Hi Nayno, 

Aww this must be horrible for you   yes you're right, a BC diagnosis is hard enough, without the one you should have been able to depend on wimping out. 

There's not a lot i can say but your life is 100% worth fighting for and being honest, you've had a lucky escape from the BF you were moving your life to be with. He is spineless and can't even be honest with you, stringing you along with excuses like work. You know it in your gut, listen to it and kick him to the kerb. Concentrate on you, getting though your treatment and getting well - I'm 59 and had BC 3 years ago..you got this xx

Hi Boomer1965

thank you for your strong and powerful message. It’s just what I needed.  I know you’re right. I need to pull myself together and be strong. I guess everything happens for the right reason and luckily I got cancer before selling up and therefore he got exposed for what he really is! Thank you and congratulations on beating BC xxx

I would seek support from friends and family. I don't know if it makes it easier to hear this but when I've gone through difficult times and had different partners I found that they actually weren't great at all in a crisis or properly there when I needed them. It's always been friends and family who stepped up the most which is sad. But that is a huge reflection on those partners and who they are as people

Thank you for your message Na-o.

Honestly I feel sick in my stomach thinking about him  , just letting the realisation sink in. I have a couple of supportive friends , who are a God send. I think I’m off men for now!

This is heart breaking for you, especially when you need all the support you can get to help you through your treatment. I'm afraid, if I had £10 for every time a 'loved one' has dumped their partner after a cancer diagnosis I would be a wealthy woman. I'm not being sexist but the pattern appears to be that more men dump their girlfriend/fiancee/wife than the other way round - and most do it in a way where they suddenly withdraw from the relationship and don't explain why. I can only speak from the experience of a good few cancer patients I know that this has happened to and the overriding lesson I've learned is that some men are selfish and only stick around while the going is good. 

I know it doesn't help the trauma you are going through but, as others have said, you've learned now rather than after you've sold up, moved miles away & then he's left you high and dry. YOU are the priority here and you need love & support and he's not capable of giving it. Surround yourself with family & friends who care about you, treat yourself kindly and concentrate on getting through your cancer treatment. Negativity that he's brought into your life will only delay your progress so keep your eye on reaching that light at the end of the tunnel. Your life will be full of love & sunshine again, don't waste another thought on someone that would just bring you down. There are resources out there for support if you find it difficult to move ahead - professional ones for counselling or support groups (online or local groups) that will help you put him in the past & find your way forward. When you find a man that's worthy of you, they will love you regardless of illness. Take care x

Angie (Stage 3 melanoma patient since 2009)

Oh Nayno, this must be absolutely horrible for you, but it is a fact that when we are going through a crisis in our lives, we find out who our real friends/loved ones are.  It is awful that you had to find out what sort of a Man he is due to a cancer diagnosis, but thank goodness you discovered the truth about him BEFORE you sold up and moved miles away to be with him.  You have had two devastating blows, but the important thing now is YOU.  You must concentrate on getting better, and you might not think so right at this moment, but you WILL find that life is worth living...........the sun will shine again for you Nayno.  Hang in there and keep fighting mate, you are stronger than you think, xx

When I was my boyfriend of 4 years, I was going through a hard time mentally and we took a bit of a break for 2 weeks. I had to go to a funeral and when I came home I saw he had taken all his things. He was actually also meant to go to this funeral but took it as an opportunity to take his things whilst I was out and not speak to me. He completely ghosted me. Of course I could have questioned myself etc but I knew straight away that this was a reflection on him because I would never do that to someone. The same way you wouldn't act how your partner has in this situation. The roles could have very easily been reversed and he could have this diagnosis and not you. One day he will figure out that he could have been in this position and what he did to you was wrong

That’s awful. Your boyfriend was obviously not worthy of you. He did you a favour by getting his horrible self out of your life.  I didn’t realise there were so many bad, selfish men out there.  You are well rid. 

Thank you Blue-girl for your message. Yes I’m hanging in there. I can’t wait for that sun to shine!! X

Thankyou for your message Angie T

I'm feeling like I had a very close shave and thank God I hadn’t sold my house. Im quite shaken up by it really . At least I found out what he’s really like in the nick of time.  It could’ve been a lot worse. Fate has exposed him. I think someone must be watching over me. I have no family, but my friends are there