hi i too would like to talk about breast cancer.

hi im 36 mother of 3 n diagnosed dec 23. ive had 2 ops n 5 of 6 chemo n finding it very hard at mo. feel so peed off n cant get rid of that feeling. would love to chat. x

  • dear caz

    so sorry u r feeling like this but it is perfectly normal course of feelings like grieving my darlin . we r all with u u can always talk to mcmillian helpline or breast care nurse.

    reconstruction surgery is so good just think u will be able to pick your style !! try not to lose your fantastic positive outlook this is just one of the steps to beat this crap disease u r sronger than this disease. try other things get aface pack , buy some expensive make up and experiment !!! and most of all rant on here as much as u need if you want my email please ask !!!

    i am sending u massive amounts of positive vibes u will get you fight back and this is just a natural understandable blip !!

    love and hugs xxxxxxx

    nina xx

  • dear dizzy rascal

    sorry u had some scary time onwards and upwards now that was your first chemo wasnt it ?like me

    my 2nd next monday i keep looking at my hair and thinking how much longer will i have it very freaky !!

    do u still have yours ?

    hope u feeling better stay well

    love nina xxxx

  • Hi caz, I know it's easy for me to say you'll be fine, but I know you will, you are a strong woman with an amazing personality, and recon these days is amazing, just get better, get over any treatment if it's needed, and look forward to your amazing new breasts, just think nice perky ones that stay up by themselves. Be strong babes and if you want to chat just ask for my email. Lots of love col xxx

  • Hi dizzy hope you feel much better soon, and didn't get too much of a fright. Col x

  • hi guys

    Well I went to the hospital yesterday and continued my melt down

    The good thing is, at least I finally got some answers....... I don't have to have chemo.... well not the type that goes in intravienously, I have to go an see the oncologist next Tuesday (because he has been on holiday for a fortnight) and find out exactly what happens next, but it looks like I will be going on tablets, I think it will be Tamoxafen, but I won't know for sure till next week.

    I also explained that I hate leaving the house cos I feel like everybody is staring at me and they have finally given me a prosthesis (forgive my lousy spelling) and they explained that my "meltdown" is perfectly natural.

    I am still feeling pretty wobbly, but I am getting there

    thank you for all your lovely messages

    Love Caz xxx

  • Hi Caz, glad to hear you are recovering physically. Emotionally you need to give yourself time, the diagnosis through to the surgery are traumatic enough without punishing yourself for feeling bad. On the one hand we are expected to be grateful for the options and treatements - and we are of course, but on the other, the emotional effects knock our confidence for six. i was so angry and upset for the first few days after seeing my '2nd' scar and thinking of chemo that the adverts for hair shampoo and so called sexy perfume made me want to throw something at the TV. Mad really, when you think these women aren't real anyway. I don't think there is anyone here who cannot at least begin to understand how you feel on a day to day, hour to hour basis, but we are all here if you need to talk.

    i am off to see the oncologist tomorrow and i am terrified. It is maddening to think that although i know i will have chemo - FEC - hearing it in a clinical enviroment is scary. I have asked not to be told stats as i believe they are pretty general and everyone is different, and anyway i can't face them right now as i am reasonably positive for the great majority of the time. i am going with my daughter and hope i do not break down in tears, just lately hospitals have that effect on me and i am sure she and her little 2 year old man will feel distressed if i am not coping.

    anyway , love to you all

    sara xxxx

  • Sara,

    If this recent meltdown has taught me one thing, then it's we are allowed to be scared and weepy.

    I think that the emotional effects are far worse than anything else at this stage, I have cried more in the last week than I have in the whole last year.... but I think that tears are a bit of a release for me.... but when they start I seem to have problems stopping them.

    God luck seeing your oncologist tomorrow, I'm sure he will be tactful, although it's a one off thing for most of us, the oncologist deals with this every day so hopefully he will handle you with kid gloves (so to speak)

    Please let us know how you get on, with the help of this site, you never have to face anything alone

    I have everything crossed for you tomorrow

    Love caz xxx

  • Hi Colly and girls

    sorry I havnt been intouch been feeling a bit rough lately and when I read your messages I just think Im being selfish by complaining, so have kept a bit quiet.

    You all seem to be coping with much worse than I am and I so much admire all of you.

    Colly Im so happy that you have reached the end of chemo, ive truly hated this experience and cant wait for my last one on 26th October, when do you start your rads?

    Caz you are such a brave lady, I cry when I look at my false left boob!!! with my other one dangling down beside it looking old and saggy....I truly cant imagine how you are feeling, I just wish I could speed up time so we are all well looking fab and sipping cocktails laughing and smiling at one another..

    To each and everyone of you, I send my love and good wishes.

    Lee xxxxxxx

  • Hi lee yeah had my last chemo was Wednesday, so feeling quite rough today and prob be like this for a few days, radio starting in about 5 weeks and will last for 5 weeks then a boost of rads on the 6th week, so hopefully all over and done with for Xmas, I asked oncologist yesterday how I know if the cancer has def all gone as they don't offer any kind of scan which surprises me, she did say the next 2 years are very important as obviously that's when it can return, god I don't know if I could cope again, I just feel I'm not myself, my life belongs to a stranger, she says if I can get past 5 years then I'm on a winning streak, but surely every ache or pain I have I'm going to think I've got cancer, how do we get over this feeling? She advises healthy eating and exercise,s right now I don't have the energy for exercise lol but hopefully after the rads I will. Is this the first time you have had breast cancer or is it a returning one? I've to go for an endescopy on 18th oct as I'm having bad heart burn and the other night I got a real fright when a bit of beef got stuck in my wind pipe for over half an hour, even when I took a drink of water it landed on top and wouldn't shift beef, I was really frightened, eventually I was sick and it came up, I'm now worried that it's something more sinister, oncologist says it's more likely to be the lining of my stomach that has been affected with the chemo but I can't help but worrying. Anyway I suppose I need to think more positively, chemo is over and rads will be starting and hopefully I'm on the road to recovery, hope you gals are doing well, sorry for the rant. Have a great weekend. Colly x

  • Hi Colly, my heart goes out to you, and I know exactly! how your feeling, unfortunately I had breat cancer feb 2009 whereupon I had a lumpectomy and then rads for 3 weeks, they told me I had got it very early and I was given the "all clear" by December 2009 and then in April 2010 it had come back angrier than ever, this time I had to have a mastectomy followed by chemo and them it will be Tamoxefen for 5 years, Im just taking each day at a time right now and trying not to dwell on what may or may not happen in the future, I try to stay strong and positive but we are all human and worries will appear from time to time, 18 years ago Olivia Newton-John had breast cancer and she is still here today looking fabulous 7 years ago Kylie Monogue had breast cancer and look at her now, There are not 100% guarantees honey the doctors will tell you that, but we are lucky in one way, we have survived it once and that means we a tough little cookies and in my case twice.

    Enjoy your life to the full and count every day as a blessing and I look forward to one day meeting you and giving you a great big hug :-> xx