Hi everyone its been a long time since Ive been on AGAIN because the computer has been playing up AGAIN and its made me very  . could do with a new one but this time of year its an expense we can't afford! I've been reading back a few posts but it will take me forever to catch up so wondered if you could all just update me on how you are all doing!! Its lovely to be back in the community I've been on a bit of a rollercoaster last two months and am waiting for the straight jacket to arrive lol!! Seriously does anyone else get really angry!! My anger has been uncontrollable at times with me even smashing a wall and it has really upset me!!

Please be intouch

LOTS AND LOTS OF LOVE TO YOU ALL

Louise

Hi Louise

Sorry to hear you are having problems with your computer and your emotions.I dont get angry because I find it just leaves me feeling worse in the long run,plus my last treatment has damaged my heart so at the moment I cant get stressed.Waiting to see the heart specialist in 2 weeks and when he gives me a magic pill I will be fine.You have been through so much for so long.Can you have some sort of therapy or a massage or reiki treatment to help?Being on here should help to unload so rant away and let us help.No more wall hitting!!!

Stay strong

Rose xx

OH !!!!!*******++F<>****   This is just too much Caz !!!

Your head must be a total jumble.Words fail me,which as you know is not like me.Stay in there babes,we will always be here when you need to scream and shout.I will make sure yours is a double.

Speak soon sweatheart.

Rose xxx

dear caroline

I just wanted to post you my good wishes as it is surely a hell of a storm that has decended on your head.I chose not to have reconstruction partly because i felt there was a limit to what i could cope with and its not like you cant change your mind further down the line.I hope when your man has had some time away he will realise what a bad choice he is making and how lucky he is to have you and frankly if he dosent you are well rid of him.

caroline,  take heart.  About five maybe six years ago, on losing my dad and having saved a lot of money for a house, i thought i had everything, good man good life and blah blah with just sadness nursing my sister through cancer having just lost dad.  One morning, out of the blue, a day we were going to view the house we wanted, he threw a fit so to speak, accused my son of stealing sseveral hundred pounds out of his wallet and walked out.  The kids and i were devasted. I went to peices. I found out a few weeks later, he had taken personal sentitmental stuff from the house and a huge huge wad from the savings account and there was nothing i could do about it. He hadn't paid rent for more than six months, nor council tax and they were all in my name, but all i was eveer told was that everything was under control and up to date. more fool me for not checking. Anyway, after a period of depression, i came through and had a new outlook.  I really thought i was made up for life and we SEEMED to be so much in love after five years that it took a fair while to get over the emotional stuff.  however, a friend said to me that although i had been treated bad, the second person in my life was better than the first and the third better than the second. She said that we only learn as we progress.  When i was still thousands and thousands of pounds in debt, a single parent with four kids, one with chronic asthma in and out of hosp and one with aspergers, i thought life would never get better. But you know what, i kept plodding on and here i am today with many blessings.  I have a guy i have been with for five years through thick and thin, he drives me mad sometimes but no matter what gets thrown at us, he is there, supports the kids, keeps us sane and focused, and he even went to work to pay my bills! The children grew and went off and did their own things, the asthma greatly improved and my son sorted his life out. I then got beautiful grandchildren.

The emotional feelings - scars, fears, treatments and all of that on top of this awful news must be so difficult for you right now.  But as always out of the dark comes a light, and here you have a whole bunch of people who will help you every step of the way to building a NEW and BRIGHTER future as and when you feel ready to take small steps.  When life gets that bloody rotten, there is only one way to go, and that is onwards and upwards, and there are so many hands reaching to you right now and so many cyber hugs and warm wishes - you must remember that at all times and come talk when you need.

So I don't say merry christmas to you Caz, because I know it won't be no matter how hard you try, but i will say that 2011 will change you and your life, and believe me, it can better and brighter than you ever thought possible as you put 2010 and its crap behind you.

Thinking of you.

Sara xx

Hi to everyone,

Couldn't not sign in today becasue you were all on my mind, just wanted to wish you all a very merry christmas!!!

Lots of love to you all

sara x

Happy New Year to everyone.

I hope you !!!ALL!!! managed to enjoy your christmas. I am so sorry if you haven't i'll be on over the next few days to chat with you.

I wish you all a very very HAPPY NEW YEAR! And fingers crossed a healthy one.

Lot's of love leonie, jon, and the boyz

hi lonie

im like you, i want everyone to have a happy new year,if only it was possible but you have to believe dont you so i would like to wish you a happy new year.

  jeff hugz an xx 

Hi,  Just wanted to wish everyone on here a very happy new year. So here's to 2011 and hopefully a better year for all of us.

Patricia xxxx

Oh Caroline, I'm so sorry that you've got yet another thing to cope with now.....

I've been checking your blog regularly but you hadn't updated for a while and I've only just seen your post on here. I feel so sad for you, both about the trauma of the op and now the problems with your marriage.

I know you have lots of support from the ladies on here, they are a fantastic bunch (and not forgetting the guys too of course) but I just wanted you to know that I read your post and am so very sorry that he feels unable to cope at the moment.

2010 wasn't good to you Caroline, I sincerely hope that 2011 is much kinder

Dizzie xxx

Happy new year to you all, hope 2011 is a healthier year for us all. Justva quick question to you ladies who have had radiotherapy. I now only have 5 blasts left but my boob is agony, really red and skin peeling, it's sore and looks horrible, hops have given me gel and dressings, did anyone else have this and if so how long does it take to get better? Xx

Happy new year to you all, hope 2011 is a healthier year for us all. Justva quick question to you ladies who have had radiotherapy. I now only have 5 blasts left but my boob is agony, really red and skin peeling, it's sore and looks horrible, hops have given me gel and dressings, did anyone else have this and if so how long does it take to get better? Xx

Hi Colly,

Happy New Year to you too....I don't have first hand experience and I am sure there will be a few sharing their personal stories....I have a friend at work who said it actually continued to get slightly worse up to two weeks post radiotherapy and then started getting better. She had a bad time where wearing a bra was even a pain as the skin would peel etc. So that is one experience and hoping yours might be different....

