Hi everyone its been a long time since Ive been on AGAIN because the computer has been playing up AGAIN and its made me very  . could do with a new one but this time of year its an expense we can't afford! I've been reading back a few posts but it will take me forever to catch up so wondered if you could all just update me on how you are all doing!! Its lovely to be back in the community I've been on a bit of a rollercoaster last two months and am waiting for the straight jacket to arrive lol!! Seriously does anyone else get really angry!! My anger has been uncontrollable at times with me even smashing a wall and it has really upset me!!

Please be intouch

LOTS AND LOTS OF LOVE TO YOU ALL

Louise

Hi Louise

Sorry to hear you are having problems with your computer and your emotions.I dont get angry because I find it just leaves me feeling worse in the long run,plus my last treatment has damaged my heart so at the moment I cant get stressed.Waiting to see the heart specialist in 2 weeks and when he gives me a magic pill I will be fine.You have been through so much for so long.Can you have some sort of therapy or a massage or reiki treatment to help?Being on here should help to unload so rant away and let us help.No more wall hitting!!!

Stay strong

Rose xx

Thanks Lee, you look stunning in your pic, and your hair is gorgeous. My hair is growing so fast, went to a house party last night without the wig, everyone sais I suited the really short hair, only prob is, itc coming through salt n pepper lol so hopefully another month or 2 I'll get it coloured. Starting back beginning of april and signing back up to the gym this week, dont think I'll manage 5 times per week but certainly 2 or 3, my feet still really sore as are my arms, so hopefully this chemo feeling should be gone soon. Hope everyone is well. lots of love coming your way xxx

hi patrica n ladies

how are you? and your son? was so pleased to hear you had gone back to work, how are you getting on? slowly but surely?

sorry i havent replied til now, been meaning to. though this will be a quick one! got 3 hospital apps this week so will find out whats what now. going to push for pet scan tomorrow n find out what i need to do, need to look out for. breast still sore n im not sure about it at all. how should you feel when treatment ends? wouldnt be half as bad if i felt ok. i will be glad to not go to the hospital as often. i will be happy to stop having medicine n heal. but you are on your own then. need to ask some questions this week! i did everything in stages n this is the end. last treatment thursday. 1 whole year of medicine all finished. i do hope it is forever.....!

keep in touch. lots of love to you

leonie xxxx

Hi Lonie

Well done for finishing your treatment - great feeling isn't it - I know just how you feel my lifes been on hold for a year! Make a big deal about getting the PET scan - they don't like doing it and perhaps I'm a cynic but I believe its because the cost is around £700-£800 a time. When I had my last appointment with the oncologist (last week) I asked if I could have another in a year or so. He very plainly told me there was no point because if my cancer did spread (I had quite a lot of lymph node involvement) then any treatment would be the same as if they found it through 'symptoms'. He then went on to tell me if I got it in the bone I would have terrible pain that wouldn't go away etc., etc., Frankly I felt he was glad to finish my treatment and wash his hands of me. He told me that in future I would see the breast nurse to check for swelling in my arm and maybe the surgeon regarding reconstruction - I came away feeling as if like you said i was 'on my own' However I now realise as long as the lovely people are on this site and if we are lucky - our families - support us we will never be truely that.

All the very best for the future - look forward now!

Best wishes to all on this site - Tony Song you are always in my prayers

Jan x

hello everyone

It is so great to hear that some of you have finished your treatment and feeling stronger and well done Lee for getting back to the gym.  I have started walking again and plan to get back to classes in a couple of weeks.  Only 5 more rads to go! Hooray, hair is growing although I am still wearing the wig, I think I am going to get a vegetable dye and colour it blond for a laugh!  It seems to take an age for your eyelashes and eyebrows to get going though and although I used to moan about the hair that grew out of a mole on my face, I was quite pleased to see it return, it was like a sign that the body is returning to normal.

Lonie, I bellieve you were on herceptin?  and that you have just finished? I am also until October, not sure if you experienced the same but my hands feel quite stiff and with pins and needles in the morning, also legs are heavy and generally muscle ache.  Not sure if this is still the chemo in the system or the herceptin?

