hi Ness. I’ve just been diagnosed with breast cancer and I’m scheduled to have a lumpectomy. My husband died in his 40s from pancreatic cancer and I am reluctant to tell my four adult children my news because I don’t want them to be worrying about me. I’d rather tell them when the news is more positive, but it’s left me feeling quite lonely.  I want to share my news but I’m not sure which of my friends would keep it a secret and so I’ve ended up not telling anyone. Like you I’m usually upbeat, positive and the solver of problems. 

I am also sending you hugs and positive vibes. It’s pretty rubbish isn’t it?

Bex x 

hi Ness. I’ve just been diagnosed with breast cancer and I’m scheduled to have a lumpectomy. My husband died in his 40s from pancreatic cancer and I am reluctant to tell my four adult children my news because I don’t want them to be worrying about me. I’d rather tell them when the news is more positive, but it’s left me feeling quite lonely.  I want to share my news but I’m not sure which of my friends would keep it a secret and so I’ve ended up not telling anyone. Like you I’m usually upbeat, positive and the solver of problems. 

I am also sending you hugs and positive vibes. It’s pretty rubbish isn’t it?

Bex x 

Hi Bex, I didn’t tell my adult kids for a while and they were really cross with me. They said that they always want to support me and how would I feel if it was one of them and they didn’t tell me. It made me look at the situation in a different way and I really needed them so glad I told them. Everyone is different in their views or thoughts but having support and not holding it in may help you. Good luck and best wishes x

Hi Bex,

Firstly, I wish you well on your cancer journey. I’m now being monitored with 6 monthly mammograms, so I can wave bye bye to procedures, for now at least

With the kids, if they will notice a change in your mood or personality I suggest ripping off the plaster and telling them. Sometimes secrets can eat away at you and you don’t need that either. It may be easier to keep them in the loop than hide the facts. However, this is very much a personal choice and you do need to do what’s right for you. 

I feel that the finding, removal and treatment has been a positive because the negative doesn’t bear thinking about. While it’s sore and tiring, I’ve also managed to clear out some rooms in the house and totally declutter! This I’ve found very therapeutic

sending love and hugs xxxxx