Dear Kelley,

I am so sorry to hear of the passing of your young daughter and offer my sincere sympathy to you and your family.

I lost my brother at the same age and know just how tough we all found this, especially how hard my mum discovered it was to accept that her beloved son had gone before her. My mum had breast cancer for 12 years before it metastasised in her liver, lungs, bone and brain. This only happened in her final year, but it took her very quickly.

Her pain was considerable and was not well controlled. That was 20 years ago and I well remember just how heart-breaking it all was. I have lost both parents and many family and friends to cancer and know only too well how cruel it can be. I have now had two bouts of primary breast cancer myself. The first was diagnosed nearly 8 years ago and the second nearly 7.

It is far too soon for you to come to terms with this yet. We all react differently to such grief. Don’t try to put it all behind you. Acceptance will come with time. Although you will never forget her, you will eventually remember her pre-cancer and smile as memories come flooding back. At the moment just take things day by day. Eventually, you will find that the more recent memories which I’m sure you probably find the most upsetting, will gradually fade, though it does take some time.

What a pity that your relationship is not so good with your other sibling. I know nothing of your circumstances, so please excuse my next question. Is there any way that you could repair the bond that I presume was once there? If nothing else, a tragedy like this tends to make us appreciate how precious family is and how short and tenuous life can be.

I do hope that you have support from other family members and friends. Please remember that we are always here for you whenever you want to talk.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Dear Kelley,

I am so sorry to hear of the passing of your young daughter and offer my sincere sympathy to you and your family.

I lost my brother at the same age and know just how tough we all found this, especially how hard my mum discovered it was to accept that her beloved son had gone before her. My mum had breast cancer for 12 years before it metastasised in her liver, lungs, bone and brain. This only happened in her final year, but it took her very quickly.

Her pain was considerable and was not well controlled. That was 20 years ago and I well remember just how heart-breaking it all was. I have lost both parents and many family and friends to cancer and know only too well how cruel it can be. I have now had two bouts of primary breast cancer myself. The first was diagnosed nearly 8 years ago and the second nearly 7.

It is far too soon for you to come to terms with this yet. We all react differently to such grief. Don’t try to put it all behind you. Acceptance will come with time. Although you will never forget her, you will eventually remember her pre-cancer and smile as memories come flooding back. At the moment just take things day by day. Eventually, you will find that the more recent memories which I’m sure you probably find the most upsetting, will gradually fade, though it does take some time.

What a pity that your relationship is not so good with your other sibling. I know nothing of your circumstances, so please excuse my next question. Is there any way that you could repair the bond that I presume was once there? If nothing else, a tragedy like this tends to make us appreciate how precious family is and how short and tenuous life can be.

I do hope that you have support from other family members and friends. Please remember that we are always here for you whenever you want to talk.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx