Cancer Research UK main site
  • Replies 10 replies
  • Views 9590 views
  • Users 0 members are here

Bf is dumping me

Nayno
Offline

I was diagnosed with stage 2, grade 3 triple negative breast cancer in December 2024. Age 51. My house was up for sale and I was supposed to be moving in with my bf over 150 miles away on the Isle of Wight .  We have been together for 4 years . He came with me for my oncologist appointment on 2nd Jan 2025 and I haven’t seen him since . I have put my house sale on hold now. He has a structural engineering business and uses it as an excuse not to see me. He now says he’s too busy with work , but every weekend he’s arranging to go out with his friends for curry nights, bowling, birthdays and stay at their homes or a hotel . He had time for me before. He would find time for a holiday abroad whenever he wanted, before my diagnosis , so it’s looking like he just doesn’t care. My cancer diagnosis is already hard to deal with , but being dumped in slow motion is the hardest most heartbreaking thing and I’m wondering why am I even bothering with chemo? I’ve lost the will to live.

Parents
  • Offline

    I would seek support from friends and family. I don't know if it makes it easier to hear this but when I've gone through difficult times and had different partners I found that they actually weren't great at all in a crisis or properly there when I needed them. It's always been friends and family who stepped up the most which is sad. But that is a huge reflection on those partners and who they are as people

  • Offline in reply to Na_o

    When I was my boyfriend of 4 years, I was going through a hard time mentally and we took a bit of a break for 2 weeks. I had to go to a funeral and when I came home I saw he had taken all his things. He was actually also meant to go to this funeral but took it as an opportunity to take his things whilst I was out and not speak to me. He completely ghosted me. Of course I could have questioned myself etc but I knew straight away that this was a reflection on him because I would never do that to someone. The same way you wouldn't act how your partner has in this situation. The roles could have very easily been reversed and he could have this diagnosis and not you. One day he will figure out that he could have been in this position and what he did to you was wrong

Reply
  • Offline in reply to Na_o

    When I was my boyfriend of 4 years, I was going through a hard time mentally and we took a bit of a break for 2 weeks. I had to go to a funeral and when I came home I saw he had taken all his things. He was actually also meant to go to this funeral but took it as an opportunity to take his things whilst I was out and not speak to me. He completely ghosted me. Of course I could have questioned myself etc but I knew straight away that this was a reflection on him because I would never do that to someone. The same way you wouldn't act how your partner has in this situation. The roles could have very easily been reversed and he could have this diagnosis and not you. One day he will figure out that he could have been in this position and what he did to you was wrong

Children

Speak to a nurse

Quick links

Follow us

Registered with Fundraising Regulator (logo)
Cancer Research UK is a registered charity in England and Wales (1089464), Scotland (SC041666), the Isle of Man (1103) and Jersey (247). A company limited by guarantee. Registered company in England and Wales (4325234) and the Isle of Man (5713F). Registered address: 2 Redman Place, London, E20 1JQ.