the fringe was the last to grow.Take your time to get back to normal,it is easy to overdo it and rush back to work and tire yourself out .You ladies are doing so well and hopefully will continue to do so.

Love to you all

Rose xxx

Hi Anne,

I know what you mean about a dream.I sometimes think it is the fact that I almost pretend that this is not happening that makes it easier to get through.Your pic is lovely as yours is Nina,you lot dont need hair,you look lovely without it !!!Glad the radio is going OK,so many things that they can do now,thankfully.It is lovely to see so many reaching the end of that tunnel which seemed  impossible when you all started .Only good things from now on

Stay strong lovely ladies,

Rose xxx

Hi anne thank you very much, I must admit it has taken its toll all this treatment but Iam starting to feel a little bit more like the old me, eyebrows/lashes back in but i have been getting eyelash extensions as they are not quite as long as they used to be, all body hair back lol, hair on my head very thick but very short, it has came through grey which isnt too great lol, getting it coloured next thurs, joined the gym yest so gonna take it easy but try and go for a swim every day to loosen up my stiff arm.

Caroline please dont worry Im hoping and praying all is ok, Its an awful feeling, Ive had a sore lower back and a bit of a stiff neck for last week and Im worried sick its spread, John keeps saying Ive to behave lol but you cant help it, I think it will take years to stop thinking every little pain is the dreaded cancer back.

Sarah hope you're well and Leonie too, Patricia, Nina, Tony & caroline I speak to on facebook so if any of you other ladies want to chat, then join in. Colette Jameson

Lots of love to you all, hop I havent missed anyone.

Ps got a 50th party sat night, staying the night in the hotel, got my eyelashes done, getting my nails done tomorrow, just wish my hair was a bit longer, tho the amount of people who say I suit it is good (tho they all have lovely long locks) anyway shouldnt complain, another couple of months and im sure it will be back to a decent length xxx

I have to say I think its amazing that you have joined a gym. I have just had a week of being in and out of hospital and its left me totally drained I've not even had a full day out of bed. I'v just finished my first cycle of my new chemo and have picked up and infection and had alot of pain in my lower back and shooting pains down my legs. They were worried that I might have some spinal compression but after testing strength off legs and reflexes they think the pain is just from the cancer thats in my bones. I keep thinking I'll never be able to even just go for a stroll without experiencing pain but they have given me stronger pain relief so hopefully this will help. Its so frustrating not being active and I take my hat of to all you that are getting back to normality.

On the hair thing hopefully I won't loose my hair with this chemo but after my first chemo cycles finished my hair came through thick and fast and I actually had it trimmed the other day. UnfortunATELY my body hair was alot thicker and darker but my eyelashes have come back longer so thats a bonus.  My hair is slightly curly too!

Much love sent to you all haven't siad hi to you all personally but you know I'm thinking of you.

Love Lou