One thing I was told works and have first hand experience of was either the Aloe Vera clear gel or the actual leaf from the plant - If you split the leaf there is a clear gel inside which you can use. I used it on my backside burns when I had radiotherapy....don't make the same mistake I did though....I was in so much pain when I was in the bathroom I saw a bottle of sunburn cooling gel with Aloe Vera extract in it...well I thought it would help my backside...how wrong was I as the gel also had alcohol in it and I screamed in pain, hopping round the bathroom...I had to bite down on a towel it was so bloody painful...Fran and my daughter Charlotte thought it was funny...don't laugh.

Much Love

T xxxx

Hi tony cheers for that, I've been told about pure aloe vera but hospital say just to use the one they supply, it is sore and peeling and very uncomfortable to wear a bra lol. Ps honestly I didn't laugh at you stinging your backside lol

Hi Colly,

Despite what they've said previously, ask if you can use the gel from the plant....not anything you buy pre-made from the shops, only the natural juice of the plant leaves.

I asked my Radiotherapist and they agreed it was fine to use. I think the reason they say only the cream that they recommend is so that people don't go out and buy 'natural' stuff (that's full of chemicals and therefore not exactly natural) and then end up with a reaction.

If your skin is sore, it's really worth asking. I found it did help so much and I was badly burned - to the point that they actually stopped my treatment.

Good luck with this because it's a horrible pain that I remember so well

hi colly

roll on friday for you too hun! thats your last rad isnt it? i hope your boob isnt like mine. in a few weeks the red n burning will feel better but then you got the scabs which isnt nice. horrible word isnt it! hope aloe vera heals it quicker for you n takes away some of the pain. i finished in september n my boob still hurts now but lymphadema started back then. i hope so much you dont get it n everything starts going back to normal for you. congratulations for friday n the end of treatment. will raise a glass to you too in celebration n wish you a healthy year.

lots of love leonie xxxxxx

thanks leonie

hope u r feeling better. thanks for u best wishes. last chemo 2morrow just want it ove.r i have had cold so hope my counts r ok! i will be raising a glas on 16th (my birthday )if i feel ok by then. i know i have radio to go but just cant wait for chemo 2 b over .

have been thinking of u all over christmas and new year. lets hope 2011 is better for us all xxxxx

lots love and hugs to all xx

Hi guys n gals, i'll certainly try and get my hands on some pure aloe vera from health shop, leonie babe my last day is actually mon 10th as missed a day with the bad snow, my boob is very red, this week is just the boost week so machine seems to just concentrate on the area where the tumour was. Hope you had a lovely xmas and new year, here to pain free for you. catch up soon xxx

Hi colly,

I have just read your post regarding radiotherapy and the soreness. I am due to start my radiotherapy on monday 10th jan. I found an article in a magazine, and the person in the article was undergoing radiotherapy to be exact she said she was 2 thirds of the way through. She claims that after 1 application Botanicles Therapeutics cream the discomfort went.  It costs about £13.30 for 120ml. She says she uses it to several times a day to great effect. If you do try this and it is good I would love to know. Hope you get some relief you sound very sore.

I also have a very large scar on my breast that goes from one side of the boob up and over to the other side, and had real problems wearing any bras.  I wear little camisole tops with hidden support, if you go to the underwear department in Primark they have them there in all colours and the best bit they are only £1.50.

Good luck with everything.

from one" C "monster slayer to another!!!!  Keep going.

Sue

Hi Sue I think during radiotherapy hospital are very wary about using creams other than the ones they supply "just incase" but as from mon when my treatment finishes I will try the pure aloe vera, the hosp supply you with aqueous cream but when the skin is broken they supply a gel, which does seem to be doing the trick, i will certainly pop into primark and have a look, I also have 2 scars so they are quite sore just now. Good luck with your treatment. Colette xx

Hi Sue,

          If I could just back up what Colly is saying about using other creams. I had radiotherapy for rectal cancer and by the end my bum was really sore in that I could hardly sit down and dreaded going to the loo. I went to my doctor and while he prescribed some creams he also advised just to check with the radiotherapy department at the hospital. I contacted them and they came back saying do not use the creams recommended and instead they prescribed two types of water based gel type material. There is no question that this worked very well and quite quickly. Prior to the doctor I had tried a whole range of proprietary products from the chemist but none seemed to be able to take the edge off. Consequently because of this experience I am a bit wary of trying anything other than what those specializing in the subject recommend.

Take care and all the best.

Graham

Happy New Year to you all, this has been my first week back at work, really enjoyed it was good to see everyone again am training quite hard at the gym again trying to build up some strength in my left arm and also shed some of those unwanted pounds gained over the last 7 months, anyway got a bit of hair now but much too cold to go out without hat or wig, not quite sure what colour it will be,however my husband says it has special hightlights in it at the moment........... I think what he is trying to say is there is some grey in there! I dont care just want my hair back.

Good luck Colly and Lonie another step closer to closing the door on 2010, I have to say Colly I didnt really struggle with the rads, was a little red but nothing too bad so not very helpfull with the answers on that one, however the breast nurse did give me a square pad that fitted over my breast to stop the rubbing of the bra or clothes and it was wonderful, maybe you could ask about that.

Well Im off to the gym now girls and boys so I shall send much love and good wishes to you all.

Lots of love Lee xxxxxxxx