Colly you look very bonnie with you lovely blond hair, I have tried to post a picture but cannot seem to do it, will try again.  it is nice to see the face behind the name.

Nina hope you had a nice birthday on the 16th, I remember as it was day before mine, my what a lot has happened in a year!  How are you doing?  Not long to go until you finish is it?  And you Sara not long for you also, You have done so well and have left some lovely messages on here.  Thank you.

Tony, i hope the treatment is going well you are in my thoughts as you all are.

I don't know how some of you feel but sometimes I feel like I have been in a dream and I have just woken up, I cannot really believe i have been so seriously ill.  It is a amazing how your mind helps you to cope with things, when I look back at how terrified I was and now here I am over the worse.  I know I have a future of check ups and apprehension and that life will never be the same again, but I feel positive and thankful for where I am now and I will always truly value life.

Rose glad to hear the treatment is going ok and thanks for your words of encouragement, you are always there for the first timers.

Keep strong everyone.

Anne

xx

Hi everyone

glad to hear everyones updates

thanks anne (love pic by the way ) i have finished my chemo had my mapping today for radio start next tuesday. I want to look forward to normality to return. My husband is still worried sick but i will try reassure him i am not going to spend all my time worring it might come back . My birthday was lovely thanks hope yours was too .hope 47 is better than 46 !!!!

lovely to keep up to date with u all

lots love and hugs nina xxx

Hi Lonie,

Well done !!!!! You have gone through absolutely every side effect you could have and had a terrible time,I sincerely hope it all improves for you and your lovely family.

When my treatment finished I was pleased but I missed the unit,it was my crutch and i felt safe ,but it is the way it has to go for you to go forward.They will always be at the end of the phone for advice but these people get to be such a big part of our lives.My oncologist told me it can take a year for your body to recover so take it slowly and listen to your body.Let us know what you are told.You were one of the first people I spoke to on here

Colly and Lee you both look fab !!.My hair took about 3 months before it looked like hair but the fringe was the last to grow.Take your time to get back to normal,it is easy to overdo it and rush back to work and tire yourself out .You ladies are doing so well and hopefully will continue to do so.

Love to you all

Rose xxx

Hi Anne,

I know what you mean about a dream.I sometimes think it is the fact that I almost pretend that this is not happening that makes it easier to get through.Your pic is lovely as yours is Nina,you lot dont need hair,you look lovely without it !!!Glad the radio is going OK,so many things that they can do now,thankfully.It is lovely to see so many reaching the end of that tunnel which seemed  impossible when you all started .Only good things from now on

Stay strong lovely ladies,

Rose xxx

Hi

Just wanted to say a few words about radio and reconstruction. I had a mastectomy nearly 3 years ago, followed by chemo then radio. My skin was a bit tight after radio, but it didnt prevent me from having the reconstruction method of my choice as by the time i was ready for the reconstruction my skin was in pretty good shape. I opted for a tram flap which is a fairly big op (about 13 hours) but i thought that if i was going to have surgery i wanted the surgery of my choice and once you are knocked out you have no idea how much time is passing so the 13 hours passed really quickly!!  I dont think you are being vain you have to do what you feel is best for you. There is no right or wrong it is purely an individuals choice. I would recommend having radio because it reduces your risk of it reocurring and it the majority of cases doesnt restrict your descision for reconstructive surgery. I was playing tennis again within 14 weeks and cycling after 10 weeks. Do whats best for you. Hope this helps

Caroline try no to worry too much. I found another lump recently and as the doc said, the mri and other scans are very good, but after surgery the tissue remaining moves around and causes sort of cysts and scar tissue that can frighten the life out of us. You have come so far and through so much, and we are all thinking of you.

Reading some of the posts I just want to say WOW WOW WOW, how wonderful you all look and how positive and upbeat! I am bing positive too - number 5 chemo Friday and hey - runningdrums, thank you so much for your details on the hair thing. I buggared my nhs wig by taking it to a hairdresser who obviously didn't know what she was doing. However, I took the plunge and ordered a new wig Monday from the net at 17,99. It is so so lovely - doesn't have the mono filament parting, but looks so natural that for the first time i went out with just the wig and no silly hat over the top. It is far longer than my natural hair and the other wig, but it is so so soft that I forgot it was a wig and even pinned it up! So impressed just treated myself to another and loads of wig accessories, and will buy yet another next month! talk about changing your look! I also wore makeup today to give me eyebrows and eyeliner - felt like a new woman. I even went to Tescos on my own - a real first.  The hair is growing very slowly - and coming back in places i will have to wax or shave. But I did find a dark hair on the tash line so I know what you mean about finding hair growing back on the mole! I was both chuffed and disappointed all at the same time.

I never cease to be amazed at the positive outlook everyone has here, and every single one of you has helped me no end. Just listening to how you cope and how you feel makes me realise I am not alone when I am feeling blue or sorry for myself.  I must post some pics and update - hope i can look half as good as all of you - you inspire me everyday - thank you xxx

Hi anne thank you very much, I must admit it has taken its toll all this treatment but Iam starting to feel a little bit more like the old me, eyebrows/lashes back in but i have been getting eyelash extensions as they are not quite as long as they used to be, all body hair back lol, hair on my head very thick but very short, it has came through grey which isnt too great lol, getting it coloured next thurs, joined the gym yest so gonna take it easy but try and go for a swim every day to loosen up my stiff arm.

Caroline please dont worry Im hoping and praying all is ok, Its an awful feeling, Ive had a sore lower back and a bit of a stiff neck for last week and Im worried sick its spread, John keeps saying Ive to behave lol but you cant help it, I think it will take years to stop thinking every little pain is the dreaded cancer back.

Sarah hope you're well and Leonie too, Patricia, Nina, Tony & caroline I speak to on facebook so if any of you other ladies want to chat, then join in. Colette Jameson

Lots of love to you all, hop I havent missed anyone.

Ps got a 50th party sat night, staying the night in the hotel, got my eyelashes done, getting my nails done tomorrow, just wish my hair was a bit longer, tho the amount of people who say I suit it is good (tho they all have lovely long locks) anyway shouldnt complain, another couple of months and im sure it will be back to a decent length xxx

Hi anne thank you very much, I must admit it has taken its toll all this treatment but Iam starting to feel a little bit more like the old me, eyebrows/lashes back in but i have been getting eyelash extensions as they are not quite as long as they used to be, all body hair back lol, hair on my head very thick but very short, it has came through grey which isnt too great lol, getting it coloured next thurs, joined the gym yest so gonna take it easy but try and go for a swim every day to loosen up my stiff arm.

Caroline please dont worry Im hoping and praying all is ok, Its an awful feeling, Ive had a sore lower back and a bit of a stiff neck for last week and Im worried sick its spread, John keeps saying Ive to behave lol but you cant help it, I think it will take years to stop thinking every little pain is the dreaded cancer back.

Sarah hope you're well and Leonie too, Patricia, Nina, Tony & caroline I speak to on facebook so if any of you other ladies want to chat, then join in. Colette Jameson

Lots of love to you all, hop I havent missed anyone.

Ps got a 50th party sat night, staying the night in the hotel, got my eyelashes done, getting my nails done tomorrow, just wish my hair was a bit longer, tho the amount of people who say I suit it is good (tho they all have lovely long locks) anyway shouldnt complain, another couple of months and im sure it will be back to a decent length xxx

I have to say I think its amazing that you have joined a gym. I have just had a week of being in and out of hospital and its left me totally drained I've not even had a full day out of bed. I'v just finished my first cycle of my new chemo and have picked up and infection and had alot of pain in my lower back and shooting pains down my legs. They were worried that I might have some spinal compression but after testing strength off legs and reflexes they think the pain is just from the cancer thats in my bones. I keep thinking I'll never be able to even just go for a stroll without experiencing pain but they have given me stronger pain relief so hopefully this will help. Its so frustrating not being active and I take my hat of to all you that are getting back to normality.

On the hair thing hopefully I won't loose my hair with this chemo but after my first chemo cycles finished my hair came through thick and fast and I actually had it trimmed the other day. UnfortunATELY my body hair was alot thicker and darker but my eyelashes have come back longer so thats a bonus.  My hair is slightly curly too!

Much love sent to you all haven't siad hi to you all personally but you know I'm thinking of you.

Love Lou